She had a boyfriend but I didn’t know. I loved her from a distance and was determined to make her mine. She was nice to me each time when we met. When a woman loves you, I learned that she spends time talking to you. So looking at the amount of time she invested talking to me, I decided it was time to strike the iron while it was hot. One day on our usual talk on the phone, I proposed to her.

She asked how long I’d been loving her. I didn’t know how long so I told her I’d been loving her long enough to know it was true. She said something I didn’t hear. I asked what she said and she told me not to worry. I was dying for an answer so I kept pushing her until she told me she had a boyfriend.

If a woman is loved right in a relationship, she doesn’t spend time talking to another man so I knew something was wrong with her relationship. It was just a matter of time.

I didn’t pull away. I stayed around her, being nice, being the same man she knew right from the start. I was the last person she talked to before going to bed. A woman in a loving relationship doesn’t do that. I was the first person she called when she woke up. Again, a woman in love doesn’t do that for another man.

One day she opened up to me about her relationship. As I expected, it wasn’t anything to write home about. Anytime the guy was angry, he ghosted her for days. No calls, no texts. Nothing. Even when he was wrong, she had to go and apologize. She didn’t leave the guy because, according to her, the guy was good when he wanted to be good.

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“You’re the kind of man I should fall for,” she told me. “But this crazy heart wouldn’t let me leave him for you.” I responded, “You don’t have to be in a rush. I will always be here for you.”

I didn’t lie. I meant it. I knew it was just a matter of time.

One day she said she had left the guy for good. Another time she said they had come back. A few weeks later she said it was finally over. Days later they were back together. One day she said, “This one is final. The final straw that broke the back of our relationship.” She was in my room. We kissed. Which led to something else and that something else led to us picking our clothes from the floor once we were done.

Our relationship started right from the point where she left her boyfriend. I knew the tides were going to be high and low but I didn’t know it was coming so soon. We were barely a month together when she told me, “He’s back. Can I give him one last chance? It doesn’t change anything between us. I just need some money from him. When I’m done, I’m gone.”

So I started dating a woman who was dating another man on and off. It was my first time doing that. At first, my heart wasn’t right. My conscience kept poking at me. My mind kept laughing at me for stooping so low to accept being a side man. I didn’t fight them. I accepted my fate and told these organs of mine that sought to control my life; “It’s just a matter of time.”

A year later, I was still telling myself, “It’s just a matter of time. One day she will leave and will not go back to him again.”

I became the guy who steadied her boat when she was in a raging storm with her main boyfriend. She could tell me she was with him. She could tell me everything they did. Even when the sex was bad, she told me about it and said I was stronger.

She got pregnant for us. For us because she didn’t know who it was for. She did the maths with me. We used a Venn diagram for the assessment. In the month she probably got pregnant, A intersected with B. I was A and her boyfriend was B. The only way to prove who was responsible was through DNA. I convinced her to flash it and she did, without telling the other guy. I planned to leave the scene to avoid future troubles.

I couldn’t leave. I’d become just like her, she couldn’t leave her boyfriend though everything was bad.

A month ago, the guy travelled. He is going away for three months. Since he has been gone, he hasn’t called her or texted her. She told me she was using this period as an opportunity to leave the relationship. We were happy and clingy to each other until she started complaining of symptoms of pregnancy. She checked and it was positive.

“A perfect opportunity to leave him,” she said. “He will come and find me pregnant. That would push him away.”

I don’t intend to keep the pregnancy, not in a situation like this so I told her to let it go. She said, “I’ve done one for you already. Not this time. I’m going to keep it.”

This is where the craziness in my head thawed for sense to take over. I don’t want a child now and I don’t want someone to use a child to pin me down. She knows what we both have isn’t love in its truest sense. Why would she get pregnant for me? I’ve said everything. I’ve been on my knees for her.

To rub salt to injury, she told me we should perform a knocking ceremony before the pregnancy begins to show.

She’s using this situation as an escape from her true love and the speed at which she’s traveling makes me want to take to my heels. Yes, I want to run away to a place where I can cool off my head. She hasn’t moved on from her boyfriend. She can even give this pregnancy to him and everyone will believe her so why is she doing this to me?

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I’ve brought this unto myself so I will deal with it the best way I can. It’s the child I’m pitying. To have a first child with a man like this is also my problem. She will give birth today and return to her boyfriend tomorrow, that, I’m very sure. It’s also the reason I just want to run and hide. Too much for a little head like mine to carry but I will take it a day at a time and see how the story ends but no matter what, I’m not going to marry a woman like her.

— Junior

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