I have a girlfriend who loves me deeply. She is caring, attentive, supportive, and always willing to be there for me when I need her. I love her too. She is the woman I envisioned getting married to. She has also been talking about marriage. It should make me happy but I am not sure going ahead to marry her would be a good idea.
Everything was fine between us until I started noticing some red flags. It used to be just us in the relationship but all of a sudden things got crowded. By this, I mean the presence of other men.
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She claimed they were all her friends but I can’t shake the feeling that something is off. And it’s making me question everything we once held dear.
Tell me, how is it normal for a woman in a committed relationship to chat with multiple men? Sometimes she makes video calls with them in my presence. She would talk and laugh as if I were a tree planted by her side instead of the man in her life.
Some of these calls happen at odd hours and she would pick them up. Even if it’s 3 AM and we are asleep, my girl would answer the call. It rubs me off wrongly but in order not to disturb my heart, I ignore her.
I’d tell myself, “Maybe it’s indeed harmless friendships.” But my guts tell me I am just lying to myself.
Among her list of friends, one particular man stands out. She told me about him herself. He is a fifty-year-old married man. He has three children yet he still has time to be hanging around my girlfriend.
She claims they are just friends but their relationship seems too close for comfort. He often gives her rides to work and showers her with gifts. Everything a man gives a woman he is interested in; money, personal items, home appliances, name them.
She insists that there’s nothing between them, but how can I believe her after everything I have seen?
One evening I was at her place when this man showed up unannounced with a gift box in hand. Everything showed he didn’t expect me to meet me there. What would give a man the audacity to show up at a woman’s place unannounced? A married man for that matter. What else does he have the freedom to do that I am not aware of? These thoughts went through my head as we all sat there awkwardly looking at each other.
On her birthday last year, he gave her panties, money, and other presents. That alone was enough to make me uneasy, but it didn’t stop there. She later admitted that he had helped her buy the TV and fridge in her room.
Then, a few weeks ago, something happened that shook me to my core. We were making love, and in the heat of the moment, she moaned his name, “Kwaku, fvck me.” I was stunned into devastation.
When I confronted her, she insisted it was nothing. “It’s just a mistake.” She even tried to downplay the whole thing as if I was supposed to ignore everything.
She keeps telling me she loves me and wants to settle down, yet I don’t trust that she is faithful to me. I feel so torn and confused about what to do with her.
That Is The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Done In The Name Of Love
Apart from all these shady behaviours, I know she is a good woman. She has a good heart and supports me when she can, but the doubts are piling up. I don’t know if I should stick to my guts and let her go or give her the benefit of the doubt.
Family, I need your advice. Am I overthinking this, or is there something deeper going on?
—Caleb
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flip it and listen to the same story as a third person. she is having it with this man and you are just the place holder. there are better women out there who will treat you right.
wise up bro!
Trust your guts. Please end it with her. She is cheating on you period. Like you said red flags are too glaring. Once a cheat and manipulative person always one. No good woman is unfaithful . Run for the hills.
You are the one making love and another man is carrying out the love. Hmm…..n. This is what we mean in Nigeria where we say”SHE IS NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND BUT JUST YOUR TURN TO LOVE”. Mr. Man even devil dey fear women. Run ohh……h.
Married guy is chopping her smoothly. Advise yourself and flee ASAP.
Bro do you need to walk in in them having sex before it hits you in the head that she’s cheating on you. The neon red signs are everywhere glaring at you, but you have decided to remain blind. Chale don’t worry, she’s not cheating on you. It is perfectly normal for women in their twenties to be close friends with married men in their fifties who buy them expensive gifts and show up at their houses unannounced. It’s also perfectly normal to call out their names during sex by mistake. Ignore everyone who tells you otherwise. They are just haters. That man is just like an uncle to her. He’s her god given helper.
The world is not nice to weak men. The world is not nice to nice men. Women will always punish weak men. You’re not only blinded by the things she gives you, Dec, money, assistance and all. Did you sell your manhood that cheap that you can’t tell she’s equally spending the money she’s getting from these men on you? Apply common sense before running into nonsense!! That’s if you’re not gotten yourself into nonsense. Bro, you’re in a relationship with a loose and burst pipe. If someone consistently shows you that they don’t respect you, value you, care about you, honor you … stop trying to paint that red flag white. Love DOES NOT live there and don’t try to convince yourself that they’ll change. That’s NOT your job! REMOVE YOURSELF. Lastly, you’ve shown her that you’re not only a weak simp of a man, you’re dependent on her and your life revolves around hers.
Hmmmmmm, if with all these comments you still can’t understand your situation, then you are in need of some serious help!
Dear SIMPle man,
Trust me, she’s the best for you. Pls marry now before you lose her to that man. Who knows… She could be a virgin too
Ignore everyone and go ahead. She’s the best woman ever. Even if you catch her in bed with Kwesu, it’s not what you think. It’s just a mistake. Marry her asap.
Dear Caleb, I advice u wake up and be a man,u love her she loves u good, her caring for u has blind folded u. How does she get what she uses to care for u, Maybe other men.be wise
Eeeeeeiii. My brother come and let me tell you how it will end. Plse ran and try start afresh don’t look back. Soon the family pple will tell you that you are the enemy of her progress.
Plse move on. But do it slowly. Don’t look back. Secure ur self before you move.