If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.
Alex called one morning and asked me, “So how far?” I asked, “how far with what?” He said, “I’m talking about Tilly’s issue. Have you been able to find the truth?” I said, “I haven’t but I’ve decided to let it go. Maybe I didn’t see what I thought I saw. I’ve tried everything but nothing has been found yet. Maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me.”
I meant everything I said to him. I was moving on with the hope that the truth might come out one day. When I shared my story, the popular opinion was that Alex could be the one telling her about my moves. Some also suggested that Alex could be the one she was cheating with. I’ve known Alex for so long to know that he wasn’t capable of doing such a thing. But it’s life, you have to allow some space for surprises. So I took the advice here and decided not to tell him anything going forward.
He said, “Bro, that’s the best thing to do right now but don’t let your guard down. Keep an eye on her. Watch her every move and you may get the truth. What you saw is what you saw, you’re not a kid to lie to yourself.” I said, “It’s true but it’s better I let it go so I can enjoy the relationship again.”
Tilly all of a sudden became very clingy. She was calling me every morning to ask what I would be doing and where I would be going and even asked me, “Am I part of your plans today?” If I said no, she’ll do all she could to be with me. I was enjoying the new change but my mind kept telling me, “It’s a guilty act. She’s putting on a performance to get me to forget about the message but I won’t lose guard.” I also have to ask myself this, “If I catch her right now, what will be my next move? Walk out?” I couldn’t answer that question. I loved her too much to let her go.
She spent the night with me one day and I was able to get to her phone. All night I didn’t sleep. The first chat I read was between herself and Alex. She asked, “Has your friend told you anything about me recently?” Alex answered, “Anything about you? Like what?” She answered, “I don’t know but I know guys talk a lot so maybe he had said something about me to you.” Alex asked, “Are you doing something wrong that you think he knows about?” She said, “Noooo, I’m not doing anything. Just that recently he’s been acting weird. He comes to my place unannounced. He looks at me as though he’s suspecting something. I know Don. He’s not himself around me lately. Alex said, “Well, then talk to him. If there’s something you’re hiding from him, let him know. I don’t think he’ll hurt you. I know him. I know he likes you so much.”
I sighed. I moved on to the next chat. One after the other, I read all the chat I suspected I could find something from but I couldn’t get anything. Surprisingly, there was no chat history between her and her ex—the one Alex told me was in town. That should have killed it but I asked, “Why? Does that mean she hasn’t been talking to him? Or they’ve been talking but has been deleting the chats?”
One thing about suspecting your partner of cheating is that, you think about it every day and it causes you more trouble than you deserve. You’re the good one in the relationship. You’re the one who is not cheating. You’re the one who is giving his all to the relationship so why must you be the one to suffer whiles the one you suspect goes around laughing and enjoying her life? I decided to cut the crap and confront her about the issue. I decided it’s only closure that can set my heart at ease and make me decide on the right thing to do.
I was at her place one evening, watching a movie together when I asked her, “You remember days before your birthday you sent me a message and later deleted it? I asked about it and you said you made a silly spelling mistake so you decided to delete it, do you remember?” She laughed. She said, “What about it and why haven’t you forgotten about it all this while?” I said, “I’m giving you another chance to tell me the truth. What did you send and who was it meant for?”
She laughed. She said, “Don, I told you the truth. It was a spelling mistake. You asked me that day and I explained the whole thing to you so why are you bringing it up again?” I said, “I’m bringing it up again because you lied. Your last chance. Tell me the truth. Who was it meant for?” She said, “There’s no truth apart from what I’ve told you. I made a mistake and I deleted it immediately I realized the mistake.” I said, “I read it in my notification bar before you deleted it. You wrote perfect English. You said, “I miss us too and I can’t wait to see you.” Tell me I’m lying?”
She said, “Don, why are you doing this? It’s like you don’t trust me again. That wasn’t what I wrote. I don’t even remember what I wrote because it was a spelling mistake. Why are you making things up?” I said calmly, “Tilly, I’m not angry. I’ve tried in several other ways to find answers but I didn’t get the answer I wanted that’s why I’m talking to you about it. Don’t make me feel like you’re indeed cheating on me.” She started swearing things; “I can swear on the grave of my father that I’m not cheating on you and I can swear with everything I have that I didn’t send such a message. Who will I send such a thing to and why will I make such a mistake?”
“I know you’re lying and the sad thing is, you know you’re lying too. When you’re ready to come clean, call me.” I got up and decided to leave. She got up and stood in my way. she said, “You’re not going anywhere. We’ll finish talking about this before you go.” I pushed her off my way and stepped out. While on my way she called. She was crying. “Don, why are you doing this? If you don’t like me again, just go ahead and say it. Don’t hang on something as this little and leave me.” I said, “I’m not leaving you. I’m only asking you to tell me the truth.” She kept crying. She kept saying she had already told me the truth. I knew the truth and it wasn’t what she told me.
The next morning Alex called me. He said, “You and Tilly fought last night? She called to tell me you’re using antics just to jilt her but she’s already aware of your moves. I told Alex everything and he said, “Wow, this girl can act!” Alex called us on a conference call so we resolve everything. Tilly insisted that she had said the truth. She even accused Alex of conniving with me just to jilt her. Nothing we said would make this girl confess.
A week after, I told Alex that I was moving on because that girl can’t be trusted. He asked me to exercise patience. He said, “Let’s get her to tell the truth first. She’s just playing hard because she’s ashamed of everything. She’ll come clean soon, just hold on.”
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Two weeks ago she came to my place with Alex. She said, “Yeah you’re right about the message but I didn’t want to lose you that’s why I couldn’t tell you the truth from the beginning.” I asked, “Who was the message for?” She said, “It was a response to a message my ex sent when he was coming to Ghana. I didn’t mean it. I was only saying something to make him happy. After the message mistakenly got to you, I didn’t bother to send it again to him. Alex knows him. He’s been in town since my birthday but I haven’t bothered to see him. Please trust me on this one.”
All I said was, “Thanks for finally telling me the truth, for telling me I’m sane after all.” She asked, “So what next?” I said, “Nothing. God dey so I dey.” She asked, “Are we still together?” I said, “I don’t know.” Alex chipped in, “I know the guy. I’ve spoken to him. He confirmed he hasn’t met Tilly yet so you can trust her on her ex issue.” I said, “How about the whole issue? Did we have to drag it till this point before she accepts?” Alex said, “That’s the issue ooo. Anyway, I’ll leave you two to talk about things.”
It’s been a couple of weeks and days, I still don’t know how to make out of the whole thing. My trust in her is battered. If she didn’t have anything to hide then why stretch it this far? Why all those performances? Couldn’t she have just said the truth the day I mentioned it to her? She keeps asking me what we are. I keep telling her to give me some time to think through things. Honestly, I don’t know what to think because ex issues always give me scares.
–Don
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