We have dated for three years and throughout these three years, she had been nothing but amazing. I love her. Everything she has done for me and continues to do indicates that she has mad love for me. When we met, we were both fresh out of school looking for jobs. She got a job first and started supporting me. Most of the help she sent my way wasn’t financial but I remember seeing her distributing my CVs to all the people she knew. When I need something small too, she gave it to me. She was the kind of girl every man would love to have by his side

But a year ago, she started carving a certain persona on Social media that confused me a bit. She started showing signs of feminism in the things she posted. When a feminism post broke out, you’ll find her there throwing supports for everything feminism. I don’t have a problem with a woman who thinks men and women deserve equal opportunities. I don’t have a problem at all with that but then she started preaching against submission in marriage and called it slavery.

In one of her posts, she stated clearly that a woman has no business submitting to a man. A guy put out a dissenting view and the things my girlfriend said to the guy, I’m even ashamed to repeat it here. I called her on phone and asked why she would talk to a guy like that. “Baby, in real life, there’s no way you will talk to anyone like that so why would you type all that to someone online?” She said, “But you don’t have to take the things we say on social media seriously? We all go there to release some tension. It’s not serious like that.”

Another time, she was against a woman helping her man financially. Another time too she stated that there was no way she would cook in the house just because she was a woman. I didn’t care about these assertions because I knew who she truly was. This is a woman who will go out of her way to help me in any way possible. Whenever I visit her, she would cook and serve me. She’s very respectful so I decided not to pay attention to what she said online.

And then one day, I saw her comment on one of the relationship platforms. She was advising a girl not to declare her earnings to her husband because husbands don’t help when they get to know what their wives earn. I had an argument with her on that. It got heated. She said, “Why would you go about reading the things I say online and use it to judge me? Can’t a woman have fun again?”

I realized I wasn’t seeing her posts and comment again for a very long time. When I checked, she had blocked me on Facebook. I confronted her. She said, “If you don’t see it, it won’t bring confusion between us. That’s why I’ve blocked you.” I didn’t fight her. It’s her own decision. But I kept monitoring the things she said with another account. She said a lot of weird stuff; That a woman who submits to a man is just but a slave and she’ll never submit. If a man isn’t ready to enter into a marriage of equals, then that man can’t marry her because there would be trouble.

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The problem now is that we have started talking about marriage but I’m developing cold feet towards the whole thing. Though she acts differently from what she says online, I’m entertaining the fear that we might get married and she would change to become that girl she is on social media. I’ve even had friends sending me screenshots of what she has been saying on those women groups and the kind of weird mind she has towards marriage. Those friends ask me, “And you are going to marry her?” I tell them, “She’s not what she preaches online. She’s totally different person when she’s with me. Then they’ll warn, “You better be careful because girls like that are only waiting for the ring so they can show you their true colors.”

My question today is; should I trust who she is with me now or I should believe the things she says online? Is she faking it online or she’s saying the truth there but only faking it with me? These questions have become my headache recently so whenever she asks about the marriage plans, I’m not able to give her straight answers. I believe she’s sensing my doubts because recently, she had increased the rate at which she talks about the marriage.

Dear friends, please I need your advice before I enter into something I might regret later on in life.

–Frank

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