I met Mawuko a couple of years ago and became very close to her. She was working in a hotel so whenever my bosses came around and they needed a place to lodge, I always called her and she gave me a deal. When the hotel is running some holiday promos, she’ll call to tell me. Through that, we started building a friendship that was mutually beneficial to both of us.

Along the line, I developed an interest in her. It was hard to say at first but as time went on, it became very clear that I was in love with her. I took my time to know her. I wanted to test the temperature of her feelings toward me so I got closer and talked to her every day. I gave her signs that I love her. She’s clever so I know she read the signs correctly. Just when I was about to launch a love attack, I got to know she had a boyfriend.

The thing is, it wasn’t easy for me to withdraw. I’d gone in too deep that going back was almost impossible. One night I asked her, “How is your boyfriend?” She laughed and asked, “Have I told you that I have a boyfriend?” I said, “Girl like you can’t be single. See the way you turn heads whenever we are together. How can you be single?” She laughed my question off. No matter how hard I tried to get her to talk about it, she didn’t. She said, “Let’s not talk about it. Maybe someday but not today.”

I asked a friend who also knew her and she told me, “Mawuko had been with that boyfriend for long ooo. If I’m not exaggerating, they’ve dated for more than five years.” I knew I had lost. If a girl dates a boy for that long, it means two things; It’s either they are heading to the altar very soon or the love between them is so strong that nothing could easily break them. Something had to keep two people together for that long.

So, I decided to back off. I didn’t want to waste my time on something I can never have. But she kept coming. She kept throwing cues here and there. She made it obvious that she liked me. She said one day, “I want you close no matter what so please don’t go away.” I asked about her boyfriend and she wouldn’t talk about him. On her boyfriend’s birthday, she posted him on her status with lavish words. I asked, “Is he the one?” She said, “Yeah, this is the guy who’s wasting my time ooo.”

That very night we had an extensive conversation about her boyfriend. Yes, they’ve dated for five years going on their sixth year. She said, “He’s not serious about marriage and it’s making me doubtful about his intentions. Last year he said we would get married this year. This year he’s telling me next year. I know next year will come and he’ll give me another year but I don’t have his time.” I asked her, “So what’s your next move?” She said, “I don’t even know what to do.”

One day she visited. Again we talked. Pasion went over the roof. We kissed. I wanted more but she pulled the breaks. She asked me, “Do you like me that much?” I said, “Had it not been your boyfriend, I would have been the one in your life right now. He’s there. You’re not ready to let him go. I can’t be with you when he’s there.” She asked me, “So what are we going to do?” I told her, “I don’t have to do anything. I love you and I’m convinced about that. You have to do something if you feel the same way like I do.” She sighed deeply. She said, “Let’s see what I can do.”

I called her each night and we talked. I didn’t ask about her boyfriend. I was just being a friend without letting her relationship status come between us. One day she asked me, “So can’t we date while he’s still there? That guy is not serious. I need something to push him away. When he realizes that we are together, he will accuse me of cheating and walk away.” I said, “I don’t want to compete. I want you and I want you to myself. I don’t want a situation whereby you’ll have to deal with us both. It’s not fair. If your heart is in it, please do the right thing.”

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She came around frequently. We kissed often but that was all. When she needed something and I could provide it, I did it without thinking twice. I did everything to assure her of my love. I even laid down the plans for our future for her. She said, “You don’t love me that much.” I asked, “Why do you say that?” She said, “If you love me, you would have taken me by force. Men snatch women out of the hands of their boyfriends all the time. If you love me that much, you would do the same.”

But that’s not what I want to do.

I love her very much. I won’t waste time marrying her. I’m ready but I don’t want it to look like I’m the only one pulling all the strings. If she loves me as I do, then she should also leave her boyfriend and come to me. But it looks like it’s difficult for her. It looks like something is pulling her back from deciding on what to do. One day she’s so sure she’s going to walk away. Another day, she’ll come and tell me stories.

I gave her an ultimatum. I gave her the whole of June to decide. June is almost ending but it doesn’t look like she had reached any decision yet. I’m tired of waiting yet I don’t have the vim to walk away. Something tells me she’s the one. Everything she does shows that she’s the one. But she can’t just walk away from her guy so the two of us will be together.

What else do I have to tell her to push her to decide? I know June will end and I won’t be able to stop chasing her so I want to know the kind of assurance I should give her for her to know that she has nothing to fear. I want to hear your mind. Kindly speak with an open heart so I can listen with an open mind. No insult, please.

–Arnold 

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