Our second child is not normal. Right from birth, we have suffered to make him a normal child, but it hasn’t worked. We have become broke and desperate because all we have has gone into his care. Currently, he has cerebral palsy and is also blind. He is over one year old but can’t even sit or crawl, and he drools. Writing about this brings a lot of pain into my heart, but I have to.

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We are not rich or doing anything that brings a lot of money into our family. We are a young couple who fell in love and decided to have children, but this came upon us. My mother lives with us permanently because without her, we can’t move around or even go to work. Who will take care of this child?

Days before the New Year, my wife woke up at dawn crying. It wasn’t the first time she had done that. I lay quietly and listened to her sob for several minutes. I couldn’t even say it was all right because I was also sobbing inside. She said, “I’m tired. If we don’t do anything, we’ll die and he’ll live.”

I asked what we could do, and she said, “We should see him off.” There was dead silence in the room. I wasn’t shocked or hurt or scared. I felt nothing, because some dawns, I had woken up to check his breath, hoping he was gone. I asked her, “Who is going to do that?” She answered, “Won’t the hospital do it for us? We can talk to one of these doctors. They might have pity on us.”

We both sat on the bed, looking in his direction while thinking. In the morning, when I lifted him up, a rush of guilt engulfed me. I wanted to cry, but even tears wouldn’t come. I asked myself, “Can we do this forever? If he outlives us, who will be there to continue this struggle?”

I agree with my wife on all levels. My mom told me long ago when I went to her for a loan. My dad has given up on me because I didn’t listen to him when he suggested it. Some people in my family have thought about this for a long time but haven’t been able to voice it out, though their actions show it. They want it done, but they want it to come from us.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

“Thou shall not kill,” the Bible says, but is this child not already dead? We owe rent, we owe friends, we owe at work, and we owe our parents and siblings. Has he not already killed us? Hmmm.

—Brew

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