I have been dating Sampson for the past two years. I love him so much and he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. My only problem with him is that he lives in his family house. At the beginning of our relationship, he promised he would move out before we get married. Now when I try to remind him about it he tells me he has changed his mind. He said, “I want us to live here in my family house when we get married. That way we can save money and buy land so we build our own house.” I have given it a lot of thought and that’s not something I can do.

I am a woman with a high shuperu drive. I wouldn’t be comfortable living with my in-laws because of that. Their presence alone in the house would be a major turn-off for me. I have tried to explain this to Sammy but he doesn’t want to understand. Sometimes we argue about it. When we do he tells me, “Don’t forget that you are unemployed. If we get married I will be responsible for all our bills. Do you want to add rent to that?” 

The truth is, before I lost my job, I invested my savings into his business. And even though I am unemployed now, I am working towards getting another job. I know he is just using my current financial status to push his agenda. This has made things rocky between us. Whenever we talk about marriage, I remind him about accommodation, and he points out that I am unemployed. That has been the circle for some time now. 

I started feeling I should move on with my life because he is not ready to do what’s necessary for us to move forward. So somewhere in 2021, I met my childhood crush Yoofi at an event. We started talking and reminiscing about the good old days. I didn’t have a crush on him anymore but I enjoyed his attention. Through our conversations, he expressed interest in marrying me. Initially, I thought he was joking so I said yes. But then I realized he took it seriously. 

He started playing the part of a boyfriend and I welcomed it. He lived in another region so I thought nothing would come out of our relationship. I was just stringing him along for the attention and the benefits. After some time, he came to visit me. We went out and had fun. When we got back home, things got heated between us. We kissed, we touched. He played naughty. I got heated. When it was time for shuperu, I realized that his joystick was still soft. I was like, ‘After everything? What’s happening to this man?” I thought about it but couldn’t speak out about it. We couldn’t get to the end of what we started. He left. 

The days after the encounter, I thought a lot about everything. I want to get married. I’m a woman who loved to be married—I want a man by my side to do the rest of my life with him. The two men in my life come with a special bundle of issues. Yoofi is ready to marry me. Sammy’s situation doesn’t look like he’s prepared to go all the mile. The problem with Yoofi is that I cannot marry someone I’m not sure about when it comes to shuperu. When I rate the qualities of a man I want to be with, shuperu rates as important as anything else. 

Not too long after his first visit, he came back again. I was determined to see what he carries between his legs. We started the process all over again until we got to the point where he had to hit. I made it a point to look at it before it hits. What I saw was an eye sore. Apart from the fact that it couldn’t get hard, it was too small for what I would love to have in me. In my mind, I said, “What would I have to do to get it right with men? The wrong one has what it takes, the right one comes with what I don’t like.” 

With my appetite, I will not be satisfied with it. Sammy is well endowed in that department but here lies the case, he is not ready to get married. 

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Yoofi has been asking me to fix a date so our families meet for official introductions. His family knows about me but I haven’t said anything to my family about him. His situation down there has left me confused and indecisive. Because of this, I’ve been dragging my feet when it comes to the progress of the relationship. He doesn’t make me feel like a woman the way Sammy does. He is worried about the way I’m going about things. He asks if there’s a problem but I tell him everything is fine. Meanwhile, I am still dating Sammy and he is also doing his best as a caring boyfriend. 

He sends me money regularly and assures me that everything will be alright. I get good shuperu from him, and that makes me happy. My love for him remains unwavering. My only problem with him is the accommodation issue. I will be screaming when things get far. I wouldn’t like to worry about his family at that moment when all I want to do is scream my head off.  

This whole situation has been giving me sleepless nights. 

I keep wondering, “What if I wait around for Sammy and he never marries me? Yoofi is ready. Maybe if I marry him, I will get used to his baby joystick situation. Or maybe I won’t get used to it and it will become a problem in our marriage. There is no easy choice between the two. I am worried that I would choose wrong and live to regret it. Please I need your advice on who to choose among these two men. Can I truly be happy with a man who’s not well endowed? Please help me out here. 

–Gigi

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