I experienced my first heartbreak in 2019. I had just completed high school and was getting ready to go to the university. My then boyfriend, Ab had been trying to get us to have intimacy for the duration of our relationship but I wasn’t ready to do it. However, this guy was relentless. “I am a man,” he would say, “I have needs.” I would tell him to wait till I felt ready and he would act so disappointed.

The back and forth continued until I eventually gave in. I still didn’t feel ready at the time but I did it just to make him happy. Whenever he was in the mood, he would call me and we would make arrangements. Soon enough, I started to get into it. It no longer became a thing I did for his sake but something we both liked. I was so sure that we would end up spending the rest of our lives together so I let myself completely go.

 

I didn’t hold anything back because I believed he was also all in. Then one day this guy told me, “I feel guilty about the things we do in this relationship so I want to stop.” Out of confusion, I asked him, “We do a lot of things in this relationship. Which ones specifically are you talking about?” He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I don’t feel right about fornicating. So I want to be celibate from now on.” I couldn’t believe what I had heard. I half expected him to tell me he was joking but he wasn’t.

I was surprised that a guy who put so much pressure on me to give him shuperu, after getting it had all of a sudden decided he wanted to be celibate. And no matter what I said, he refused to bend the rules of his newfound celibacy. This was what broke my heart.

I tried to stay in the relationship when I got to the university but I was always so upset when I remembered how he pestered me to give myself to him only to turn around and tell me he was feeling guilty. I didn’t want to be with him while I harboured that resentment so I broke up with him over a minor misunderstanding. It felt like the healthy thing to do even though it broke my heart into a million shards. I was in my second semester at the time.

After the breakup, Ab kept tabs on me. Whenever I went home he tried to talk to me but I always ignored him. Sometimes he would send me messages detailing my activities on campus. I read them but did not engage him. We even ran into each other at a wedding. When he tried to talk to me, I ignored him.

Not only was I wary of him, but I was skeptical of other men as well. When someone tried to talk to me, I would pick apart everything they said until I talked myself out of dating them. That’s how I went through the rest of my time in school without entering another relationship.

It was after school that I decided to give Philip a chance. He seemed different from the others I had met. So the connection between us flowed seamlessly. Things looked good but I was not in a hurry to rush the process. Even when we started dating, I still wanted us to take things slowly.

Two months into the relationship, he started asking for shuperu. I felt I didn’t know him enough so I refused to give in. I told him we should wait for a while and he seemed to agree. One day I went to visit this guy and he got forceful. I tried to fight him off and he said, “Let me put it between your thighs and at the tip. I won’t go all the way in. I just want to cum.” Well, I thought it was harmless so I agreed.

READ ALSO: When I Needed Someone To Give Me A Sanitary Pad, I Called My Ex

I honestly don’t remember him going inside me. I was so sure of this so even when I missed my period that month, I didn’t suspect pregnancy. The second month I missed my period I thought I had a problem with my cycle until people started asking if I was okay. They said I didn’t look well. That was when I went to the hospital and discovered that I was pregnant.

I am not financially stable to begin with. The guy in question was also not someone I knew well enough to have his baby. Besides, he started ignoring me after that we had that encounter. So I spoke to the health care providers at the hospital and they helped me take care of it.

I’m Dating Him And His Mother | STORY BOARD

I want to believe the pain of that experience drove me to seek comfort in Ab’s waiting arms. I was living alone and didn’t have friends to talk to. That’s why he was a comfortable choice. I felt he was the devil I already knew. I didn’t tell him everything that happened with Philip but he knew I was not in a good place.

Months after I welcomed him back into my life, I find myself pregnant with his children. Yes, the scan says the babies are twins. I am still not financially stable but I don’t want to get rid of them. I am yet to break the news to him or anyone else in my life for that matter. Not even my parents. This is because I am wondering if keeping it is the right thing to do. This is where I need you to weigh in. Is it wise to keep the pregnancy just because they are twins considering we are both not financially stable?

—Gigi

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB