He came into the picture when I needed someone to help me. He was new. I didn’t know him too well except for his name, Nicholas, but he encouraged me to share my problems with him and I did. I didn’t think he would be in a position to help me. I thought telling him my story was going to be one of those emotional exercises where you get someone to hear your story and you become lighter because you’ve had someone to offload half of your burden to. He listened attentively and asked me, “Is that all?” I answered, “Yeah. It sounds a lot right?” He told me, “Let’s give it some days. I’ll see what I can do.” I nodded my head and we parted ways.

I didn’t expect anything from him but a week later he called me, “Louisa, I have it. When can we meet so I give it to you?” I was stunned. “You have it? What do you mean you have it?” He answered, “I told you I was going to see what I can do, right? I have it. Let’s meet so I give it to you.” I cried when he hung up the phone. I had given up on myself and had started thinking of the next step to take but he appeared just when I was sinking and pulled me out of the drowning waters. He gave me my full fees and told me, “It’s from my heart. No strings attached. Whenever you need help let me know and I’ll see what I can do.” 

I was able to complete school that year because of the benevolence of Nicholas, a man I barely knew. He’ll call me every now and then to ask how I was doing. Before I wrote my final exam, he came to campus to see me. When he was leaving, he gave me something. “How can a man this age be so kind with his money?” I was happy I had him in my corner and was ever ready to do anything to reciprocate his help. It could be anything. If he called one day and asked for help, I prayed I would be in the position to also help. 

I was doing my national service when he proposed to me. By that time I felt I knew him enough and knew the kind of person he was so I didn’t hesitate in saying yes. He was very happy that day as if he was anticipating a no from me and he got a yes. I told him, “Let’s forget the series of help you’ve brought my way. Aside from everything, you’re a good man. I love how you show empathy and I love the fact that you’re always thinking about me and how to get to me.” 

He was my help in times of trouble and also became the man I gave my all. He came to my station often. It was a village but he didn’t mind. The conditions in the house I was living in didn’t suit his personality but he didn’t mind. He would visit in a weekend and leave on a Sunday afternoon. I went to visit him once and he took me to visit his parents. When they asked him who I was, he answered casually, “Oh, she’s my girlfriend. We are looking forward to getting married soon after she completes her service.” 

I was like, “Did he just introduce me to his parents as his marriage interest? Wow, I hate speed but this speed is good. I’m enjoying it.” 

The demeanour of his parents surprised me a little. Their reaction didn’t tell a story of surprise or happiness or anything. They were just indifferent. They shook my hands and did the welcome thing but they were expressionless so it made me wonder whether or not they liked me. On our way going he told me I shouldn’t worry and I trusted him.

Whenever he came to visit me, there was a particular call he answered that lasted for over an hour. The call came through exactly the same time every evening and if you listen carefully you’ll know it’s a woman he is talking to. One day I asked him about it and he brushed it aside; “Oh it’s just family issues from a family person.” It continued until I started getting anxious about it. I pushed him left and right and nagged him to a point where he felt he should tell me the truth. He said, “She’s Araba. She has a child for me. Our child is five years old. She calls because of the child between us but we are no longer together.” 

Every fibre in me trembled when he said that. “You have a child and you didn’t tell me until this time? Don’t you think you should have laid all your cards down right from the start? I should know even before you proposed to me. You don’t wait to ambush me with this sort of information at this time of the relationship when the ship had already sailed. That’s not fair.” He went down on his knees and started apologizing. He said he wanted to tell me but he didn’t want it to affect the relationship.

“And you’re sure they won’t affect our relationship? Your daughter and her mom.”

“No, they won’t in any way. She knows about you and she knows I’ve moved on. There’s no way you would be affected.”

I trusted him and gave our love another mile to thrive on. He was still kind and was doing everything he once did to make me happy. I completed my national service and didn’t have a job but this guy gave me a monthly allowance. He carried my CV around as if it was his own. He was doing everything for me so all I did was relax and give him the love he deserved. I was home and living with my parents so I introduced him to them one day to make our relationship official. He wanted to get accommodation for me so I could leave home. I told him my parents won’t agree until maybe I get a job and I have to leave. 

I got pregnant for him and I felt so disappointed in myself. I didn’t tell him right away. I wanted to be sure of how I was going to handle it. I concluded I was going to keep it before I picked up my phone and called him. He asked me, “So what are you going to do?” I answered, “I’m going to keep it.” He said, “No problem. Let’s keep it.” I was like, “Just like that? No fight about it? Let’s keep it just like that?” He laughed. He told me there was no need to fight about something that has already happened. “We can only go forward,” he said.

READ ALSO: I Lost Two Men To Women Who Had Money

I told my parents about it and they were very disappointed in me but there was nothing they could do. Currently, I’m five months pregnant. He came to visit me and he told me, “The way things are going, I’ve decided to marry you and Araba together. I love you but I love her too. There’s nothing that stops me from making the two relationships official. You’re the one I lied to so I want you to have a choice. Would you like to be the first or the second wife?” 

It was funny so I laughed. He told me he was serious. I told him he couldn’t be serious. “This is a woman you told me there was nothing going on between you and her. That was also one of the lies?” He nodded his head. “Oh wow, so she knows about what you’re telling me? That you’re going to marry both of us?” He responded, “No she doesn’t know. You’re the one I truly love. I love you more than I love her but both of you have my child so I want to do the right thing. After you, I’ll tell her and I believe she would understand.” 

It felt like I was in a movie. A movie that was directed by a ten-year-old boy. The script was bad, the direction was all over the place and the cameras were not working. I asked him to go and think about it very well and come back again. I didn’t see the need to tell my parents about it because it didn’t sound right. 

A week or so later, I had a call from someone who introduced herself as Araba. She said, “Don’t listen to Nicholas. He’s crazy. In this era, who’ll agree to such silly arrangements? My sister, don’t listen to him.” She meant well so we talked all day. We both agreed not to agree to that arrangements. She told me she was leaving him because he had lied to her from day one and even encouraged me to leave too.

He Left Me Because I Was Raised By A Single Mother–Beads Media

I don’t know what to do. I talk to Araba often and she tells me she has left him. She always encourages me to leave too but I feel there’s a trick in her sleeve. Maybe she wants me to leave so she can have him all to himself. I don’t even mind if that happens but my problem is Nicholas. He doesn’t want to give up on me. Currently, my parents don’t even want to see his face around but I want peace to prevail so my child would have a father. Of course, if Araba leaves, I would love to stay. If she stays I will…I will…honestly, I’m confused but I know I don’t want to be a number in a marriage and I don’t also want to push him away. What do you advise? 

–Louisa

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

******