The difficult moment in my life brought me the woman I thought I could love forever. I mean she was perfect in all areas and ticked all the boxes for me. I was working in Accra. I was getting money. Everything was going well in my life. Just when I thought things would get better, the organization I was working for raised suspicion about the work that we were doing. They said the finances didn’t add up. Someone out there was stealing from the coffers of the organization. They started their investigation and after the investigation, six people were sacked. I was in line to be sacked. I got suspended while they investigated my work. After everything, they didn’t find any wrongdoing in my line of work but they won’t let me stay in my position. They threw me up North to go and work there.

I got broken. It was like a dream of mine was coming to an end. I had started a side job in Accra and was going very well; “Who’s going to handle this work for me? Or I should resign and focus on my side job?” It was too early to resign. The money I was receiving from my regular job was what I was using to build this new project so it was just unreasonable for me to resign. I accepted the transfer and started preparing to move. One good day, I bade Accra goodbye, took my things and went to Wa to start working there. A few days after staying in Wa, I met Humu. 

I was returning from town carrying stuff in both hands when she rushed to me to collect the load. I didn’t want to give it to her but she insisted. She made it look like she had failed in life if I didn’t give her what I was carrying in my hands. I obliged and gave them to her. She followed me until we got to the house I was living in. I took my load and said my thanks. The impression she left on me occupied my mind all evening until I went to bed. “Wow, that girl is well trained. Is that how women here behave? A beautiful lady like this will run to you and collect what you’re carrying? Not in Accra.”

I made it a point to see her again. Just the following day, I saw her again. I realized she didn’t live far from where I lived so she came around where we first met often. When I saw her, I greeted and she nodded. She was in the midst of other ladies but I didn’t care. I stood there and spoke with her for a while. I ended up taking her number before leaving. Immediately after I got home, I called her; “I’m new around here. Can you take me around town one of these days?” She answered, “If only you’ll have time.” I said, “After work, I don’t go anywhere so I will have all the time to go wherever you want us to go.” She asked me, “Do you know how to ride a motorbike?” I was quiet for a second. She said, “Don’t worry, I will teach you.”

Friendship began. It grew into love. I saw from her eyes that she loved me too but I was biding my time to know her for who she was. I couldn’t stand the charade so one day I proposed to her and she said, “When you guys come from Accra and see us, you want to be with us but immediately you go back to Accra, you forget about us. If that’s what you want then we better remain friends.” I told her, “I’m working here so I belong here. I’m not going back to Accra any moment from now and with the kind of love I have for you, I doubt I will leave you here when the time comes for me to go back. I’m looking for something that lasts and I see that thing in you.”

One thing I realized when we started dating was the fact that she wanted to take care of me. She was a teacher. I was earning way more than she did but she tried to take care of me. I told her, “That’s not your job. I’m in your life so we can help each other. Let me pay for what you buy for me, at least. That’s how it’s done.” It didn’t stop her from cooking for me without taking a penny from me. A few months after dating, everyone in her family knew about me. Her siblings saw me in town and called out to me. I went to her house often and her parents were pleased to meet me. We stayed for three years and started talking about marriage. One day, the office decided to send me back to Accra. It was supposed to be happy news but I couldn’t be happy. I knew she wasn’t going to be happy about it too.

We talked about it extensively and promises were made. “No, I won’t leave you. Looking at how far we’ve come, how can I go back and forget about you? You are the one and we are going to get married very soon so you come and live with me in Accra.” When I was coming back to Accra, I came with her so she will know where I live and visit whenever she could. I introduced her to my parents and they were pleased with her personality. We stayed in Accra for one week before she went back. Two months after I settled in Accra, she called to tell me she had found a new job. She had found a job with an NGO with a salary she can’t say no to. I was happy for her but her new job changed everything.

She didn’t get the time to travel to Accra and see me often. I was the one going there often to see her. The NGO was always on the move from one place to another, even on weekends. I couldn’t stand it so I started entertaining other women. Well, I wasn’t going to leave her. I was only filling the void her absence had left in my life. “Body no be firewood.” The very day I got a woman to say yes to me, Humu called to ask If I was cheating on her. I said, “How can you even think of that? Instead of finding ways to visit often, you’re there talking about cheating.” She said calmly, “If you’re cheating on me, please stop. I will get the time very soon and I will  come and stay with you.”

She came to Accra once. She spent about four days with me. The first day she came, it was in the middle of shuperu when she told me, “You’ve seen another woman, tell the truth.” I pretended I didn’t hear her. I kept going until I was done. She looked into my eyes and said, “You’ve been cheating on me. Who is that woman?” I answered, “What sort of insecurity has descended on you these days? What makes you think I’m seeing another woman? Stop those baseless accusations. I don’t like that.” She kept quiet and never said a word. For the rest of her stay, she didn’t talk about me cheating again.

When she went back to Wa and she called me, she warned, “I know you’re doing something wrong but you’ll deny it. Please stop it or just tell me it’s over so you can go ahead and see other women.” I brushed her aside while I kept seeing other women. In my mind, she was the main chick while other women are the side ones. Honestly speaking, I loved her too much to lose her but I couldn’t stand her long absence. I needed her close but she couldn’t be so I found pleasure in other people.

In January 2022, she came to visit me. She spent a week and left. When she was leaving I asked her, “So when am I going to see you again?” She answered, “I don’t know but once I’m free, I will tell you so you come around or I come around.” She left on a Thursday. On Saturday, one of my girls came around and we hit the ground running. At dawn when she was ready to leave, I realized I couldn’t stand on my feet. I couldn’t even move my legs. I was like, “Hey, what’s happening to me?” I tried again and I couldn’t feel my legs. It felt like the bones in my legs had melted. I screamed, “What is happening to me? What did you do to my legs.” The girl just stood there looking at me as if I was joking. She said, “If you won’t see me off, it’s ok. I’m leaving.” 

No matter how I screamed and tried to let her see that there was something wrong, this girl thought I was joking so she walked out of the door and left. My heart started beating faster. I couldn’t lift my lower body, I had to crawl to the door. I called my father and told him what was going on. He came to my place with my junior brother. He asked me, “What did you do that all of a sudden something of this sort will happen to you?” I answered, “I slept last night in very good shape, only to wake up like this.” He touched my legs and asked if I could feel them. I said I couldn’t. He asked my brother to call a taxi. Before the taxi could arrive, I called Humu to tell her what had happened. After narrating my ordeal to hear she said, “You said you were not cheating so why can’t you walk?”

I got angry. I screamed on the phone, “I’m here losing my legs and all you could talk about is cheating? Are you going crazy? What’s wrong with you?” She said, “It’s only the truth that can save you. Who did you sleep with last night? If you think I’m joking, go wherever you want to go and see if you’ll walk again. Liar!” My dad was with me. He heard what was going on. He asked me, “What is she saying that you’re this angry?” I couldn’t tell him. The taxi arrived. I told my dad, “It looks like Humu knows something about what’s going on. Please talk to her for me.”

My dad called her. It was on a loudspeaker. All she said was, “He has to tell the truth and see if he can’t walk again.” My dad asked her, “What truth?” She answered, “He knows what I’m talking about.” I screamed from where I was seated, “Yes, I did it. There’s another woman. She was here yesterday. Is that why you want to kill me? Is that how you are.” My dad was lost. He asked what we were talking about. Humu said, “Dad, leave him there. It’s his cheating ways that have rendered him paralyzed. He’ll walk again very soon, don’t worry.” I screamed, “Soon when? Why are you toying with my life? Do you want to kill me? What loving woman will do that to her boyfriend because her boyfriend cheated, huh?” 

My dad asked me, “So should we go to the hospital or not?” I told him, “Send the Taxi away and let’s engage Humu. She’s the one responsible for this. Just last night I was fine. How can I go through this in the morning if it’s not witchcraft?” My dad called her again, pleading with her to forgive and forget. She promised him that I would be fine very soon so he shouldn’t worry. I was bedridden for the whole day. To make matters worse, she stopped picking up our calls and later turned her phone off. The next morning, I woke up feeling like nothing has happened to me. I could walk and run. I could jump and kick things with my legs. All was well again but in my mind, the relationship was over.

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She called days later and said she was coming around. She said, “Maybe, I contributed to how things were. Our work is one break now. I’m going to be with you until there’s no reason for you to cheat again.” I wanted to tell her not to come but I was scared. I didn’t know what else she could do if I asked her not to come. I reluctantly agreed for her to come. All the time she was around, I was scared. I didn’t even know how to relate to her. She sensed my fear and tried to calm me down. She said, “All you had to do was tell the truth. But don’t also think I went anywhere. I only gave you to my grandfather to handle you and he did. It’s in my house. I didn’t need to travel.”

We are still together but I’m with her out of fear than love. I know if I leave her she won’t do anything to me, she loves me that much but I also don’t feel comfortable living with a woman who can do this to me all because of infidelity. What else can she do when we marry and face bigger fights? That’s my problem now. I might leave the relationship, even my parents want me to walk out. They are also scared for my life. Today I’m with her but I don’t think it will end the way we both wanted it to end. She leaves me with no option. 

—Ansah

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