She Used My Love As A Weapon Against Me

I met Abby on a relationship page on Facebook. I actively commented on all the stories people posted on the page. So I was known by the people who followed the page religiously. Abby is one of the people who engaged my comments. The conversation moved from the comment section to our inbox. And the vibe was so good that we exchanged phone numbers. That’s how our mutual interests graduated into friendship.

At the time we started talking, she was attending classes for a Counter Assistant course. Abby was young and full of ambition. She wanted to pursue a career in healthcare but she didn’t want to do better than be a Counter Assistant. And I admired her for that.

In the course of our friendship, she travelled to Ho to study a more intense course. I don’t know what happened but her plans changed when she arrived at the school. She chose to study nursing instead.

While she was striving to find her feet in school, our friendship evolved into something more. She shared all her struggles with me, and I stood by her however she needed me to. I enjoyed being the person she turned to to make her burden lighter. This act of giving her a shoulder to lean on sparked something in my heart for her. It didn’t take long for me to learn that she also felt the spark. We were drawn to each other like, unlike poles of two magnets.

We didn’t know what the future would bring but we purposed in our heart to enjoy our love every step of the way. Little did we know that we would go through a series of tests that would either weaken or strengthen our bond.

The beginning of the relationship was pure bliss. We held conversations about our hopes and aspirations. We gave pieces of advice and encouragement to support each other’s dreams along the way. However, as time progressed, I began to unravel Abby’s true colours.

I never for once thought that my sweet and calm Abby possessed a fiery temper. She was prone to bouts of anger, and they were triggered by trivial issues. What made it worse was that she never apologized whenever she was wrong. Sometimes she got angry because she misunderstood a situation. The decent thing to do when issues clear up is to say, “I am sorry I reacted badly to a situation I did not properly understand.” However, Abby was beyond admitting she was wrong.

I held on with the hope that she would see things my way and fix her attitude but I was wrong about that too. What she started doing was using my love for her as a weapon against me. Every little thing she would say, “I don’t want to be with you anymore. Let’s break up.” How can a relationship work when one party is always looking for an exit? Sometimes she would even leave but our bond was so strong that we always found our way back together.

I blamed some of our problems on the long distance. If we were seeing each other regularly, there wouldn’t be so much miscommunication and arguments between us.

Things took a drastic turn when Abby met a guy named Nii. She addressed him as her boss. Whatever work he employed her to do, I don’t know. I wasn’t comfortable with their closeness but my girlfriend didn’t care enough to listen to my reservations.

I suspected that there was more between them than friendship however I didn’t have proof. I also didn’t want to risk our fragile relationship by leveling accusations against her so I kept quiet.

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, Abby became more quick-tempered than ever. She would shout at me at the least chance she got. I bore it all in the name of love.

After almost three years of dating, I got the chance to travel out of the country to pursue my dreams. Despite our problems, we had our future all planned out before I left the shores of Ghana. If the distance between us in Ghana was enough to cause problems then imagine the problems we faced when I left Ghana.

One time we had a misunderstanding and didn’t talk for three weeks. When we finally addressed the issue my girlfriend confessed, “I don’t even know why we are still in this relationship. My boss asked me to break up with you long ago.” This revelation felt like a stab to my already aching heart.

Faced with the painful truth of how little I meant to her, I made the difficult decision to let her go. In response, Abby lashed out at me with more hurtful words, claiming that she had moved on from me long before I left Ghana. “I found someone else who treats me better than you ever could,” she said. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I resolved to accept the situation and focus on healing my own wounded heart.

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Weeks later, when the wounds were still fresh, Abby called with apologies on her lips. For the first time ever, she admitted that she hurt me with her words. She said she spoke in a moment of anger and everything she said was far from the truth. While a part of me wanted to believe her, I had already begun to find solace and peace within myself. The emotional rollercoaster we had endured over the years had finally exhausted me. I knew that I needed to prioritize my own well-being.

With a heavy heart, I wished Abby nothing but happiness and success in her life, hoping that she would find the love and fulfilment that I couldn’t give her.

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As time passed, I realized that holding onto a relationship built on a foundation of uncertainty and mistrust was not healthy for either of us. The hurtful words and actions left scars on my heart that reminded me of everything that went wrong between us. I have learned a lot of lessons that will guide my future relationships.

We could have had everything we dreamed of but her bad temper stained everything beautiful we shared. I genuinely pray that we both find the peace, love, and happiness we deserve as we continue on our separate paths.