I have come to realise that in life, we sometimes fall in love with familiarity and Nii was no exception. I met him at work. He was our bus driver but right from the moment I met him, I knew he would come to mean more than a driver to me.
What drew me to him was his choice of music. The first morning he came to pick us up, he was playing gospel songs on his stereo. My kind of songs too. The next day too, it was the same. I even assumed that he liked that genre of music because he was probably a chorister. I drew that conclusion because I was looking for a good choir to join.
I also observed that on days he didn’t play music, he would listen to powerful sermons from great preachers. “This is soo me,” I said to myself one day. It was exactly my kind of vibe.
That first week, I only watched him from a distance. Although I liked him I was too shy to approach him. It was during the second week that I gathered the courage to ask him if he belonged to a choir. After his response, it was easier to initiate more conversations.
As the days went by, I found out that we had so much in common. Everything I liked, he also liked. It made him feel familiar to me. The kind of feeling that invoked warmth in the pit of my belly every time I thought of him. He was also daring like me, but his was further up the scale. For instance, what I will dare to do moderately, he would dare to do extremely.
Gradually, he took over my mind, even at work. I sat right behind him on the bus just to observe his mannerisms. I paid attention to his worldview and the kind of arguments he made concerning different issues. And I was always amazed when they aligned with mine. At some point, I developed a habit of wishing him a good day before getting off the bus when all my colleagues had already alighted.
When I realized I wanted to be more than his friend, I started throwing some signs his way. As a woman, I didn’t feel it was my place to confess my feelings to him. My best bet was that he would get the signal and make a move if he was also interested in me.
I often texted him. In the texts, I made sure to tell him I cared deeply about him. “If you ever need anything I am here for you,” I would tell him. This was my way of letting him know that he meant a lot to me. One day, I was fortunate enough to get some free movie tickets. So I invited him to join me and he did. We got closer after that day but I was still not happy because I wanted more than friendship from him.
When my emotions overwhelmed me, I confided in a colleague at work and he asked me to shoot my shot. “I’m a woman for crying out loud. What will a man think of me if I throw myself at him?” I asked my colleague. “Ah, but you are the one suffering emotionally. Find a way to let him know so you can build a future with him or walk away from him before you get hurt,” my colleague advised.
It made a lot of sense to me but I was still beating about the bush every time I tried to talk to Nii about what I wanted from him. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. So I chose to wait for him.
One morning after picking up my colleagues and me, Nii made a detour to pick up a senior colleague. She is in a higher position than I am. When she entered the bus, I could see she did not approve of my sitting position. I wasn’t wrong. First, she sat beside me but later moved to the back seat.
When we arrived at work and we were about to get off the bus, she walked to Nii and leaned toward him. As to whether she whispered in his ear or planted a kiss on his cheek, I didn’t see it. All I knew was that she marked her territory.
That morning I was shattered. I couldn’t concentrate at my desk. I went back to my colleague to let him know what happened. “Well, now that you know he is taken do something about your feelings before you get hurt,” he said. When he realized how badly this whole thing affected me he threw his hands up and joked, “I think I have to resign and become a driver. The way you girls are falling for Nii, I will stand a better chance at love if I become a bus driver too.” This cracked me up and had me hurrying off to my desk.
That night I lay in bed and gathered the courage to send Nii a text message. It read, “It hurts to know that you may never be mine. All the same, I will continue to show you that I care. All I need is a little time to train my mind to see you as a friend.” My pillow was soaked in my tears after I hit send.
I couldn’t tell anyone how I felt so I comforted myself in the knowledge that there were better days ahead. Later, he responded to my message saying, “I know it is difficult and I really appreciate and respect your care toward me. But would you want to join the bus on an earlier shift?” I declined the offer to join the bus earlier than usual and assured him that I was beginning to get the closure I needed. I also let him understand how much it meant to me that he handled my feelings with maturity.
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It was hard but I had to let him go because I loved him too much to try and force myself into his life. If he is truly mine, we will be together one day. I don’t have to force anything. However, if God has another plan for him, then I pray he flourishes with the woman he has to be with.
Shortly after that scene with the other lady, schedules were changed at the office and he was assigned to pick another group of staff to work. Time and distance have come between us but we remain friends who communicate once in a while.
— Afiyo
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