A few months into our relationship, she introduced Diana to me as her best friend. I didn’t see their beginning but from the look of things, they looked like two people who have known each other for that long. Diana speaks with an American accent. That was one thing that caught my attention from the beginning. I asked her, “Were you raised in America?” The way she answered me didn’t sound like someone who was pleased to meet me. She was subtly rude to me but I took it as something that becomes with these half-caste people. When she left, I asked my girlfriend, “Where did you pick this broni pɛtɛ from?” 

She also sounded offended, “Why are you calling her broni pɛtɛ? Does she look like one to you?” I apologized; “Dear, I didn’t mean to disrespect or demean her. It was only a joke.” “If it’s a joke then it’s not funny,” she retorted. Because of that slight misunderstanding, she refused to tell me about her so I let it go. As time went on, I realized she was spending more time with this girl and a couple of friends. I will need her around and she would give me excuses; ” I and my girls are going out. One is having a party.” If it wasn’t a party, it was a trip. If it wasn’t a trip, it was hanging out. I realized I was losing my girlfriend to these friends of hers.

I talked to her about it often. She agreed with me and told me she was going to change but nothing changed. She would give me a reason not to come around but she would end up with Diana and their group of friends. I knew her senior sister so I talked to her about this new attitude of my girlfriend. She told me, “I’ve also seen it and I’ve been questioning her about it. Don’t worry, I will stop them from coming around.” 

My girl got angry when she realized that I’d spoken to her sister. That anger lasted for over a week and within those days, she ignored me completely and plunged into the affairs of those girls. We settled our differences ad I called her home one evening. I begged her to spend the night with me and she agreed. While she was asleep, I went through her phone.

I was only trying to see if she had found someone else. At the same time, I was praying my suspicion shouldn’t be true. I went through every message with a guy on her phone and I didn’t see anything that suggested she was out there cheating. I even went through her MoMo transactions to see if there was a man out there sending her money. I didn’t see anything of that sort. And then I saw the messages between herself and Diana. She had saved Diana’s number with three hearts next to it. My name was sitting there dry without a single heart to it. “She loves Diana more than Me?” I asked myself. I went through their chats and every line sunk a dagger through my heart.

They were not just friends but girlfriends—as in they do everything that happens between a guy and a girl in a relationship. I went through the photos they’d exchanged. I watched some videos of them together and I started shaking. There are ones they were using toys and others where their tongue went into sacred places. I screamed, “Oh my God!” I sent some of the videos and the photos to my phone before waking her up. When she saw her phone in my hand she shook. I asked calmly, “I’ve seen everything that’s going on between you and Diana. When did you start doing that? Be honest with me or else I will go out there and broadcast your shame for everyone to know who you truly are.”

She was shivering. She knelt down and started begging me. She was even crying. “I don’t know what came over me. It was her idea. When she said she liked me I didn’t think it was that way but before I realized she had pulled me into it. I swear she’s the only one I’ve ever done that with. I can’t even do it with anyone else. Please forgive me. It will never happen again.” I’d never seen her in that state before. This is a woman who had always been stronger and throwing her weight about. I saw true repentance in her eyes so I decided to forgive her, mend her and keep her for myself. I told her, “I have the videos and photos on my phone too. The day you go back to doing that again with her, remember you’ll be out there for everyone to see you.” She responded, “I swear it will never happen again.”

I got my girl back and everything was fine between us. She was always with me even when I hadn’t asked her to come around. I told her to live her life as though nothing had happened. “Don’t act to impress me or do anything to force a certain kind of belief in my head. Just be you, the girl I fell in love with. I just don’t want you around that girl, that’s all.” She changed. Everything she did showed a girl who had turned a new leaf and I think it also helped matters when Diana travelled abroad somewhere along the line. I saw my girlfriend giving her all to her work and to building our relationship. A year later, I trusted her so much I even deleted those photos and videos I kept on my phone. I was scared I might accidentally leak it so I deleted them.

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As I write this, Diana is back in Ghana and she’s back into my girlfriend’s life again. My girlfriend tells me they are just friends and nothing is going on but I don’t believe it. I’ve been bitten by a snake so the shadow of a worm scares me. I told her, “That wasn’t the arrangement. I told you to stay away from her. I didn’t ask you to be just friends with her. I trust your intentions but old flames have a way of rekindling.” My girlfriend won’t take anything I say. Now it’s even worse. When I need her, I have to beg her before she comes to see me. She lies about her whereabouts when everything shows she’s with Diana. I told her, “I still have the videos, remember.” She responded, “I’m tired of you. Do your worse. Can’t I have a life because I’m in a relationship with you? Why are you even bothered this much? It’s not as if I’m doing it with a man. This is a woman for crying out loud.”

Everything shows I’m losing my girlfriend. I’ve fought her on all levels—I’ve used force, I’ve used patience, I’ve used coercion but none is working as I speak. To make matters worse, her friend Diana called to warn me about me trying to take her friend away from her. She said, “You can’t own a human being because you don’t know how to create one. Love is not forced. If you don’t like her because of me, why don’t you leave her?” 

She said the truth, the truth I’m not willing to face because of the love I have for her. Why can’t I leave her? The factors are many. I’ve loved her for a very long time and I’ve built everything around her. She has the kind of vision I want in a woman. She’s hard-working and very stubborn when it comes to what she wants. She helps me a lot. She makes me a better person because she gives me this drive no woman has ever given me. I don’t want to lose her but it’s looking like losing her is the only way out. I asked her to leave me and she said she can’t. If I leave her fine but she can’t do it. 

I’m dying slowly on the inside because of what I’m facing outside. I need help.

—Brother    

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