Sometimes Love Does Not Conquer All

Ahmed came into my life when I was in SHS 2. It was when I was on my way home from one of our school breaks. He stopped me to talk to me and I gave him my attention. He was pretty so I agreed to be his friend. My parents are not the kind to allow me to have male friends. So no matter what happened, I never brought Ahmed anywhere near my family.

A year into our friendship he asked me to be his girlfriend. Truth be told, I didn’t love him. I didn’t even have a little crush on him. And I thought he was just joking so I said yes to him as a joke too. In my mind, our relationship won’t even last. “We will probably try it for two weeks and get tired of each other,” I convinced myself. However, two weeks passed and we were still going strong.

Ahmed was an SHS leaver who had no interest in pursuing higher education. All he wanted to do was work in his father’s company and make money. I would tell him, “You can go back to school and return to work for your father when you graduate. Please think about it.” He’d just shrug and ask, “What’s the point then? I would rather save the money and time I would spend chasing a degree.” He was much older than me so at some point I stopped pushing him. I figured he knew what he was doing.

After I completed SHS, I left town. I thought the distance would finally be our undoing but again, I was wrong. Ahmed’s love for me was stronger than time and space. I believe if there were versions of us in an alternate universe, he would still love me in that universe. Thanks to technology, we stayed connected. We talked every day. And I realized that our bond grew stronger every time we talked.

A year after I completed school I gained admission to a nursing training school. Ahmed had no interest in going back to school but he was super supportive of me when I continued my education. His friends tried to talk him out of our relationship. They argued that I would leave him for a well-educated man after I finished school. Oh, they tried really hard but his heart was set on me. “So what if you leave me in the future? Today you are with me, and that’s what matters. I am going to make the best of loving you while we are still together. Tomorrow will sort out itself,” he said.

Ahmed’s optimism about love and life, among other things has helped shaped my life. I learned lessons from him that I didn’t even know he was teaching me. Nobody knows how to sacrifice for love like Ahmed. He would set himself on fire to keep me warm if it came to it. That’s just who he is.

By the time we were three years into the relationship, I realized that I was in love with him. I think I had always been in love with him but I just didn’t know it. It was when the realization of my love for him dawned on me that the fear of losing him kicked in.

Although our love for each other was a force of nature, there were stronger forces at play in our story. You see, Ahmed is a Muslim while I am a Christian. No matter how strong a person’s love is, their devotion to their religion is always stronger. I knew it would almost be impossible for us to end up together. But Ahmed had hope that it could work.

He assured me, “My family is not very uptight. They won’t stop me from marrying you.” He wasn’t lying. His uncle was married to a Christian. So the problem was with my family. They will never give me their blessings to marry a Muslim. I explained this to him and he offered to convert. He tried to do it but I realized his heart was not in it. He just wanted to do it for me. I couldn’t have that so I asked him to stop. “I love you, Ahmed. And I know you love me too. I don’t need you to change your religion to prove it. Just be your true self and let’s leave the rest to fate.”

READ ALSO: A Mother’s Love Is Forever

People who knew about our relationship advised me against marrying him. I weighed a lot of things for myself but I was confused. While I was yet to decide on what to do, Ahmed’s brother came to visit me at home. It was Sala time (Eid al-Adha) so he brought me meat. That was the day my father found out I was dating a Muslim. He didn’t even let a day pass before he started warning me against marrying Ahmed. “No child of mine will marry outside the Christian faith, so you better end that relationship.” I was sad at the finality of his statement.

I told Ahmed about my father’s warning and he was sad too. He wanted to bring his people to see my parents but his father advised him against it. We didn’t know where to go from there. We loved each other too much to break up, but there was no point in staying together if we weren’t going to get married. In the end, the relationship was left hanging. I tried to move on but I couldn’t. I got close to a couple of guys but none of them were Ahmed. They didn’t have what it took to love me like he did.

In The End, I Had To Choose Between Three Men | Beads Media

Ahmed and I finally broke up six months before I completed nursing school. While I was in school, I introduced a Muslim friend of mine to Ahmed’s brother and they are together. I am happy for them and I wish them well. As for Ahmed and I, we try to be friends. Neither of us is married. I found myself a good Christian man and he has also found a devout Muslim woman.

I don’t know what the future holds but whatever happens, it won’t be the life we want. All we wanted to do was to grow old loving each other, but religion has wedged us apart. Five years of love and happiness have been thrown in the trash because of our differences in worship. I hate it but what can I do? I just hope that we will find happiness with whomever we settle down with.

#MyFirstRelationship