My friend is separated and heading toward divorce with her husband. I never knew she was having marital problems until the separation happened. I think my husband knew about it and figured I already knew, so he also kept it from me.
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She’s living away from her husband in a rented place. She’s good friends with both my husband and me. She knew my husband first, and he connected me to her for business purposes—that’s how we became friends. This was when we were still dating.
Because of the separation, she has become so reliant on my husband that it’s beginning to scare me. She calls in the evening to talk about having panic attacks. She calls during the day to talk about how her husband hurt her. In the morning, it’s about a fight she had with him.
My husband has been attending to her emotionally, giving her advice, and even recommending a therapist for her. She told my husband, “You’re more than my therapist, and I’m good with that.”
I’m not jealous or anything, but I know about trauma bonding; how victims cling to the person they receive help from until one thing leads to another. They’re on the phone all the time, and I believe my husband goes to see her or meets her somewhere. He’s not vocal about these things, and that’s what worries me.
I Was Fine Until I Was Alone In My Room
We’re both friends with her, so why is her issue being kept from me? I understand she’s comfortable talking to my husband because she may want a male perspective, but the fact that he doesn’t tell me what they discuss or when they meet bothers me.
Am I overthinking this? Is insecurity creeping in? Should I take the phone sometime and ask her to talk to me, woman to woman?
—Suz
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What you feel is valid. Have a chat with your husband about being transparent with you because you don’t want to doubt him. He should give the respect and benefit of the doubt. Let him set boundaries. She’s traumatised but I will encourage you to get closer to her so that she can confide in you as a friend.
Seconded
yeah, talk to your husband and tell him to limit communication with her. Also be watchful of your husband movement for one thing can lead to another
A Powerful Love Spells by ADU Priest help Bring Back my Lost husband with Ex-Back Love Spells.
A friend, who calls your husband instead of you, to discuss her emotional issues, and your husband doesn’t tell you about it? hmmm
Look sharp before your kindness turns to your bitterness.
She should first turn to a family member before your husband.
If she doesn’t have one family member to play the role your husband is playing then she is a problem to watch