I was going through my Snapchat when I saw a pretty girl my best friend had posted. “Who is this beauty?” I asked him. “That’s my cousin, Kekeli,” he responded. I was curious about her so I asked him more questions. He mentioned that she lived and schooled in the Volta Region. I live in Accra but friendship knows no barriers, and I wanted to be her friend. So I asked my friend for her Snap handle. He knows me well enough to know that I have a good heart so he did not hesitate to give it to me.

I sent Kekeli a message in the evening and introduced myself to her. She also told me a little about herself. From there, we exchanged photos. I sent her my best but she asked for more. When I told her I didn’t have more, she said, “Then take new pictures and send them to me.” She wasn’t ready to have a conversation with me if I didn’t send her the photos. My friend had to speak to her on my behalf before we eventually broke the back of the beast on this picture issue. I should have known what was coming for me then but I was too naive.

We had an interesting conversation throughout the night and continued the next day. We had similar interests so we did not run out of things to talk about. She loved almost everything I did; music genre, books, and novels. When she asked that we continue our conversation on WhatsApp, I agreed, and things kicked off.

When I realized that I was starting to like her, I made it a point to proceed with caution. This is because of something my friend told me about her concerning her past relationship. She was deeply in love with the guy to the point where she almost took her life when they broke up. I didn’t want the same thing to happen to me so I established healthy boundaries and made sure I did not cross them.

She’s the type that can speak on the phone from dawn to dusk unless she has a class or it’s time for her to attend rehearsal meetings. I told her I don’t have that kind of time on my hands because I do assignments for two of my siblings who are weekend students. By then too I was developing a school website with a friend while focusing on my studies. However, she constantly demanded my attention so I tried to make time for her whenever she needed to talk.

The first Saturday after we met, she called and we talked for almost three hours. We were giving each other Ewe and twi lessons. I schooled in the Volta region so I easily picked up on the few phrases she taught me. She on the other hand struggled with the twi, but I had time so I was patient. When I realized the call had lasted that long I asked her, “Kekeli, are you on a special bundle? ” She told me it was her regular airtime so I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried. We are students after all. To save her airtime, I asked her to hang up so I call her. This girl got angry and yelled, “Is it your airtime? Am I even complaining? Please I don’t like that.” Then she hung up. That was our first fight.

After we made up, she started complaining about little things. “Why are you responding to my text ten minutes after I sent it?” “Why didn’t you pick up your phone when I called?” She even complained if I fell asleep at night while we were chatting. You would think my life and time belonged to her.

While I was still trying to navigate her emotional tantrums, she told me she liked me. “Do you also like me?” I responded as honestly as possible; “Yes Kekeli, I also like you but we’re still getting to know each other. We have only been talking for six days. We haven’t even met each other in person yet. I believe there is no need to rush things. Let’s take our time and build a solid friendship before anything else.” She accepted my response cooly, and we even talked about meeting after our end-of-semester exams.

A few days ago we were having a question and answer session when she asked why I was still single. I answered, “I am not ready to date anyone until I complete school next year.” She got offended and told me, “Have a good night.” I didn’t want things to escalate so I also turned off my data and went to a friend’s room while my phone was on charge.

Later, I returned to my room to see several missed calls from her. She had also sent me an SMS stating I never loved her, and that’s why I was not ready to date her. I tried to explain my reasons to her but she wouldn’t listen. She then proceeded to report me to her cousin.

When my best friend called he joked, “Khartel, wey vibes you dey give my sisto wey she fall give you basabasa like that? Show me make I take give some girl wey dey stress me for here.” I laughed and explained my side of the story to him. He understood me but also advised me not to lead her on if I was not ready to date her.

After that conversation, I let Kekeli understand that I could only offer her platonic friendship and nothing more. She said she understood. However, when I tried to give her space she said I was maltreating her. I thought she was just being dramatic so I told her, “I have had enough of all your baseless accusations. Everything you’ve accused me of is a storm in a teacup. How do you expect me to ever date you when you keep bending fire without any source of heat? Are you an avatar to be conjuring things that don’t exist?”

After I sent her that text, I switched off my data. She called me several times but I couldn’t pick up. The next thing I knew, she sent me a text threatening to unalive herself if I didn’t call her back. I panicked so hard that I called her immediately. I apologized and said some sweet words to pamper her so she wouldn’t do anything crazy.

After she calmed down, her cousin warned her to stay away from me but she refused. She told me, “I can’t go a day without texting you or hearing your voice so I am not going anywhere.” I didn’t know how to handle the situation so I still talked to her at the blind side of my best friend.

One evening, I told her I would be offline because I had to go watch a football match. She replied, “So are you choosing football over me?” I was speechless so I just went offline. She started calling but I knew she wanted us to argue so I rejected all her calls.

After the match, I went home to finish an assignment I was doing for her. When I sent it to her, she thanked me and said she loved me. I told her, “We are friends so let’s keep the vibe this way. If not, then let’s just nip everything in the bud before the red flags increase in number.”

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She begged for a second chance but I was no longer interested in dealing with the stress she brought into my life. She called several times but I didn’t pick up. She sent dozens of messages but I didn’t respond to them. Then she sent me a photo set to view once. When I opened it, it was a photo of a thin cloth tied around a ceiling fan with the caption “I’ll end my life if you leave me.” I ignored her because I thought she was just trying to use the threat of self-harm to manipulate me into dating her.

A few minutes later, I received the next photo. She was holding a knife and the caption read, “I’m serious and I mean it.” So I quickly texted her back telling her to stop all this. I told her to please do away with the knife but she refused to listen. Out of panic, I called her cousin and told him what was going on. When he called her she didn’t pick up. I was too scared to sleep a wink the entire night.

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The next morning, my best friend called to tell me Kekeli had been admitted to the hospital. She had cut her wrists and bled a lot. I was worried about her safety so I called her and spoke to her. “I need you to calm down, okay? I am not going to leave you.” “Do you promise to stay?” she asked. I said yes, all because I didn’t want to make her feel worse.

When I explained the entire situation to her elder sister she said, “Looking at her emotional state right now, you have to pretend you are in a relationship with her.” My best friend, on the other hand, thinks nothing good will come of pretending. He says it will just hurt her more in the future so I should just cut her off now.

Honestly, I’m scared of her. I believe if she hurts herself beyond saving, I will be blamed for it. Her cousin also insists I consider my mental health too and just end everything with her. I feel stuck. What do I do?

— Khartel 

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