We’ve dated for three years. The only reason I haven’t married her is because she finds it hard to let things go. I love her. She has a good heart. She means well but roses come with thorns and her thorns prick where it hurts.
I had a child when I was twenty years old. I was young and stupid. I told her everything; how it happened, how the lady lied to me and how I discovered the child was mine. I wanted us to build trust but three years after telling her she uses it against me; “No wonder you had a child at twenty. If you continue doing this, you’ll father children that are not even your own.”
It hurts. I tell her but anytime she’s angry, she fights on issues that are old as time.
Her ex-boyfriend died two years before I met her. She still talks about him and even compares him to me. In her mind and heart, her ex always wins. It’s like I’m a downgrade but he’s taking me like that. “Josh won’t do what you’re doing. May God keep him wherever he is,” she would tell me. Or “When I found you, I thought you’d be like Josh.”
Josh is resting in peace, yet his memory is causing havoc in my relationship. She doesn’t listen. She thinks she’s right. You talk to her and she gets angry. I’m giving her time to change. I’ve asked people she’s shy of to talk to her. She comes out advising room only to tell me, “When you do this and I complain, you go and report me to elders but what you’re doing, Josh won’t do it. It’s the truth.”
I Told Him To Go Ahead And Do It
When she talks about marriage, I tell her I don’t have money. I have the money but I’m filled with doubt. I can’t live with this attitude forever. We should have married a year ago but the way I see it, it’s not possible to do it this year because I haven’t sensed the change I’m looking for.
Should I let her go? Or there’s something I haven’t done yet. I mean something that can bring extraordinary results. Please advise.
—Prince
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If you marry a man or woman who has anger issues, you will forever not be happy with them. They will tell you the have changed, but the day you have small issue she will bring back issues that happened in 1870. Living with such people is exhausting. I am speaking from experience. A word to the wise is in the North!
Do both of you a favour and end this! Clearly, she’s not over her ex and for all you know, this may explain why she’s so dysfunctional! She’s not ready, let her be and found one that is. Best of luck
Pls let her go. To marry her would bring you regret n pains
The RED FLAGS are popping up and you still want to keep her…yooo! If you want the fire to burn your bosom then keep it if not, like Akwasi said a word to the wise….
Please run for your life. If she changes, it is to get you marry her. Right after marrying her, you’ll witness the torment again and in folds.
Flee and be free
Are you ready to live with a lady that always compares you to others even the dead. Chale you are living ok don’t make them count you among the dead because such things slowly poisons you and make you bitter. It chips away your confidence and builds insecurity and doubts. Ask her plainly in one of those arguments who she loves most the dead or you who is living? Break up if you must and never look back. She is carrying a pain that not even 3 years of being in a relationship with you could cure how much more a lifetime. Know this and know peace.
Kindly be honest and point blank with her about your concerns rather than using ‘I don’t have money’ as the excuse. Truth served rightly will always be better than silence and decorated/genuine lies.
Please be upfront with her instead of using the ‘you don’t have money’ phrase as an excuse. It’s for your own good. Let her go now, or end up in a situation where you don’t want her, yet you have no choice but to marry her. Thank you
You see all this and you haven’t left yet? Good luck my brother