Although we are in the same school, we were not friends until I met her at church when I went to visit my brother in April last year. I only used to see her from afar but that day I waved at her when I noticed her. 

She was with her family after we closed but I went over and said hello. I introduced myself to her family and they were very warm. They treated me as though I was an old friend of Ivy. She was also quite sweet and polite. You wouldn’t even know that we barely talked in school.

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Although the vibe was great, I didn’t take her number that very day. I saw her in church a few times and we spoke mostly about school, church, and general issues. It was somewhere in May that I finally took her number. Things picked up pretty much after that. 

We were inseparable, even on the phone. I couldn’t go an entire day without talking to her. If we were not having phone calls, we were busy texting. Everything about her made her company enjoyable. 

The more we talked the more I grew fond of her. One day we were talking when I said, “I think I have fallen in love with you.” “Oh my god, same” she confessed. Well, it wasn’t surprising. Only two people who feel such intense things for each other would spend as much time talking to each other the way we do.

Regardless of our feelings, we agreed to remain friends. “I have feelings for you but I am not ready for a relationship. I want to concentrate on my studies for now,” she told me. I also told her, “Me too. I just want to focus on school for now.” We were both on the same page, so it was easier to just stay friends. 

Whenever an issue of our emotions came up, we dealt with it in the context of our friendship. Sometimes lines got blurred but no one crossed any lines. It was all still friendship. Based on this, I was sure that we would be fine no matter what we encountered. Unfortunately, time has proven me wrong. 

Things changed between us drastically when school resumed and we started hanging out together on campus. Ivy is every guy’s dream girl on campus. She is very pretty, with luscious pink lips and an hourglass figure. Both our lecturers and students had their sights set on her. This made me an object of unnecessary jealousy and hate.

I knew why they hated me but I didn’t care. We continued to hang out as friends. In fact, I took her out every week. Her mother never complained and that was all that mattered to me. If anything, I was happy that she liked me. It gave me hope that if we decide to be in a relationship, I was already in good standing with the family.

One day we attended a program on campus. The entire time we were there, one of her female friends was all over her. It wasn’t the usual girls-girls kind of touchiness. This particular girl was touchy, with intent. Everyone who saw them together raised eyebrows and asked questions. 

So on our way back from the event, I told her I was unhappy with the way her friend behaved. All of a sudden, Ivy flared up and said; “There is nothing wrong if we touch each other. We are friends. That’s how female friendship works.” When I disagreed with her, she raised her voice and told me to stop disturbing her. “If this issue bothers you that much, then go home and leave me alone.” As a guy, I couldn’t take the disrespect so I left. 

On my way home, I texted her to watch how disrespectful she sometimes gets. Instead of listening to me, she got offended and stopped talking to me. Not in person, no texts, and no phone calls. When my brother asked her what was wrong she responded; “Your boy said I am disrespectful so why does he want to talk to me?”

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At the time, I was seriously sick. She knew this but she didn’t care. Even when I apologized to her she wouldn’t talk to me. I had no other choice but to stop calling her and bring an end to our relationship.

Just as her family knows me, my family also knows her. They know she was just a friend but for some reason, they were not pleased to hear that the friendship was over. “Whatever you did,” fix it, they said, “we like her for you.” 

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In the end, it was Ivy who reached out to mend the friendship. She said she was sorry for the way she overreacted. I also accepted my part in what happened and forgave her. I truly believed she had changed, but the moment we were cool again her disrespect began again. She would either ignore me or blow things out of proportion whenever there was a disagreement. 

I am not going to lie, I love this girl but she is a handful. She keeps stressing me at every turn. She comes to me looking for attention but she becomes someone entirely unlikeable when I give it to her. Meanwhile, if I cut her off she goes about talking to my friends about me. And just like my family, they ask me to fix the friendship. I don’t know what to do with her anymore. I need some advice. 

— Bright 

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