It was my friend who added me to the Whatsapp group. I’m a sports enthusiast and the group discussed solely football issues. Some members also give betting odds which others claim they win out of those odds. I’m not a bet fan so I was there just to discuss soccer, troll the losing teams and make new friends. When I was added, I didn’t talk for over two weeks. I was assessing the temperature of the group and looking out for the kings and queens of the group—those people whose views are mostly respected by everyone in the group. Not too long afterward, I identified a member who was always chatting in the group. The name was “Chelsea Reigns.” For a long time I thought he was a guy until one Sunday they asked everyone to send their photos. 

When she sent hers I was like, “Wow, she’s a lady? Then she really knows her stuff when it comes to football. There was no topic in the group that she wasn’t on board. She made the platform fun until one day she made a silly comment and everyone descended on her. She was removed from the group. From the information gathered from the people on the platform, she went around asking for forgiveness and another opportunity to get back to the group. I called my friend. I said, “Please bring the girl back. Her absence will dull the group. People like her are needed in every group.” 

Days later, she was reinstated. She wrote her apology and everyone welcomed her back. For days she wasn’t talking so I reached out to her privately, “Dear, I miss your contribution on the page. What’s happening to you?” She asked, “Who is this?” I said, “A secrete admirer from the soccer page. She said, “So how come I don’t know you?” I said, “I’ve been a ghost since I joined but I read everything. Your contribution makes me happy. I look forward to them every day. Please don’t stay quiet.” She sent a laughing emoji. She said, “Are you sure you were not sent by one of the admins?” I said, “No. I came to you because I want to hear from you in the group.”

We built some sort of rapport that allowed us to talk every now and then. I asked her name. She said, “Call me Reigns.” We talked about football. She asked if I was a fan of betting. I said, “No.” She said, “Then you’re different. You even sound more decent than all the guys I’ve spoken to on the page.” I said, “If that’s a compliment, I will take it.” She said, “It’s all yours. Take it.”

One day the discussion changed. We talked about our lives. There was one thing I noticed from the way she talked. She knew a lot. Every interesting place I mentioned she said she knows there. She said she had visited the place with her friends. She had a bubbly attitude towards everything.  I fell for her. One day I proposed. She said, “You don’t even know me.” I said, “The little you’ve shown me is enough for me to like you.” Then she said, “Well, I don’t know you enough to fall for you. At least, let’s meet first.” I said, “That’s a good idea. So where and when do we meet?” She said, ”I’m always available. Just tell me where and I will meet you.”

My schedule got tight. We made a series of arrangements but it all failed. We kept in touch. I called her on video often. Each night, we’ll stay on video all night until the cock crows. My love for her grew an inch each time we spoke. One Sunday I had a free time. I said, “This Sunday, I’m free. It’s your call. Where do you want us to go?” She mentioned a place she said was closer to her area. I asked, “I hope it’s a nice place?” She said, “You’ll love it. They have everything.”

That Sunday we met.  She was beautifully dressed. I said, ”Wow.” She said, “Stop flattering me.” 

From the beginning of the journey until we got there, this girl never kept quiet. Immediately she sat in the Uber she said, “Driver, put on the AC.” The driver said, “Oh my car just came from the workshop oo. The AC isn’t working.” She retorted, “You guys are all the same. Your ACs have never worked. So what’s the difference between you and the normal taxi drivers?  You’re lucky I’m not the one paying for the trip. I would have deducted the cost of AC from the final charges.” The driver was a little bit embarrassed. I was pricking her to stop. She screamed, “Let me give it to him. They are all like that. They charge high and still won’t give you AC.”

The first red flag for me. She was talking too much and I didn’t like it. But the worse was yet to come.

We got to the place and took our seats. A few minutes later, a lady walked to our table and said, “If you want to order something, kindly go to the counter and place your order.” Reigns asked loudly, “Why should we go to the counter? Bring us the menu and we’ll place our order.” The lady said, “Here, we offer over-the-counter services so kindly go to the counter.” She said, “You’re lying. The last time I was here with my friends, they brought us a menu. Don’t be lazy. Go and bring the menu or we’ll leave and go somewhere else.” I winked at the girl. She got the message and left. I went to the counter with her. She spent forever going through the menu on the board. She said, “What I like is not on the menu. Just serve me exactly what he ordered.”

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Minutes later, a lady approached our table with neatly rolled warm towels. Reigns asked, “Is that what we ordered for? What meat is that? It looks like a towel.” I smiled and said, “Yes, it’s a towel.” She said, “So why is it boiling?” I looked at the girl serving us. She was trying hard to suppress her laugher. She looked away. I picked one of the towels and started cleaning my hands. She said, “If I came here alone and they served me this, I would have eaten it. What kind of temptation is that?” I said in my head, “Is it not this girl who said she had been here with friends?” 

She talked about everyone who passed by our table. She passed unsavory remarks about the workers there and even customers who walked by to get their food. When she realized I wasn’t talking back she said, “Am I talking too much? That’s how I am ooo. When I see food, I talk a lot.” She doesn’t know how to talk undertone. Even when she whispered, people at the next table heard her. I couldn’t wait to call it a night and go home. 

I had a bad night and didn’t want another date with her. When I got home, I thanked my stars that she didn’t accept my proposal. I sent her a message and thanked her for the date. 

She had been calling since that night. Days ago she asked me, “Repeat what you told me the other day so I can give you an answer.” I pretended I didn’t know about anything. She tried all she could to make me remember but I played dumb. I don’t want her again and I want to tell her. I proposed to her and I want to withdraw my proposal. How do I go about it in such a way that she wouldn’t feel bad and bitter about it?  

–Ali

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