Moses lives in Abuja while I live in another city. We are both from the same State though. When we first met in a group chat, I liked his vibe. He also said he started talking to me because there was something about me that intrigued him. In the beginning, we spoke as friends getting to know each other.

I was single at that time. Well, I am still single. Anyway, he also said he was single. However, unlike me, his single came with something attached: a single father. He has three little children. They are all boys. When we talked, I would ask about them and he would tell me all about their daily activities. We spoke about the challenges and the little joys he experienced. 

I don’t have kids but I have been around children enough times to know a few things about them. So sometimes I offered him helpful tips on how to handle some of his challenging situations. Our chats went on for some time before they stopped. We didn’t have a falling out. Nobody ghosted the other. We just talked less and less until we completely drifted apart.

A few months ago my pastor gave me a prophecy concerning marriage. He told me, “I can see in the spiritual realm that marriage is coming your way from Abuja. It’s going to happen from this month to February next year.” I wasn’t romantically involved with anyone in Abuja but I received the message with faith and  responded, “If it is the will of God then so be it.” 

That very month I received the prophecy, the Abuja guy with the three kids got in touch and started chatting with me. The first time we spoke I didn’t ask him about his history. The “How did you become a single father?” question. Maybe because I did not consider him a love interest at that time, I did not feel the need to probe. But this time around, things were different. 

I saw him differently because of the prophecy and the timing of our reconnection. So I asked him questions about his family. “What happened to the mother of your children?” “She is no longer with me,” he responded. At first, I understood it as they lost her. When I asked what happened, I realized she is still alive. She just chose a path that led her away from her family. 

According to him, they lived together as husband and wife although he hadn’t paid her bride price. After their third child, he was ready. He no longer felt right about calling her his wife without earning the right to. To change things he told her, “I want us to start the marriage process so I can pay your dowry.” Their marriage ended there and then. 

READ ALSO: Which Of My Three Fathers Should I Introduce To My Fiancé’s Parents?

While he wanted to do the honorable thing and marry her officially, she opened up to him about her dreams. “I have always wanted to be an actress. And I feel this is the time for me to go and chase my dreams. I am no longer interested in marriage,” she said as she broke up with him.

 When she was leaving, their last child was four months old. She didn’t take even him along. Since then, the man has been taking care of those kids. I was moved by his story. I don’t know what made her finally choose her dreams over her family but she is the only one who can tell her side of the story. As for Moses, I felt pity for him. Maybe that was what he wanted, sympathy. It’s not as if he would tell his story in a way that would make himself look bad in my eyes.

Marriage Turned Me Into Who I Was Not

Anyway, we continued to talk more after that. Things started progressing between us. I saw all the signs before he finally asked me, “Will you marry me even though I am a single father?” I didn’t have an answer for him at first. However, enough time has passed since I got to know him. I believe I am beginning to get to love him.

He has asked me to visit him in Abuja so I can meet the kids. After that, we will start making preparations for our traditional marriage and then our church wedding. This is the plan, but before I go through with any of it, I need some advice. Is it a good idea to marry this man? Am I making a mistake here? 

— Sally

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