An old friend of mine, Joyce, posted a lady on her WhatsApp status. I admired the lady in the picture so I asked Joyce; “Who is that beauty on your status?” “That’s my cousin, Rose.” Said Joyce. I asked to be introduced to Rose, and my friend did just that. Rose and I started talking, and I saw more of her photos. To be honest, it was her looks that got to me. She had the kind of body that would make most men want to be with her. And I wanted to be the one to say that she was mine. Because of this, I didn’t waste my time letting her know my interest.

I live in Kumasi and she lives and works in Accra, but the distance did not deter me from visiting her at work, just two weeks after we started talking. When I saw her in person I was more smitten by her beauty. The pictures I saw of her did not do her justice. She was prettier and had bigger butts and boobs in person. We sat down after her shift ended, and had a long talk just to know each other better. I told her I really wanted to be with her and I meant it. After an hour or so, I had to drop her off at home. I spent some time at her place so she decided to cook something for us to eat. It was then that she said; “I am not a good cook.” I told her, “Don’t worry, I can cook so let me handle it.”

When I was cooking I told her; “I can hire a cook to help you if you’d like to learn how to cook.” She eagerly said, “Yes, I would love that very much.” So I planned to get someone to teach her how to cook. After eating, we agreed that she would visit me in Kumasi in a month’s time. However, Rose decided to visit me two weeks before our agreed date. I liked spending time with her so I didn’t complain. I even gave her money, enough to fix her hair and pay for her transportation. Just as I hoped, we had a great time when she arrived. It was when some of my friends visited me that her inability to cook reared its head. I didn’t want her to be disgraced so I hurriedly took over the cooking and made it look like she did everything.

The day after my friend’s visit she proposed that we go to the hospital and run an HIV Test. I had just done the test not long ago so I told her I didn’t need to do it yet. She insisted; “It doesn’t matter. Do it again for my sake.” But I stood my ground, and it turned into an argument. At the end of the day, I wouldn’t budge so she dropped the issue. The next day she got sick and spent three days in the hospital. She had told me before her visit that she had an ulcer, but I was still scared when she got sick. By God’s grace, she got better and left for Accra the day after she was discharged from the hospital.

Our relationship came with a lot of challenges but we tried to overcome them as quickly as they arose. However, some of these challenges were borderline annoying. For instance, Rose had a habit of comparing me to her ex-boyfriend who was married with a child. This happened on so many occasions that I had to tell her, “Never bring up your ex in any of our conversations anymore.”

Two months into the relationship she had to attend a wedding in Kumasi so she planned to lodge with me. I didn’t have a problem with that. What I had a problem with, was her request that I drive from Kumasi to Accra to pick her up for the wedding. It wasn’t an economically wise request so I told her, “It will cost me less money if you just come by bus. When you get to the station, I will pick you up.” She got angry and tried to get me to change my mind but I wasn’t ready to back down.

When she arrived in Kumasi, I was cooking stew so I asked her to pick a taxi to my place. She lost her cool at that moment and started raining all sorts of insults upon me. I knew I didn’t deserve to be disrespected in that manner so I asked her to return to wherever she came from. Instead of her calming down, she kept insulting me. I couldn’t take it anymore so I hung up on her. I was in the house brooding over her behaviour when she showed up with a taxi. She walked straight past me into my hall and headed to the bedroom. I went after her and asked what the problem was. This lady angrily shouted at me, “Do you think that I am a fool? Or do you think I haven’t met men better than you? Is that how you disrespect women? I think I now know why no woman wants to be with you. Don’t you have a mother or sister? How will you feel if other men treat them this way?”

I was extremely angry but I kept my cool and asked her what exactly her problem was. “Was it the fact that I asked you to charter a taxi? What if I didn’t have a car? Wouldn’t you have visited me if I didn’t have a car?” Finally, I asked her if picking a taxi destroyed her in any way. When she couldn’t answer my questions I left the house to clear my mind. I came back home later in the night, took a shower, and went to bed. The entire time, she was on the bed with her phone but I didn’t say a word to her. I was deeply asleep when she woke me up and said she was hungry. I woke up, went to the kitchen, and cooked rice so she could eat it with the same stew I was preparing and couldn’t pick her up when she arrived. After cooking, I served her, came back to the bedroom, and told her to go and eat.

She came back to the bedroom after some time and woke me up again that we needed to talk. I told her there was nothing to talk about so she should just let me be. She apologized for her outburst during the day but I told her to forget it. At dawn, she apologized, and apologized, repeatedly but my mind was made up. The next morning I dropped her off at the wedding and waited for her until the wedding was over. I never uttered a word on our way back because I wasn’t ready to respond to anything she said.

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She sounded really sorry but deep down I had lost everything I had for her. Even if I was ready to forgive her, I would be anxious about when she would fly off the handle again. When she was ready to leave the next day, I drove her to Accra. She apologized to me throughout our journey but I was done. When we got to her place she said, “I left some condoms in your wardrobe so use them to protect yourself in case you want to cheat on me.” Then she added that she took my blood sample and run an HIV test. I couldn’t believe what I heard. I was shocked to the core. I asked her how she was able to take my blood without my knowledge. She said, “I pricked you when you were asleep.”

At that moment, I knew I had escaped a horrible woman. How could she take my blood without my consent? Is that even legal? It’s been close to a week since she told me this but I still feel hurt. I always said I was looking for a lady with 70% good qualities and 30% bad qualities, but Rose seems to have the opposite. She sometimes wants me to appreciate her because she’s dating just me. She said her friends are dating more than two or three men. Can these signs be ignored? In two months, she has shown me what I never saw in any lady that ever came into my life. Will I be wrong to end this relationship?

— Nana

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