She wanted the spare key to my room so she could come around unannounced. I didn’t hesitate. I gave it to her. I even affirmed to her that she could come home at any time she wanted without telling me.

She wanted me to introduce her to all the people in my circle. “The world should know that I’m the one you’re dating,” she told me. I didn’t disagree. One after the other, I’ve introduced her to all my paddies. I’m yet to take her home to meet my parents because it’s the last stage before marriage.

She asked if my phone was calling and I wasn’t around, could she pick up the call? I answered, “You can but you should study the name first before you pick up. If it’s an unknown number, don’t pick it up. It could be something relating to my job.”

She wanted my phone’s password. I gave it to her. The first place she went was my WhatsApp. I didn’t bother because there was nothing to hide. Before she said yes to me three months ago, I hadn’t dated for two years. She also gave me her password.

Just yesterday, she asked why I broke up with my last girlfriend and why did it take me two years to date again. I explained the pain I went through and why I decided love wasn’t worth it until I met her. The next demand was, “Can I talk to your ex? I want to hear her side of the story.”

I haven’t spoken to this ex for close to two years. I don’t even have her number saved on my phone though I have it off my head. What kind of insecurity will make a woman ask for this much and still want more? In fact, I got angry. I responded, “I’m not going to do that. The door is not locked. You can leave and never come back if this is a deal breaker for you.”

She didn’t leave. She stayed to accuse me of hiding my deeds—the reason my ex left. “If you were clean as you say you are, you would have given her number to me,” she said.

At this point, I believe she’s a walking red flag. She has serious trust issues and this will bite us later in our relationship.

She’s been treated badly by guys hence the trust issues but I’ve told her to calm down since I’m a different guy. She doesn’t believe me. She wants to see me inside out to know if I have red blood and intestines like all humans do. Isn’t this a red flag? Or I’m thinking too much?

— Fabian

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