I am a twenty-two-year-old man who is currently not in a relationship. That’s because I want my peace of mind. I’m in my second year at the tertiary institution so I want to focus on my education. I feel like falling in love or having a relationship will distract me from my path. And I try to instil these values into a group of students who live in a hostel near my house.

Whenever I am on break from school, they get close to me and I advise them. They are secondary school students so I always tell them, “Stay away from men at this stage in your life. They will mess with your life and ruin your education. So focus on school.” They are twenty-three in number and I’m friendly with all of them.

There are times when I assist them with their mathematics assignment and sometimes too, science. Because of the way I relate to them and carry myself around, I can boldly say they really respect me. So in order not to loose their respect, I have decided not to get involved with any of them romantically. Although I have made my number available to them and they call me when they need assistance, I have drawn boundaries they don’t cross.

Sometimes they would come to me and ask, “Please can I use your phone to call my mother?” And some of them use it to call their friends. I don’t mind because I have been in their shoes before. There are others who bring phones to school so they don’t bother me with that. Among all of them, is one girl who  communicates with me the most.

She would contact me even when I am in school. She would ask, “When are you coming home? I want to see you.” At first, I thought it was because she needed help with schoolwork and didn’t have anyone to talk to. But it got to a point where she started saying, “I miss you. I can’t wait to see you again.” Honestly, I thought it was weird but I didn’t make anything out of it.

Currently, school is on break so I am home. And ever since I came home she has been texting me relentlessly. I also text her back. However, she never had anything important to say. So one day I asked her, “You always text me but you don’t say anything. Why?” She responded, “It is because I am shy talking to you.” I wondered what she was shy about but I didn’t ask her anything. I took it as one of those things and moved on.

That weekend, she went home to visit her mum to help her sell at the market. I didn’t expect to hear from her because I thought she would be busy. However, she started texting me again. This time around, it was on a whole different level. The kind of things he sent to me are things someone sends to their boyfriend. I was very confused about her behaviour.

I was even more confused when she asked, “Do you like me?” I responded, “Yes, I like everybody.” She didn’t seem pleased with my answer so I also asked her, “Why? Do you like me?” And she said she liked me. But it wasn’t in the way I thought she meant. She was rather interested in me romantically.

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 She actually said she would want me to be her boyfriend. She said she is eighteen but I see her to be young. I wouldn’t want to distract her from her studies. I too wouldn’t want to be distracted from my school either. But I was so worried that I would hurt her feelings if I turned her down so I agreed to date her.

I’m Afraid She’s Still Seeing Her Ex-Husband | Silent Beads

Yesterday I had the chance to talk to her and she confessed that she loves me because I am hardworking. I am not even sure about how I feel about her. I am just concerned that our relationship is wrong. That’s why I am here. She is in SHS while I am in the university. She says she is an adult but I don’t know that for sure. I want to know if it’s appropriate to be with her. The last thing I want to do is take advantage of a confused teenager who is probably confusing a crush with love. Please what do I do?

—Theo

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