My elder sister is HIV-positive. This is not something we don’t know about as her family. We’ve been her support system right from the moment she shared the news with us. She was pregnant at the time the diagnosis was made. We were all scared out of our minds but with the help of medication, she had a healthy baby who tested negative.
Luckily, her then-husband did not get infected as well. That’s not the reason he is no longer her husband though.
When he found out about the illness he stood by her. There was no talk of divorce from his end. However, he was abusive. One day this man beat my sister black and blue. She nearly lost her life. It was at this point she chose her life and peace of mind over their marriage. She walked away without looking back.
Everyone in the family supported her decision. In fact, we were so proud of her for taking the bold step to walk away from her abuser. Not many victims of domestic violence make the choice to leave to live. So it meant everything to us that our sister did.
After the divorce, she continued taking her medication and reached the undetectable stage. It was good for her and her health. As always we were by her side encouraging her.
Everything was going well until my sister joined a renowned church in the country. The church is known for performing miracles and healing illnesses using Sobolo which they call Yesu Mogya (blood of Jesus). They also have other alternative remedies like Grace oil, Grace powder, Grace water, and Grace Cream among others.
Somehow, my sister decided she would no longer take the medications prescribed by her doctors. She started taking these alternative treatments from her church. We advised her against it but she wouldn’t listen. “If you insist on taking these untested treatments, then at least take your prescription pills alongside it,” we implored. She still refused to listen to us.
Along the line, she met another man. My sister accepted his proposal without hesitation. The entire time they were together she didn’t tell us about him. It was when she got pregnant with her second child that we found out she had a man.
During her antenatal visit, test results showed her viral load had spiked. It became even more serious than it was when she was first diagnosed. You would think that news like this would alarm her enough to start taking her medication again but no. She has still refused.
In all this, my concern is the man she is dating. He seems like a good man. I have seen the way he is with her and her child. He’s kind, loving, and a wonderful father to the child. He takes great care of both of them. All the times I have seen them together, he treated my sister with utmost respect.
I don’t think a man like him deserves to have his health at risk. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not jealous that she has someone who loves her. I’m happily married with two kids so I understand what it means to have someone in your corner. My problem is with the fact that this man doesn’t know my sister’s status.
Of course, I strongly believe that people living with HIV deserve love and happiness. But what I cannot support is my sister hiding such an important part of her life from her partner. This is something that could put his health at risk too.
READ ALSO: I Tried To Hide My Third Pregnancy From God After Losing Two Pregnancies
I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be happy if it was my brother in this man’s shoes. I would want him to know the truth right from the beginning so he would decide for himself how to proceed with things. I wouldn’t want him to walk into the relationship blindly.
This is why I believe my sister’s boyfriend deserves the truth.
I love my sister dearly but I wish I could find a way to tell this man the truth without betraying her trust.
My Mom Doesn’t Care How I Make The Money I Send To Her
What do I do? Should I wait until she gives birth before addressing this? Or should I find a way to leave subtle clues for the man to discover the truth for himself? Or maybe, I should stay out of it completely and let the chips fall where they may?
I am disturbed and confused at the same time. I don’t want him to realize the truth when it’s too late. What do you advise I do?
— Grace
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You can send him the text with a new sim card as an anonymous person. As for your sister she is not a serious person. She should stand there and do stupid things it would cost her dearly. She is also being selfish endangering her unborn child and the man as well. What sort of ignorance and stupidity is this. If she wants to die then so be it. Asemoo.
Please, stay out of it. It is not in your place to disclose it to him. For all you know, your sister might have told him already. The best you can do is to talk to your sister and not to her boyfriend. Thank you
You cannot predict how the man, or even your sister, will react if you take this step so it’s best to stay out of it or you’ll regret badly later. This is serious business.
By law, healthcare workers certified to break the news of HIV instead can tell the man even against your sister’s will. You can go to a public health unit of the hospital in which she attends her antenatal and talk to the head of that unit. He or she can help you deal with this.
My first question to you is this, What makes you think your sister didn’t open up to him bout her status? Did you also know that telling the man is not the issue here now, it is the person who delivers the bad news that’ll bear the brunt. Your sister is not serious, she’s putting 2 lives in danger(Her new man and unborn baby) including hers. She’s being selfish and acting stupid too. I have a cousin an older cousin who’s close to 50yrs old. A full gown woman who doesn’t use deodorants all in the name of Christianity. If you trying to put some nice expensive or cheap perfume on clothes close to where she is, she’s gonna fuss. Who does that? She always smell funky and awful most of the time. So think bout it before you tell the man. If you wanna do it, either do it with a diff sim-card or go through someone anonymous
Save an innocent man 🙏🏾. You know your sister well to know she’s hiding her status from the man so kindly save him. He doesn’t deserve this.
If the man doesn’t know about her status it’s bad, like someone said try using a health care practitioner to convey d message