Mavis and I were mates in school. That’s how we became friends. Our friendship was not that tight but we liked each other. So despite the changing scenes of life after we left school, we didn’t lose touch with each other. The dynamics were not the same though. Unlike on campus where we saw and interacted with each other every day, this time there was a lot of distance and space between us.
However, whenever we talked it was like old times. We didn’t talk much about our personal lives but we traded gossip. We talked about job opportunities and work stress. Then occasionally, we gave updates on new happenings in our lives.
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One day Mavis called me sounding a little serious and excited at the same time. It confused me but I allowed her to finally get to her point. That’s how she is. Sometimes she would ramble on and on in an attempt to give background information before she finally talks about the main issue. So I patiently waited for her to get there.
When she finally got to her point she said, “So long story short, there is an opening at my husband’s workplace. The moment he told me about the role, I knew you would be perfect for it.”
I was excited to hear this but I was also anxious. Everything about the job aligned with what I was looking for. But I couldn’t help but ask myself, “What if I get my hopes up and I don’t get the job.” Anyone who has had to struggle through a series of interviews but didn’t get the job in the end would understand my worries.
Regardless, I was grateful she shared the information. I told her, “I will apply and hope I get it.”
“Yes, you have to apply. I know you will get it,” she said with the certainty of someone who would ensure I got the job. This gave me hope.
As discussed, I applied for the job and passed through a series of interviews. It wasn’t as much of a hustle as I feared it would be. And as she said, it was a role I could execute efficiently. However, I wasn’t the only person they interviewed. The other people also seemed like they knew what they were about. So it was literally the survival of the fittest.
While I prayed for divine selection, I also hoped Mavis’ husband would pull some strings for me. It didn’t take long before I heard from the hiring manager. I got the job.
While Mavis and I were celebrating the news she said, “Oh, I am so happy that my husband put in a good word for you.” For this reason, I feel indebted to Mavis as well as her husband.
Although Mavis doesn’t work in the same town we all live in, she drives home every weekend to be with her family. I thought this arrangement was working for them until I started working with her husband. All of a sudden, I am getting access to information about their marriage that I wish I didn’t have.
The knowledge I have has become a burden to me. And Mavis and Nii have put me in a difficult situation when it comes to what I should do with the information.
Nii is seeing a lady who works at the same place as us. I didn’t know until the lady became my friend. Even with that, I only suspected them because of Nii’s behaviour. The moment he saw that I was close to the lady, he started making it look like we were a trio of friends who did everything together.
He would find ways to include me in their outings. That way when Mavis called and I was with them, she wouldn’t get suspicious of him. Nonetheless, the things they did and said to each other during these “hangouts” had me connecting the dots. Eventually, they even stopped trying to pretend around me.
I told myself, “They are adults. Whatever they do is none of my business.” Then I started giving them space. Every time he tried to include me in their plans, I gave him an excuse.
The sad thing is, last year was Nii’s turn to host the end-of-year dinner for the office and guess what? The lady was there. I kept asking myself how she was so comfortable being in the same space with Nii and his wife without getting jealous.
Well, they say nothing stays hidden for long. It has gotten to a point where Mavis suspects her husband is dating the lady. She keeps asking me to tell her what is going on between them. All the times she asked, I couldn’t confirm or deny their relationship to her.
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I have spoken at length with Nii to leave the lady but he says he can’t leave her. It appears he is in love with her. The lady is equally not ready to quit the relationship.
This doesn’t help my friendship with Mavis because she keeps calling me whenever she gets suspicious of them. She wants answers I don’t have the heart to give her. Telling her means I’m betraying her husband’s trust in me, but not telling her means I’m betraying her. What do I do?
—Carol
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You must tell her but not without concrete evidence. She might believe you or might not. Be prepared for a shift in your friendship. All in all if she distances herself from you respect her wish. It’s good you are distancing yourself from your friend’s husband. He just wants you to be his cover when he is with the other woman. He is looking for an accomplice.
You know nothing, youve heard nothing, youve seen nothing
Please mind your business o. You should never have gotten involved in this matter. The same way Mavis is suspecting is the same way you should have been suspecting too. Don’t try to confirm anything. Don’t advise anyone. As Georgia said, you know nothing, you’ve seen nothing, you’ve heard nothing. If Mavis wants to find out if her husband is cheating, she can do it without involving you.