I remember vividly the night I met him. I was suffering an abdominal pain that made me welcome the notion of death. We did our best to manage it at home, but by 9PM, my parents had to rush me to the emergency unit of the nearest hospital.

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One male nurse attended to me with a swiftness that public hospital nurses are not usually known for. It was the gentleness in his care that caught my attention.

He didn’t talk much but I got a strong impression that he was a man who loved his job. After making sure I was stable, he moved on to help his colleagues who were trying to save an accident victim.

Around 2 a.m., I realised all the other nurses had gone to sleep in one of the rooms. All except him. He stayed in the ward. Quietly moving between patients and occasionally typing something on a desktop computer. That was when I saw him beyond a nurse. I saw a man who stirred up something in me.

At first, I watched him out of curiosity. But the longer I watched him, the more I felt something in my heart. You know that thing hearts do when you’ve just come out of a breakup and someone new enters the frame? It beats erratically.

I was even scared. I didn’t think I was out there looking for someone new because my ex, Mike, had just broken up with me. I was raw, but my reaction to the nurse made me believe I was open to trying the whole love thing again after all.

When the doctor came in for rounds with both the night and morning nurses. He looked at the nurse who attended to me and joked, “So Daniel, when are you getting married? Do you even have a girlfriend, or you’re planning to become a Catholic priest?” Everyone burst out laughing. Daniel just smiled and shook his head.

“His name is Daniel,” I thought with the giddiness of a teenage girl who just learned the name of her crush. I almost smiled when the rest of the joke registered in my mind. “He is not married. He doesn’t have a girlfriend. This means I have a chance with him,” I almost screamed. I should state that I was feeling much better at this point.

So as he stepped out to head home, I followed him. My heart was pounding in my chest did not deter me from pulling out my phone and saying, “Please, can I have your number?” He smiled shyly and gave it to me, no questions asked.

We started talking when I left the hospital. Soon enough, we were dating. Then we decided to get married.

Yes, I understand how rushed it seems, but trust me, the road was not smooth.

Daniel is a principled man. We had agreed to no intimacy before marriage. But along the line, my desire overtook my resolve. I tried to sleep with this guy twice and failed. Both times he gently reminded me, “We promised God to keep ourselves till marriage, remember?”

I had never met a man in my entire life who was not eager to get into my pants. So his behavior confused me. I started wondering if he was even attracted to me.

Then came my birthday. He bought me a Bible and three books about marriage. Honestly, I wasn’t impressed. No cake? No card? No flowers? Just books? I remember staring at the books thinking, “Wow. This guy is still living in the olden days. Am I supposed to eat the books, or what?”

After that day, I started seeing him differently. I looked at all the ways I believed we were not compatible. He is quiet. Indoor type. Bookish. A little too frugal for my liking. He only gave me money when I asked. I was unemployed after national service. I expected him to anticipate my needs and provide without me having to ask, you know.

With everything going on in my mind, I was ready to meet someone new.

It didn’t take long before Ernest came along. He was like a strong wind that swept me off my feet. I admired his confidence.

Unlike Daniel, Ernest had a car, a house, and a job that paid him well enough to afford his lifestyle. He was everything I didn’t think I deserved.

He wasn’t the boring indoor type. He took me out often. Bought me things. Gave me money without me even asking. He even taught me how to drive. With him, I felt pampered and desired in a way that made me feel alive.

So I left Daniel.

However, my parents were not happy when I told them about Ernest. From the way they looked at me, I could tell they weren’t happy.

I tried to make them understand why I believed Ernest was the better choice. They didn’t say much. My dad just went inside and returned with the same Bible and marriage books Daniel gave me. He placed them gently on the table and said, “With these, what more evidence do you need that Daniel is the one? He’s not just a man—he’s a husband.”

I kept seeing Ernest anyway. Lied to my parents that I left him and that Daniel was back in the picture.

In less than three weeks, I found out I wasn’t the only woman in Ernest’s life. That discovery jolted me back to reality. What was I even thinking in the first place? I was so hurt that I walked out of his house and out of that illusion for good.

I couldn’t stop crying when I got home. Imagine leaving your man for another man only to discover that the new man was just playing you. I cried all my tears that day.

Then the next morning, I got up and went to see Daniel. I didn’t know if he was seeing someone else. I didn’t know if he’d shut the door in my face. But I took a chance.

I knelt down in front of him and apologised. He looked at me, really looked at me, then pulled me up and said, “It’s okay. All is forgiven.”

And just like that, we began again.

This time, I started preparing for marriage like my life depended on it. I read his books and other ones on marriage. When I was sure that I was ready, I told him, “It’s time. Let’s do it.”

After our wedding, Daniel helped me land a government job. We’ve been married for almost four years now. We’ve even built businesses together.

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And you know what? I finally get it.

Sometimes all a responsible man really needs is respect and support. That’s it. He doesn’t need to be flashy or loud or overly generous to prove his worth. He just needs to be present. Faithful. Steady.

I Was Fine Until I Was Alone In My Room

Now, people come to me for marriage advice. Crazy, right? Me, the same girl who once thought a man who didn’t give me cake on my birthday was stuck in the Stone Age. Who would have thought someone like me would become a marriage counsellor?

But here I am. Living proof that love isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it’s quiet, patient, and right in front of you in hospital scrubs.

—Sandra

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