If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

Someone told me, “You’re the man of the house so act like one. Why would you allow your wife to boss you around?” I said, “I’m the man of the house, yes. Being a man doesn’t mean you should bulldoze things down and destroy what ought to stand. I need to solve the problem without breaking my marriage. That’s what being a man means to me.”

The truth is, I thought of it before I heard it from people. When she didn’t believe me and later formed an alliance with her sister, a lot of bad thoughts flashed through my head; “She doesn’t believe so maybe I should go ahead and sleep with her sister. When she finds out, it’s her fault. I sounded the alarm and she called it a hoax, so what can she do when she finds out that it’s true?” I also thought of starting a fight where I will end up throwing the belongings of her sister out. I convinced myself, “If she tries to fight back, I will add her things to it and push both of them out.”

But the question was, “And then what?”

Our relationship took time to grow. I was the reason a lot of things got delayed but my wife was there for me through it all. When I didn’t have a job and was going through hard times, she threw a lot of favors my way. We were not married then but she became my mom’s favorite. She visited me often with gifts for my mother. She had paid my rent before and had fought alongside me to pull me out of the valley of death. Those moments are hard to forget and it’s through those moments that we grew to become equal partners. I didn’t see her as someone I’m higher than just because I’m the man. She had a voice and I had mine. We decided to join our voices to nurture the marriage. It’s the reason she could stand against my decisions. It’s the reason she could fight back though she was on the wrong side this time.

When the family is involved, you tread cautiously so you don’t set bad precedence that would later go against your own family so instead of fighting back, I decided to join them to be able to get what I was looking for; peace.

I started with my wife, “Maybe I didn’t handle it the best way I should but it shouldn’t bring the peace we have in this house to a standstill. I understand you love your sister. I’m not trying to push her out in any way. I was only trying to bring your attention to what I thought was wrong. I got it wrong. Let’s not fight over this and mess up this place. Forgive and forget.” She started coming around afterward. It was slow at first but I saw it from her subtle smiles and I saw it from her closeness to me when we slept at night. She started cooking for me. She started sitting next to me again in the hall while watching TV. We started having a hearty conversation all over again. I got my wife back.

Time to switch my attention to her junior sister.

I texted her a message while I was at work one day; “You remember what you told me the other time? That it’s not good for us to be in the same house and not talk to each other, you remember?” She responded, “I meant it but it is you who is bent on driving me out of this house.” I responded, “I’m sorry. I overreacted. I will make it up to you. Let’s get talking again.” She said, “Unless you pacify me?” I answered, “With what?” She said, “I need money. A girl needs money every day. Show me something.”

I sent her GHC200 right there. She responded, “Now you’re talking.”

Surprisingly, she didn’t engage me when her sister was around. I would try every move just to draw her into our conversations and this girl will avoid me. One evening I sent her a text, “Why are you doing that?” She said, “If my sister sees that I’m being free with you, she’ll begin to suspect something. I don’t want trouble. I know my sister, she can be very sneaky sometimes.” I said, “So you mean we can’t talk? She answered, “When she’s not around, fine but when she’s around, we can chat.”

When this girl needs money from me, she’ll employ all tactics to get my attention. She‘ll send me voice notes, and text messages even when we are all sitting in the hall. One day I asked her, “Why don’t you get a boyfriend who will give you what you need?” She asked, “Am I being overdemanding?” I answered, “No. Not that but I feel a boyfriend would be better. You’re old enough to get a boyfriend so what stops you?” She said, “You’re here so that’s ok. Unless you want to tell me that you’ll never give me anything again.”

Whenever we chatted, I did my best to drag the conversation so I can get enough information from her. One afternoon, she called me on a video call. She was wearing that see-through verse she wore the first time she entered our bedroom. She said, “I’m planning to go back home to visit my parents, I need money to buy one or two things. Will you help?” I asked when she wanted to go and she said as soon as she gets the money she would go. I sent her the money and true to her words, she left as soon as she could.

At long last, I was alone with my wife. One evening, I opened our chat and gave it to her to read.  I left her and went to sleep. After reading the messages she rushed into the bedroom. “When did this happen? Where was I?” I said, “The messages came with timestamps. You can check from there. And oh, let me show you one more thing…”

I showed her a screen recording of our Whatsapp video call. I said, “This happened a few days ago.”

She would look at my face and then look on the screen with her mouth shaped into an O form.  I asked, “You believe me now? I never hated her. I didn’t want her to be here at first, yes but once she was here, that was it. I never hated her but you won’t listen to me. She threw my phone at me and went back to the hall. I heard her talking on the phone with her mother. She screamed, “Where’s that girl that she’s not picking up my calls?” I didn’t hear the answer but what I heard her say again was, “Tell her to call me when she comes back.” That call never came.

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We woke up the next morning and went to work. In the evening she told me, “That girl is never coming back here again. I’ve already packed her things. I will send it over to her.” I could see she was shocked and angry at the same time. I said, “Be patient with her. She’s only twenty-three. She doesn’t know what she’s doing.” She screamed, “A girl who can wear such a dress and be on a video with my husband doesn’t know what she’s doing? What are you trying to tell me? Please, I’m already angry. Don’t make things worse.”

She never came back again. Her mother called to apologize to me and asked me to forgive her. “She’s just a child who is allowing the devil to use her. Thanks to God that he spoke to you. It would have been worse.”

We’ve been alone since she left. My wife got pregnant just a month after her sister was gone. We have a little baby now. Life is not perfect but it’s better alone than to be in the midst of chaos.

I’m thankful to that girl who gave me this idea when I shared my story a year ago. Her comment helped me. She sounded like she was joking when she wrote it but it’s the only suggestion I decided to employ. It helped. It solved my problem and it’s the reason I got my wife back and also got a baby as a bonus.

—Julian

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