I found Gina through a friend. I begged him to introduce us. When he was being hesitant I told him, “Just imagine going to hell because you stopped God’s plan for me. At the Pearl Gate, if God asks you why you prevented us from meeting, what will you tell him?”
He thought I was joking but when I persisted and disturbed his life for months, he finally agreed to give me her number.
The first day when I called Gina on the phone, she mentioned my name. “How did you know it’s me?” I asked. She answered, “He gave me your number. He said you were going to call me.”
The second call lasted longer until the day I realized she had become the only person I talked to on my phone. She didn’t make things hard for me. She didn’t play hard to get. She knew my mission in her life from the word go so the day I proposed, she said yes. I asked what she expected from me going forward and she told me to be myself.
I loved her so much I didn’t want to hide anything from her. From the way she opened up to me, it made me feel she was also not hiding anything until a year into the relationship.
I was setting her phone up for her when her friend texted; “Where are you now?” She was sleeping then so I responded to the text, pretending she was the one talking; “I’m at my guy’s place.” The next text that came said, “Which of them, Richmond?”
READ ALSO: She Never Accepted My Proposal Yet She Broke Up With Me
My heart missed a beat. I started feeling dizzy. “Who’s Richmond? Where does he come from and what is he doing in our relationship?”
I didn’t text back. Instead, I went through their chat to read more about who Richmond was. According to her girlfriend, Richmond came along when she was already with me. She decided to give him a chance to see which one of us would turn out better.
At one point, Gina wrote, “I’m confused. They are both great. I don’t even know who to choose and who to let go. It’s getting complicated by the day.” Her friend texted back, “Then choose the one who came first and pass the second one to me. I also need a good man. You alone can’t keep two for yourself.”
It took me days to be able to think straight. I was hurting. My heart was making squeaking sounds. It was getting ready to break. I called the mutual friend through whom I met Gina. I narrated everything to him. He told me, “Why don’t you talk to her about it?”
I wanted to, but I didn’t want to destroy my case with anger. After a week of thinking about it, I asked her, “Who’s Richmond?”
They say when people respect your feelings, they lie to you so you don’t get hurt. I thought that was what she was going to do. Lie to me at first so I probe further to squeeze the truth from her. She didn’t lie. The only question she asked was “How did you know about him?”
She told me about Richmond and how she met him a few months after she had said yes to me. She said, “I didn’t like him but he kept coming and kept proving he was a good guy so I decided to give him a chance.”
I said in my head, “Wow. She didn’t even lie about it.” My next question was, “So it means you’re sleeping with him too, right? Or there is more where this came from?” She answered, “That’s not the most important question. I’ve told you the truth. That’s the most important thing.”
I handed her phone to her and asked her to write a breakup message to Richmond right in front of me. She took the phone but didn’t do it. She asked me to give her some time to figure things out. That got me angry. I wanted to tell her I was leaving and see if that would get her to shiver but on second thought, I felt that would make things easier for her to choose Richmond so I decided to give her some time to see what happens.
One afternoon, I had a call from an unknown number. He said his name was Richmond and he wanted to have a conversation with me. I asked, “Richmond? Gina’s Richmond?” He answered, “Oh, you know about me?” We both burst out laughing.
Days later, we came face to face, sitting across from each other at a small dining table. Richmond is a good-looking guy. He spoke softly with a lot of confidence in his words. Looking at him made me feel Gina would be right to choose him over me. I made myself look small because he had something I felt I didn’t have.
He told me Gina was a good girl who had found herself in a situation we shouldn’t judge but rather help her. I asked what he intended doing and he told me, “I’ll leave because, from all indications, you’re the one she loves. I’m the one who planted the confusion and I’m sorry about that.”
I told him I wasn’t ready to stay either even if she chose me because I felt betrayed. We had an extensive conversation and by the time we realized, we were talking about football and our favourite football clubs. I left the conversation feeling better and knowing what I was going to do.
That same evening, Gina called to tell me it was over. I asked, “You’ve chosen Richmond?” She answered, “I called to break up with him a few minutes ago. I’m sorry about the way I treated you guys. I think I should be alone than go on with any of you.”
I didn’t want her to leave. I told her I would give her time to figure things out but she just wanted to leave. Later, Richmond sent me a screenshot of their breakup. I told him, “I can’t send you mine because I didn’t get a text. I got a call.” He apologized for coming between us and I told him I wouldn’t blame him.
Five months later, Gina is back asking if there’s still space in my life for her. She had done a lot of thinking and she thinks I’m the one she should settle for. She asked our mutual friend to tell me. She called later to ask for a meeting. When we met, she let it all out and also apologized for the past.
He Says He Can’t Date Me Because I’m Too Beautiful
She’s still the Gina I used to know. Nothing has changed. Still beautiful and graceful in the way she acts. My heart hasn’t forgotten about her. It’s my mind that’s being rational about the whole situation. My heart still pumps for her. Mind says “No, move on with your life. Choose someone else just as she did.” But sometimes, second chances are all you have to make things work. Should I say yes? Should I say no? Or I should call Richmond and tell him I’m the chosen one.
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—Aaron
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*****
If you love her and there’s no doubt in your mind and heart ,then give it just one more try.
If you still love her and you are sure you will not hold this incident against her then second chance it is otherwise move on
Aaron, I will suggest you move on and let her go elsewhere
cos it wont work and this time, the break up is going to be
explosive.
The most painful statement you will hear is ‘ I MADE A MISTAKE, I SHOULD’VE CHOSEN RICHMOND’.
Dont do it again!
Move on.
From man-to-man, you can never let yourself be disrespected this much. Move on bro. You are suffering from something called Oneisis, whereby you think only one girl (Gina) can make you happy. There are many women who can make you happy. Choose from them and one of these girls the one. In life, you will have many “ONES”. Gina wants to comeback to destroy any little confidence you have left in you. She is settling for you because you meet her bear minimums, but if better comes, like Richmond, she will not blink in choosing them over you. Why accept to always be the backup plan? Respect yourself and your ancestors. They did not die for you to be a simp.
Aaron, your tale of love, confusion, and forgiveness is like a story straight out of a romance novel, and you’re standing at a crossroads filled with choices.
Picture this, Aaron: a tranquil garden with winding paths and tall, swaying trees. You find yourself standing at the center of it all, the warm sunlight caressing your face, much like the light of your heart that Gina has rekindled. Before you, two different paths emerge, each leading to a unique destination.
Path of Second Chances: Gina, the woman who once stood at the crossroads of her own heart, now stands before you with a willingness to make amends. It’s clear that her sincere apology and the passage of time have brought forth a more thoughtful and introspective version of herself. You see her vulnerability, her beauty, and you remember the moments you shared. Choosing this path might just lead you to a love that’s more profound and resilient, having weathered the storms of the past.
Path of New Beginnings: Richmond, the other man at the crossroads, represents the fresh start that your mind is encouraging you to consider. He’s not just the one who created a temporary rift in your relationship but also someone who offered an olive branch and showed grace. The two of you connected over shared interests, and who knows, this path may lead to a unique friendship or even a newfound brotherhood.
As you stand in this garden of possibilities, you realize that your heart and mind need not be in opposition. They can coexist. You can accept Gina’s invitation to a second chance while also maintaining the new bond you’ve formed with Richmond, not as rivals but as individuals who share a unique connection through the circumstances you’ve navigated together.
In this tale of love and redemption, Aaron, the choice is ultimately yours. The path you take will shape your future, but remember that the garden is vast, and there may be more forks in the road ahead. What truly matters is that you approach your decision with an open heart, an open mind, and a spirit of forgiveness, for in the garden of life, second chances can sometimes be the most beautiful and enduring of all.
-Atieno-