I have been a follower of this page for a while, and I have always wanted to share my story but I never had the courage to do so until now. One woman’s story inspired me to step out. She talked about all the abuse she faced in her past before she found a man who treated her right and showed her genuine love. Although I have never been abused, I too have suffered in the hands of men. I believe my experiences can even be termed as emotional abuse. That’s if we are using labels here.

I know relationships are not entirely bad. Some women accept to give a man a chance, and they never regret it. Just one attempt at love and they find their happily ever after. That was what I believed my love story would be. I was sure that if I was diligent enough, I would meet Mr. Right as my first love. He goal was to make sure I don’t go through a long list of exes before I finally settle down.

While I was making these plans, it didn’t occur to me that men are not like beans. You can’t gather them in a tray and pick out the bad ones by just looking at them. I use the phrase “looking at them” loosely here. What I am trying to say is, you can never know someone enough.

For someone who set out not to leave a trail of exes in my wake, I happen to have a few. How did it end with them? I wanted to be loved but they made me feel I was asking for the impossible. “Why didn’t you text me back?” I often found myself asking. The response all these men always gave me was, “I am busy. I have a lot going on.” How is it that every man I ever dated was too busy to talk to me?

Men say they like peaceful women. Peace is my middle name. I don’t instigate fights or get quarrelsome just because I am in a bad mood. I am also not the type to cheat or entertain other men. When it comes to respect, I respect everyone the way I expect to be respected. My most recent relationship for instance, I gave all my heart to this guy. All I wanted in return was for him to have time for me and treat me the way he would want his sister to be treated by her partner.

What Pat actually gave me was unanswered calls, unreturned calls, blue ticks, and anthems like, “I am busy, let me call you back.” Despite the fact that my emotional needs in the relationship were not met, I didn’t leave. I was tired of bouncing from heartbreak to heartbreak.

I was tired of putting in so much work to heal, only to meet someone new who would tell me, “You are a good person. Your ex shouldn’t have broken your heart the way he did. Give me a chance to show you I can do better.” I would give them a chance and they would show me other ways I could have my heart broken. It appears some of us like the Israelites would have to pass through many Pharaohs before our Moses comes to our rescue.

Pat behaved like a Pharaoh but I held out hope that if I was patient with him, he would become a Moses. That’s why I stayed. We had our problems but he was always quick to assure me he loved me. I believed it. I needed it to be true, I guess. Otherwise, what was the point of it all?

READ ALSO: I Married A Man Who Was Already Married To His Mother

Yesterday, when I went to bed I was sure that although my boyfriend didn’t have time for me, he loved me. This morning I woke up to the harsh reality that I have been living in a fool’s paradise all along. All the “I love yous” he said were lies. He said he didn’t love me anymore. He had been sticking around, hoping to rekindle the love but it wasn’t working. He couldn’t tell me what exactly I did to kill his love. It just disappeared.

I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It

It’s not easy for me to go through the same ordeal time after time. My only sin is that I love too much. What pains me about all this is that, if they fall out of love they don’t tell me immediately. They torture me emotionally by giving silent treatment while assuring me of their undying love. Then one day, I get dumped over a text message. Is that how you treat someone you once loved?

Why do people do this? Why can’t you just come out and tell the truth about your feelings, but rather you just ignore the other person in the relationship as if they never meant anything to you? I pray I don’t experience this kind of pain again. I pray that someday, I also get to experience the beauty of love in a relationship where I wouldn’t have to force things. To everyone going through heartbreak just by being a good person and loving right, don’t lose hope. Someday, our clouds will lift and we will experience the wonderful rays of true love.

—Peace

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