When I first met Ken in 2020, we didn’t talk much. Once in a while, he would text me to check up on me. Then he would go off for a while. I didn’t think much of him until he proposed love to me one day. It just came out of nowhere. I remember telling him, “Give me some time to think about it.”

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

We spoke consistently after that. I liked how easily our conversations flowed. I figured I could build something with him. Besides, he didn’t live in the country. We could take things slowly and get to know each other better. With this in mind, I said yes to him three weeks after his proposal.

A few days into the relationship, he asked me for a photo. “Send something sexy. I want to look at you when I am taking care of myself.” I told him I was uncomfortable sending him my nudes. He showed me it wasn’t a big deal by sending me his.

The next thing he asked me for was my money. No, he didn’t ask me to send him money directly but he might as well have. He gave me a list of items to buy and ship for him. When I asked him for money, he said, “Use your money. I will pay you back later.”

He couldn’t see me but I shook my head before telling him, “You’ve never given me money so you shouldn’t be asking me for money.” He never asked me for anything after that.

For about six months, we spoke on the phone every single night. Due to the time difference, I was the one who ended up sacrificing my sleep to talk to him. It got to a point when it no longer worked for me. Sleep deprivation was causing me health issues.

One day I told him, “If we are going to talk every day then you have to make some sacrifices too. I can’t be the only one who stays up late to talk to you. It’s affecting my health.”

Instead of coming to a compromise, he complained bitterly. I also refused to budge.

His actions made me believe he didn’t really love me. He was indifferent about every aspect of my life. All he wanted was for me to make time for him. Even when I went out with friends, whether men or women, he didn’t ask about them. He never displayed signs of jealousy or fear that he could lose me. I asked him about it and he said, “It’s because I trust you.” I said okay.

Along the line, we planned for him to come back to Ghana for us to have a court wedding. Due to my age, we agreed that he would impregnate me before leaving. He even promised to send money so I could buy a promise ring to wear, but I told him, “There is no way I am going to put a ring on my own finger.”

He didn’t drag it with me because at this point he knew I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to do.

There was a susu group I introduced him to. He sent money into it every month. Initially, we agreed that that’s the money he would use when he finally came home.

Well, he came home this April. He rushed to my place and made big promises. He talked grand about how much he wanted to wife me. Then he went home to his family and barely spoke to me.

I tried several times to stay in touch but he ignored me as if I meant nothing to him. It was hard but I even made excuses for him.

“Maybe he is busy spending time with his parents.”

“Maybe he is catching up with friends.”

“I am sure he will get back to me when all the pressure to socialize dies down.”

Anyway, I was scrolling through WhatsApp recently when I saw a video on one of his family members’ status. It was a video of Ken in an airplane, wearing matching outfits with another woman. His relative captioned it, “My people, welcome home,” with flying heart emojis.

I was shocked.

Ken had actually sent me a video of himself on the plane when he was traveling—but in that one, he was alone. This other video clearly showed a woman. I could tell from their body language that they’ve been together for long. It wasn’t new love.

So I confronted him.

READ ALSO: Sometimes Love Comes To You Wearing Hospital Scrubs

I asked him why he deceived me. “Why did you promise to marry me when you knew you had another woman? What did you want with me?”

He couldn’t give me any proper explanation. I didn’t argue. I just blocked him, and every number he’s tried to reach me with.

But now there’s an issue. His susu money is ready, and he wants it.

I Was Fine Until I Was Alone In My Room

A part of me wants to keep it as a compensation for my time, love, and energy he wasted. Another part of me wants to just send it to him and be done with all of it. So I could find peace and walk away without carrying the weight of bitterness.

I’m torn. Should I keep his money for all my troubles? Or return it to avoid drama?

—Gretel

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB