I’ve been with this guy for eight years now, and we have a two-year-old son. At some point in the relationship, I travelled abroad to further my education. I was in the early stages of pregnancy when I left. And when I got there, the distance, keeping up with school schedule, and childcare, among other things made it difficult for us to communicate consistently.

The gaps in our communication made it hard for me to know what was going on in his life. Every time I asked him what he was up to, he would keep the conversations general; work, family, friends and other related stuff.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

It wasn’t until I returned home that I knew what he was up to. I didn’t hear stories from others. I didn’t go digging. He was the one who sat me down and confessed everything.

He talked about all the girls he had been with while I was away. I was shocked. He never did anything to suggest he was the kind to cheat. So I trusted him with all my heart. That’s why I didn’t mind doing a long-distance relationship with him. Only for me to return and hear that he couldn’t stay faithful to me.

I was upset but I told him to go to the hospital and get tested for STDs. “I want to see the results when you are done.” He didn’t object. He ran the tests and brought me the results. Everything was good. “If you give me one more chance I won’t do it again, I assure you,” he pleaded. I convinced myself that his actions were forgivable, seeing as I wasn’t around to satisfy his needs.

I tried my best to move past what he did. He also did things to suggest he had changed. Everything seemed fine until one night when I took his phone while he was asleep. That was when I saw a message he sent to one of his women just a week to my return. They had arranged to meet and get intimate. My heart sank.

The next morning, I confronted him. “So even a week to my return, you couldn’t wait?” Once again, he said he was sorry.

One of the reasons I chose to overlook his infidelities is because he has invested so much in me. He is the reason I am where I am today. And sometimes he tells me I might disappoint him one day. So a part of me always chooses to prove to him that I am not going anywhere.

The interesting thing is that he is quite possessive. You would think a man who goes about sleeping around wouldn’t mind sharing but no. One time a male friend texted me to check up on me. My man saw the message and immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was sneaky. He took the guy’s number from my phone and warned him to stay away from me. Meanwhile, this guy was just a friend.

Anyway, a few weeks after my move back home, we got a place together and moved in. Shortly after that, he got the opportunity to travel for business. Before he left, he spoke about marriage. “We have to legalize this relationship as soon as possible.” I agreed but I wanted to be sure first that he wasn’t up to anything shady with the women from his past.

What he didn’t know was that I could access one of his social media accounts from my phone. For some reason, I used the account to post a photo of him, me, and our son. A girl reacted to it strangely, which caught my attention.

On the day he was supposed to leave, I reached out to the girl to ask what was wrong. She said, “I thought I was okay with what we had until I saw a picture of you and your baby mama.” I engaged her for a while before saying, “This is not Charles. It’s his baby mama.” That’s when she spilled everything.

He told her I was his sugar mummy and that we weren’t together anymore. They were making plans to meet and sleep together before his trip but my post put her off.

Why would he call me a sugar mommy? We’re the same age.

READ ALSO: I Finally Got Tired Of Making Room For All Her Exes In Our Relationship

Now he’s gone, and I find it so hard to trust him. I’ll be going to see him in April with my parents, but I feel so stupid. What do men really want? Can’t they just be faithful?

I keep asking myself so many questions, and it’s draining me mentally. I am looking for a way to get past all this brouhaha with his women so that when he returns, or when I go to see him I won’t feel this much pain.

Does Your Boyfriend Know Shoe Size?

Because the truth is, I have seen over nineteen different women that he had been with, in his messages. Some were his classmates. Some were random girls. How do people just meet and decide to have sex so easily?

As I am here, I find it hard to even flirt with another man. So why is it so easy for him to cheat? Or maybe I should also cheat back.

—Nadine

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB