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One dawn, I woke up next to Elvis and I couldn’t sleep again. A lot of things were going through my mind and I couldn’t simply fall asleep again. His phone’s screen lighted up and went dim. I looked away and continued talking with the voices in my head. Two or three minutes later, his phone’s screen came up again and went dim. I looked at him and how peaceful he was enjoying his sleep. His thoughts started rolling in my head. I thought about him and asked myself, “What’s the future of this relationship? We’ve done three years already and we’ve never talked about marriage.” His phone’s screen came up again. I picked it to check what was going on. They were notifications from WhatsApp groups and from Twitter and other social media networks.

I said to myself, “People don’t sleep anymore these days? How could they be talking this late in the night?”

Because I couldn’t sleep, I decided to go through his phone and see what he had been up to. He gave me his password long ago but I never used it. I didn’t touch his phone and he didn’t touch mine. It’s not an agreement we made. It was not in our character to be interested in each other’s phones. But that night I was looking for something—anything at all to keep my wandering mind engaged. I opened his phone and started from his photo album.

I saw a lot of photos of us and I smiled. Some of them were beautiful. I was smiling a lot in the photo. He had his hand around my waist (He did that all the time) in most of the photos. Then I saw one photo from our beginning. It could have been our first date right after I accepted his proposal. I looked at our hungry faces and wondered what was going through our minds. I said, “Who thought we could be here right at this moment, lying next to each other in the deepest of the night?”

I went through all the photos in his album while he tossed and turned in bed. Then I went to his WhatsApp. I saw chat history with so many girls but I didn’t care to read them. I didn’t want to know what they were talking about. I already had a lot on my mind and wasn’t ready to think about what he said or didn’t say to other women. I went straight to the chat between him and Kwabena.

Kwabena is his best friend. He told me they’ve been together since childhood. Kwabena called me, “Our wife,” and I responded, “My husband.” We were very close—close to the point that anytime I had issues with Elvis, I went to him. He was the one who heard our problems and tried to restore calm in our relationship. I went through their chats that night because I knew he would be the one Elvis would discuss his problems with and if there was something going on in his life that I didn’t know, it would be Kwabena he would discuss it with. The chats were long and meandering. I couldn’t read everything so I did the simplest thing. I went to chat search and typed my name. All the times they’ve mentioned my name in their chats appeared. I took my time to go through it all.

Kwabena: “Elvis, your girl called ooo. You guys fight again, I dey lie?”
Elvis: Dawg that girl. Always giving me trouble. I’m even tired of her.”

I laughed. We’ve had a fight and we were not talking so that response from him was expected. I Kept reading…

Kwabena: “Charlie you and that girl what’s up?”
Elvis: “I’m trying to hit but she suspects I’m going out with Getty so she’s doing shakara moves but I chalk give am.”

At this moment my heart started beating faster. “Really? There’s another girl somewhere?” I read around that chat but at some point, they stopped talking about the girl so I didn’t get to know where it ended. I thought that was the worst thing I could find but the worst was yet to come;

Elvis: “I’ve been trying to find fault with her so I can stand on it and leave but I’m not getting any. I’ve trapped her saaa but she’s not falling inside the trap.”
Kwabena: “But why do you want to leave her? I thought she was the main chick? You remember you told me you’ll marry her?”
Elvis: “Oh Getty? Naaa I can’t marry her. She’s not smart. I don’t want dumb kids.”

Eiish My heart! Me not smart? I don’t mean to brag but I completed University with First class honors. I completed my master’s program long before I met him. I worked for years and won many company awards before leaving to start my own business. He did HND, started working before doing a two-year top-up so what smartness was he talking about? Or it’s because I was doing my own job and he was working in an international organization he thought he was smarter?

I should have stopped there but my curiosity won’t let me;

Elvis: “It’s the sex ooo. She’s so good. That’s why when we fight, I always get back together with her.”
Kwabena: “If you don’t like her, then look sharp. Don’t waste your time.”

Kwabena. The guy who called me “our wife” was also there stoking the fire. I told myself that I wouldn’t cry but tears welled up in my eyes until I gave up. I looked at him. He was snoring like a baby. I looked at the time, it was 3:45am. I wore my clothes, picked my bag and left. I cried inside the taxi until I got home. I dated with a clean heart and conscience, even when things were not going well, I trusted that it was just a phase that would soon pass. But see.

He called when he woke up. He asked, “Where are you? What happened to you?” I said, “I left. I couldn’t sleep.” He might have sensed the worries in my voice. He asked, “Is everything alright?” I said, “No. I read your chat.” He said, “Ahuh, and what happened?” He was so confident he had nothing to hide until I said, “I read the chat between you and Kwabena.” Then he started stuttering. He couldn’t find the right word to say. I said, “Now I know what you think about me. There’s no need to continue with you. I don’t want to give you dumb kids and I’m sorry you don’t see anything good in me.”

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When we stopped talking, he sent text messages trying to explain himself. Not too long afterward, Kwabena called. He said, “All those conversations are old conversations. We had them at the beginning of the relationship. Now he knows you better so things have changed.” I told him, “Don’t come here with your lies. You’re the last person I expect to do damage control here upon everything that you’ve told him.”

All these happened between February and March this year. I expect him to give up by this time but he still keeps trying to get me back. He sent me screenshots of those messages I read with the timestamps. It’s true, those conversations happened around the first year of our relationship. He keeps telling me that he wasn’t sure about me from the beginning that’s why he said all that but knowing me and how far we had come, he’s convinced I’m the best thing that happened to him.

Two weeks ago, I met him. He looked sincere. His apologies felt like it was coming from a deeper place. He talked while looking into my eyes, something he didn’t do often. All of a sudden, he looks brand new. I want to reconsider my decision and accept him back but something about the events that dawn keeps haunting me. It keeps echoing in my head and gives me chills. My heart wants to give him a chance but my head says no. Battle of the voices within. I’m confused. Should I listen to my heart or I should let my head win?

–Getty 

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