The first time I met Linda, I felt an instant connection. It was as if the universe had placed her in my path for a reason. There was something about her that stood out. Her energy made her irresistible. I was drawn to her before I knew what was happening. The only word that came to my mind was, “This girl is special.”

Her presence ignited a hope within me, one that had long since been buried beneath the weight of disappointments and past heartaches. I saw her as my chance for something more, something real: true love. 

I was there for her from the start. She was in her fourth year in secondary school at the time, but I knew she was going places. And I wanted to be part of her journey. So I supported her in every way I could. 

I worked multiple odd jobs, and every shilling I earned went straight into her school fees. I wanted her to have the opportunity to chase her dreams without the constant stress of financial worries hanging over her head. It didn’t matter how exhausted I was or how little time I had for myself. Her education was everything to me. 

When she graduated from secondary school, I was there. You should see my face beaming with pride. I kept saying, “We did it, babe. I am so proud of you.” Why wouldn’t I be? It was a moment I’d worked so hard for. It also spoke volumes of how far we had come.

When Linda secured a spot at one of Nairobi’s prestigious universities, I could feel my heart swell with joy. This was a new chapter for her, and in many ways, for me too. But it was also a bit intimidating. 

University life was a different world. I didn’t know their rules. And it made me worry. “What if she struggles to cope with her new environment?” I often wondered. I also worried about what the distance would mean for us. What if our connection is not strong enough to survive this? 

Despite the uncertainties, I believed in her potential, and in us. This was what kept me going. I continued to work tirelessly. I did whatever I could to support her. I invested every ounce of my energy, and every bit of financial stability I could muster, into ensuring she had what she needed to succeed. After all, she was going to be my wife. 

Years passed, and Linda graduated with honors, just as I had always known she would. I was over the moon. Seeing her achieve something so incredible filled my heart with pride. 

To celebrate, I even helped her land her first job. It was a milestone for both of us. I was ready for us to experience everything we dreamed of. Unbeknownst to me, life had other plans. 

A few months after Linda started her new job, my own world came crashing down. I lost my job due to company downsizing. The blow hit me hard. The financial stability I had worked so hard to create for us dissolved overnight. And just when I thought I might need her the most, she made a choice that shattered me completely. She left.

Linda found someone else who could offer her the security I no longer could. She chose comfort over the love we nurtured over the years. My heart broke in ways I didn’t know were possible, but I said nothing. She was gone, and I was left behind, nursing a wound that refused to heal.

Five years passed, and not a day went by that I didn’t think about her. It wasn’t just the memories of our good times that lingered. It was the life we almost had that hurt the most. It was right within our grasp, you know. 

It’s not as if I didn’t want to move on. I tried to move on. I threw myself into work, surrounded myself with friends, and tried to forget about her but it was not easy. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t let her go.

So imagine my surprise when I received a message from Linda out of the blue. After all these years, she was reaching out. “I am sorry,” she said, “I regret leaving you the way I did.” She spoke of our past with so much nostalgia. Then she asked if there was a chance that we get back together.

READ ALSO: My Experience Dating Cacktus Jack: He’s Not The Victim He Says He Is (Part 2)

Her message made me feel things. The part of me that still loved her was excited. While the other part that was so hurt by her abandonment screamed at me to stay away from her. 

This is my dilemma. I haven’t been able to love another woman the way I love her. But if I take her back, can I bring myself to forgive her for the way she turned her back on us? Even when I saw her message, the anger, and confusion I felt when she left came flooding back. So what would I choose? 

I Gave Him A Toffee My Pastor’s Wife Gave Me To Say Yes To His Proposal

Right here in Nairobi where our story began, I sit here feeling burdened by the options I have been presented with. The city, with its busy streets and relentless pace, was the backdrop to our love story. Now, it is a reminder of what I have lost and what might still be possible should I let go of the past.

I don’t know what to do. Love is complicated, and forgiveness is difficult when the cut runs deep. But I know that whatever I decide now will shape my life going forward. I can either resign myself to a loveless life or I can risk another betrayal all in the name of love. What would you advise me to do in this situation? 

— Alex

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB