We’ve been here for the past three years, me and Afiba. She’s an alpha female. She likes to call off the shot and wants to be in control at any given time. I don’t fight her over control. I give it to her because regardless of everything, she’s a good leader.

In this relationship, I would like to state the truth. She takes care of me. When we met, I didn’t have a job but she didn’t mind. When I got a job, it didn’t affect the relationship in any way. Then I lost the job and later got another job that paid nothing. Throughout these phases, she was the one in charge, paying for our outings and transport and sometimes bailing me out of my troubles with monetary assistance.

She doesn’t want us to talk about marriage, which I also understand her. According to her, marriage looks scary and she would like to put it behind until she’s ready. She had never been ready and I don’t force her to be ready.

One day she told me about a man worrying her life. Another time she told me she had accepted the man’s proposal because the man had money. My heart broke a little but she told me not to worry. “Trust me, she won’t touch me. I know how to string him along and get some of his money.” It still hurt a little but I trusted her to do the right thing.

She would bring something new home and tell Mr the man got it for her. She’ll count a bunch of money in front of me and tell me the man gave it to her. I’ll see her in exotic places in photos and she’ll tell me the man took her there. The dynamics of our relationship didn’t change regardless. She still had time for me.

She started saying no to sex. I got worried. It continued for a month until one day she allowed me. After shuperu, she said, “Now I have to stay away from this man for a very long time because of you. Your ‘joystick’ is too big.”

I didn’t get it so she explained; “The rich man is too small so when I do it with you and also do it with him, the man doesn’t feel it and it makes me worried.”

I didn’t even know they were having shuperu but see how she chose to announce it to me.

I’m a man. A little bit of control in my relationship shouldn’t hurt but here, I have none. I’ve decided to walk away but the thing is, economically, it will be hard for me without her. So as I’m here, I’m looking for an escape plan. I’m thinking of taking a big loan from her and disappear for good. She has hurt me enough, no amount can pay for the hurt but any amount at this point in my life will do.

—Enoch

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