I feel raw and completely confused. I have been with my boyfriend for almost five years. And you know how a year isn’t easy talk less of five years. Last June, I discovered he was cheating on me with a girl he had introduced as his ‘best friend.’ The hurt was devastating. Every time I confronted him, he would deny it like Peter denied Jesus. Things only got worse when I found their messages on his old phone.

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I left him. I moved out of his grandmother’s place, where I was staying, and went back to my mother’s house. Even though my mom and my sister encouraged me to forgive him and move on, but I was too hurt to even think about it.

I gave him another chance in February, hoping things would be different. But I found out he was still in contact with her. She even called him multiple times a day, and he even involved her in our personal plans. It broke me all over again. Then, not even a week after I left him for the second time, I got the news that she had passed away.

When I asked him about their history, he lied. He told me she was just an ‘ex,’ even though I knew the truth. It feels like my whole life with him has been built on a lie.

Now, he wants us to get married in December. I told him I need until March of next year. Partly because I am scared of being hurt again, and partly because I do not want to enter a marriage without having my own footing in life. But what hurts me more is the way he talks about me. He says he does not want to marry someone who will “frustrate him till he dies,” quoting his pastor. I have never insulted his family, and his words pain me.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

Honestly, I feel like I have lost myself in all of this. I am not sure I believe in ‘true love’ anymore. I cannot bear the thought of going through this pain again. Has anyone else been through something like this? How did you heal? How did you know it was time to walk away for good?

—Bene

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