She was always sick during our relationship. I proposed to her in January. In mid-January, she was seriously sick and was admitted to the hospital. I was by her side, paying for drugs and helping her go through the sickness. Some family members came around but they didn’t stay. They had their lives to live so they passed by quickly and left. She spent about a week at the hospital and I was with her through it all. I will go there in the morning before I go to work. After work, I would be with her until it was late. A week later when she was discharged, I paid the rest of the bills and took her to her place. In February, she was sick again. In March she was sick again. She was sick throughout easter. 

I was worried. I even asked her if she was a sickle cell patient and she said no. She was the woman I loved so I took it as part and parcel of the relationship and didn’t complain whenever her sickness came. She was a good woman. Whenever she was well, she would do everything for me and even go the extra mile for me. She would tell me, “Because you care for me, I don’t have any option but to care for you too. I loved her very much so whenever she was not well, I felt like I was the one who was sick. I couldn’t wait to see her become well again. 

One day she asked me for a loan. GHC5,000. I asked her, “What are you using the money for?” She answered, “It’s for some family issues I dint want to go into with you now. I would be happy if you can help. I will repay you in full as soon as I’ve settled everything. I don’t think it would be that long because I’m expecting some money.” I trusted her so I went into my savings and gave her the amount a day later. She was very happy and very appreciative. That also made me happy. 

She left town and I didn’t hear from her for three days. She didn’t call me and my calls to her never went through. I was worried the whole time until one morning I woke up and saw that she had read my message without responding to me. It only meant she had been online. I called her phone and it went through but she didn’t pick up my call. I sent her a long text asking if everything was alright and if she needed my help. She responded, “I’m fine. Don’t worry.” I said, “Is that all? I haven’t heard from you forever and that is all you could say?” She read it and didn’t respond so I stopped texting and calling her too. “Whatever is eating her won’t finish her, I believe. There would be a piece of her left in the end.”

She came back to town and didn’t bother to inform me. I got to know she was in town through her Whatsapp status. I was so angry I wanted to devour her. “Young woman, What have I done to deserve such cold treatment from you? Are we fighting? Are we over? What has come over you that you’re not saying anything to me?” Again, she read my text and said nothing. The next evening, I went to her house. She was in bed typing on her phone. I screamed, “You stay on your phone all day but ignore me all day. What has come over you? Tell me what’s going on in your mind and I’m ready to have it resolved today.”

She was treating me badly but I was patient. I knew her condition and thought she was reacting to issues going on in her life concerning her health. We spent over an hour in her place without resolving anything because she kept telling me everything was fine. “It’s a phase. It would be over very soon. You don’t have to worry,” she told me. Before leaving her place she said, “About your money. I’ve made some arrangements. I should be able to pay next week.” I was angry so all I said was, “fine” and left her place.

I woke up that dawn and saw a long message from her. She sent the message around 1am telling me it was over. She didn’t give any reason or whatsoever apart from telling me, “I know I’m not good for you. You are too kind and deserve someone who can make your life better and not a sickler like me. After everything you’ve done for me, see how I’ve treated you this month. Forgive me but look for someone else. Someone who will give you the love and kindness you deserve.”

I responded, “That’s ok but I believe whatever you are going through would be over soon so you come back to your senses. When you’re fine and you think you can love again, I would be here.” She wrote another message back, “I’m sorry. I’m not coming back. It’s something I’ve thought through very well. This is where we end and I mean it. Don’t entertain any hopes that I’ll someday crawl back to you. I don’t go back to places I’ve intentionally left.”

I didn’t write back. Surprisingly, when I put my head down on my pillow, I slept deeply. It felt like the questions plaguing my mind had been answered. I woke up the next morning and saw a message from her, “I should be able to pay your money back next month. I’ve made arrangements….” I stopped reading because it was the thousand times she was saying that to me. I deleted her number, deleted our pictures from my phone and also deleted our messages. Everything that reminded me of her was taken off from the places where I could easily see them. 

A month later, she sent me a message, “I’m happy to see how you’ve handled the whole thing. It gives me great joy to know you’re happy. About your money, I should be able to pay it back next week. I’ve made arrangements and this time it won’t fail.” I replied, “I hope this arrangement works out just fine.” 

Honestly, I wasn’t even thinking about the money and how she was going to pay it back. I was so engrossed in my healing and how easily I could move on but day by day, week after week, she sent a text telling me about a certain arrangement she had done to ensure my money was paid back in full. One day I told her, “You know what, you don’t even have to tell me anything about your arrangements. Whenever the money comes into your hand and wants to give it to me, I will be here to receive it. Stop talking about arrangements that never come to fruition.”

A year later, I saw fliers of her wedding invitation flying around. If I say I wasn’t shocked then I would be a liar. “How? When did she meet this one? Where? How?” I was tempted to call her and pour my anger on her but I didn’t. I thought it wasn’t worth it. A few days before her wedding she sent a message; “I know by this time you know I’m getting married. I know you have questions which I’m ready to answer if only you will ask them. Don’t wish me ill. This is the reason why I told you I wasn’t the best person for you. Forgive me and Don’t also think I took your money to be able to have a wedding. I’ve made special arrangements. I will pay right after the wedding.”

I read her message and said nothing. She kept sending me text upon text and I read and ignore all of them until she said, “I hope you’re not planning any evil against my wedding. I’ve been bad towards you but please don’t try to destroy my day.” I was like, “This girl, is she sure she’s of sound mind? How can I plan to disrupt anything?” To give her peace of mind I responded, “I’m not even in town to know what’s going on with you. We’ve been over for a year. Feel free to do whatever you want to do with your life.”

READ ALSO: It Started As Friends With Benefit Until I Got Pregnant

She had a beautiful wedding but again failed to pay the money she owes me. I still didn’t call to ask for it. She had been married for close to a year to a man who lives outside the country. Every now and then she would text me telling me about the money she owes me. I don’t say anything until recently she sent me a message, “It looks like it’s becoming difficult to pay what I owe you. Is there anything I can do for you that would be enough to pay the money? Think about anything and I’m ready to do it so I don’t owe you again.”

I decoded the essence of her message and laughed to myself. I sent her a response, “Yes there’s something you can do. Just send my cash into my account and everything would be fine.” She said, “I mean apart from paying the cash isn’t anything else you would like me to do?” I answered, “There’s nothing you can do for me. Just pay the money and be free. It’s been over two years already. What are you waiting for? Tell your husband and he’ll pay.”

 She disappeared for a while and later called me on phone. She was choking with tears. She said, “I’m not happy. Have you cursed me? Have you invoked any spiritual curses on my marriage? Why is everything going against me? Why are plans keep suffering this way? I want to know so I can pacify you. I’ve suffered enough disappointments already.” I laughed on the phone. “Dear, I let you go the day you said you were going. Why are you still keeping me with you? After this conversation, I will block you. I don’t want the money again. Keep it and leave me alone. Enjoy your marriage.”

What Do You Look For In A Partner You Want To Settle With?–Beads Media

Truly, I blocked her. It was later I got to know she married a man who was fifteen years older than her because he promised they would live together abroad once they marry. After marriage, the man hasn’t kept his part of the bargain and had been fighting over it every day. Well, I have my life to live and was not ready to be sucked into their drama. She calls me with people’s phones and I block her. I don’t know what she wants from me or what I can do to make her stop contacting me. But in all, I’m happy that it turned out this way because I don’t deserve how she treated me. I didn’t wish her any suffering but I’m Ok with the way things are going in her life. We all have to face misfortunes along the line so we learn. I hope this makes her learn a lesson.

— Kobby

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Please email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

*****