The very thing I love about Baaba is the same thing that I hate about her. She’s very fierce. You can’t make her feel intimidated. She knows how to get what she wants and she goes for it without being intimidated by anybody’s presence. I remember when I was trying to make her my girlfriend, everyone said, “Eiii can you handle Baaba? She’ll beat you one day ooo.” But behind the fierceness and aggressiveness, I found a soft heart begging to be loved the right way.

I’m very calm and mostly introverted. I knew having a woman like that would be a complement to my nature so regardless of what other people said about her, I still went for her. In all, we’ve had a very beautiful relationship. When we are together, we laugh and create silly jokes about the people in our lives. She’ll tell me about her day, about the man she confronted, and about the lady who tried to get at the wrong side of her. I will tell her about issues I’m facing at the office and she’ll tell me, “Don’t sit there and brood when you can confront people and get the answer.” That’s her character, if something bothers her, she would never keep it for a second. She’ll just walk up to you and ask questions.

I think that attitude of hers steadied our relationship a bit whenever we hit a wrong patch but mostly I found myself telling her to calm down. If we went out and someone did something wrong in our presence, she’d like to get up and say a word to the person. I remember we were at the mall once when we saw a guy pick up a can of Coke and start drinking it. She asked, “Shouldn’t he pay for it first before he starts drinking?” I told her, “They do it. He can drink it and still pay for it at the counter.”

That was just about it. We went around picking our stuff until we were done and joined the queue at the pay point. Seconds later, I saw her dashed out of the queue to the cashier. She told her, “This man drank a can of coke while in there. I wonder why that empty can is not part of his items. I’m not lying, you can ask my boyfriend there. We both saw him.” I was like, “Eiii, this one too does it concern you?” That man stood still, surprised at what my girlfriend was saying. Baaba kept talking, “Why are you looking at me as if I’m telling a lie? Didn’t you drink a can of coke while in there picking your stuff?”

The guy told the cashier, “You add it. I forgot.” The cashier asked for the can. He went out of the line and brought the can to be added. Everyone around there was laughing and looking at Baaba in weird ways. She won’t stop talking. “You people go around causing financial loss to business owners. Imagine everyone who comes here steals a can of coke, will this business survive?”

When we went out, I told her, “You don’t have to talk about everything you see. See the embarrassment you caused the man?” She said, “One day, this shop would be no more because of people like that. The economy is hard for everyone but we are not stealing cokes.”

So recently we went out and were going back home in the evening when suddenly a car crossed us from the left. If I lost concentration for a microsecond, I would have crashed into that car. I stepped on the break and she almost fell off her seat. She saw what happened and was very angry. She shouted, “What crazy driver is that?” I was angry too. I was expecting the driver to at least acknowledge the mistake and say sorry or something but the driver drove off as if nothing happened. I wasn’t going to let it slide like that so I ran after the car, knowing we would all stop at the next traffic.

When we got there, I lowered the window to throw some insults, that was when I realized it was a lady. I said softly, “Didn’t you see what you just did at the bend?” She turned and looked at me like I was some despicable thing that didn’t deserve her attention. Baaba screamed, “Are you stupid? Why do you drive like a headless chicken? You want to kill us?” The lady retorted, “Look at you calling me stupid.” And then she laughed. She said, “Shut your stinking mouth over there and go your way.”

By the time I realized, Baaba had gotten out of the car and was approaching the lady’s car. I screamed at her, “Baaba, get back, the traffic light would go green very soon. Get back here.” She won’t listen to me. She went straight to the driver’s side of the lady’s car and started picking on her. Seconds later, the lady also got out of her car to face her. I said to myself, “This won’t end well.”

A lot of people had started gathering. Other drivers in the traffic were also enjoying the spectacle. That was when the traffic light turned green so I decided to park somewhere safe and go for her. By the time I returned to the scene, she was on the floor and the lady on top of her throwing punches while she tried to fend off the punches coming from the lady. Those standing there were trying their best to separate the fight but because they were women, I think they were confused as to what to do. One guy held the other lady’s hands and lifted her to set Baaba free. That was when I also held her by the hand and pulled her to the car.

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They kept exchanging insults while they went their separate ways. When we settled I told her, “No you shouldn’t have done that. Why would a woman like you fight on the street like that? Nooo, you didn’t have to attack her. What’s that?” She looked at her manicure. Two were gone. She had a little bruise under her eyes and around her arms. I said, “Look at you. By the time you realize it, it’s trending on social media. Why would you do that?”

She said, “So because of social media that’s why you stood aloof while she was on top of me throwing punches, right? You didn’t want to appear in the video so she should kill me, right?” I said, “Not that. I was parking well. There were a lot of cars behind me that needed to move.” She retorted, “Wasn’t the lady’s car on the road while we were fighting? The drivers behind her, were they not able to move when the traffic turned green? Just stop talking and drive.”

We were supposed to go to my place but she said, “Just drop me by the roadside, I will get a car home.” I asked, “You’re no longer going home with me?” She said, “If I died, would you have gone to your place with my dead body? Just stop it. You’re making me angry.” She won’t let me drive her to her house so she got down and got a taxi home.

Since then, our relationship has been on the rock. She blames me for what happened, which I’m very surprised. I wasn’t the one who asked her to attack the lady and I wasn’t the one who made the lady beat her until she lost her nails so where was my mistake?” I will call her and she won’t pick up. I will go to her house and she won’t see me. Days ago, I asked her “What is happening to us?” She responded, “There is no more us. I can’t be with a man who can’t stand his ground to defend his woman. I can’t!”

I’m here wondering what I did wrong and why she’s so bitter against me when I wasn’t the one who caused that debacle. Or I’m to blame for everything that happened?

–Osei-Tutu

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