If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

Before I continue the rest of my story, I would like to answer a question someone asked. “What did he finally say to convince me to marry him?” It’s simple. I got pregnant. That was what finally got me to agree to the marriage. As for why I stayed for all these years after everything I experienced, I honestly don’t know. Maybe I am just the kind of woman who does not like to be alone. But trust me, now I have seen enough pepper to know that it is way better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. 

Anyway, when he got his green card he asked for a divorce. He said, “Now that I have my green card, I can marry someone and take $20,000 from them. I will use the money to invest in a business in Ghana.” He pitched the idea as a business venture. It was an illegal thing he wanted to do so I said no. 

After that time, every little thing that happened would turn into a cold war. He would get angry and stop talking to me. Things got so bad that we started sleeping in separate bedrooms. I would cook and he would decide if he was in the mood to eat my food. I got involved in an accident and this man ignored me the entire time. 

Recently, I woke up feeling unwell. I was dizzy and vomiting all morning. My first suspicion was pregnancy. He had gone to work so I called to tell him, “When you are coming home please buy a home pregnancy test. I have been sick all day so I want to make sure that’s not why.” He plainly told me he wouldn’t buy the kit. 

He came home and didn’t even bother to see how I was doing. I even felt sad for myself. My illness escalated until I asked my oldest son to get an Uber and take me to the ER. We got there and they said I had vertigo. My husband is my emergency contact so they had to call him.

This man got angry that I went to the hospital without telling him. He called me stupid among other names. I told you I was sick and you didn’t care to even knock on my door to check up on me. How then do you expect me to ask you to take me to the hospital? What wrong did I do by looking out for myself? 

Apart from that time when he lived in Dubai and sent us money every month, I can’t say he has done much for our family as the head. Sure, he did buy me a laptop at some point, and an iPhone recently. Every other thing that requires him to provide, he would say; “I don’t have money. You know I am investing money into my businesses back in Ghana.” It bothered me that this man would invest all his money into his businesses and leave no room for providing for his family. Nonetheless, I never complained. 

His excuse is always, “You earn more than I do so there is nothing wrong if you do most of the heavy lifting.” So I would pay the majority of the bills and still find time to cook, clean, and be the traditional African wife he expects me to be. Can you imagine that after all that he still cheats on me?

After I got sick and that hospital incident happened, I was getting ready to go to work when his message notification went off. I didn’t mean to snoop but the content of the message had me curious. I opened the chat and it was with a lady in Ghana. My husband had texted her, “I can’t wait for us to make love tonight.” She replied, “Where will your wife be?” He answered, “She will go to work.” I am a night shift worker so he was not wrong. 

When I saw the chat I was hurt but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t even attempt to confront him. I only frowned and put the phone down. That was it. This man saw the look on my face and started insulting me. Kuroase ni, was the first thing he said. “It is only uncivilized women who go into their husband’s phones.” He called me all sorts of degrading names. I didn’t talk. I just got ready for work and left the house for him. 

Things have gotten worse between us after that incident. I have put up with so much in the name of marriage but right now I am done. I have given this man everything I am and own and this is how he treats me. 

Every money I earned in the USA before he joined me, he found a way to take it from me. He was even suggesting we open a joint account next year but I was reluctant to do it. Knowing him, it would have resulted in another fight and a cold war if I had outrightly said no. The moment he tells me to do something and I don’t say yes, he must give me the silent treatment for as long as he pleases. Now that he has made it clear he does not care about my feelings, I am also done with the marriage.

Yes, finding out he is entertaining other women after all the sacrifices I made for him cut me deep. But what pained me most was the way he handled the situation. He could have even shed crocodile tears and pretended he was sorry for cheating. He could have apologized and sworn never to do it again even if it was all a lie. 

Anything he could have said to me would have been better than, “You are frowning because of this small thing but you haven’t seen anything yet. I am now about to do worse than what you saw.” How can a husband have such complete disregard for his wife’s feelings? This is the reason I no longer judge people who buy schnapps and eggs to curse those who wrong them. 

I am a Presbyterian. A very prayerful one at that. However, I have started looking into spiritual means to deal with this man. I want him to lose everything he thinks he has gained. He should work but he shouldn’t see any money. I have already cursed him that he will beg to eat but it’s not enough.

I know some men are polygamous by nature. They do their things on the side but they are still decent husbands. They provide for their families and do not rub their infidelities in their wives’ faces. But look at me. I am with a man who does not provide yet chooses to insult me when I catch him cheating. I am the one who was wronged but I didn’t even get a simple, “I am sorry.” 

READ ALSO: The First Thing He Did When He Got His Green Card Was Ask For A Divorce

I know he is doing all this because he has an American green card so he thinks he has arrived. God willing I will be visiting my mum in Ghana before the year ends. I am looking for recommendations for a powerful spiritualist. I want to take him to a spiritual court. Let the spirit beings judge our case and tell me if I did this man any wrong that is so bad that he should treat me inhumanely.

I haven’t told anyone in my family what is going on except my sister. She has advised me to let it go but I don’t want to. I also won’t legally leave the marriage for him to get the opportunity to marry someone else and collect $20,000 from the person. Let’s all stay in this sham of a marriage and live separate lives.

I Found Him In Church Cheating Instead Of Praying


When I fully recover from my illness, I will register with a gym and start working out. I will save money and buy myself a new car. I will live as a single woman while still legally married to him. Even if he files for a divorce, I won’t agree. 

These days when I cook, it’s for me and the kids. All the things I used to do as a wife, I have stopped. Even the bills, I don’t do the heavy lifting anymore. This is how we will do things going forward. I want nothing to do with him anymore. The marriage is over and he knows it. We are separated because a divorce will only enable him to make money with his green card. So we are all just living our individual lives while under the same roof. 

— Anette

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