I have been with Akosua for the past three years. She is my ideal woman. I was head over heels in love with her when we started dating. I don’t think she ever did anything wrong in my eyes. She was also good to me. I knew she loved me by the way she treated me. We were perfectly happy. The kind of happiness you see in movies and the kind you read in romance novels. It was always as if we were floating on the clouds.

We were fine. At least that’s what I thought. Then she started talking about going on dates with other men. When I complained she assured she assured me, “Relax, nothing happens between me and them. We just go out and talk.” I objected to this several times but she wouldn’t listen.

One time she went out with a man and came back smelling like him. His cologne was all over. “Why do you smell like a man if nothing happened between you two?” I asked her. She shook her head vehemently and said, “I swear on my life. He didn’t touch me.” I wasn’t there so I just accepted whatever she had to say.

One day we were talking when she told me, “If you meet someone you are attracted to and you want to cheat on me with her, you can do it. Just don’t let me know.” “What are you saying?” I asked, hoping she would tell me it was a joke. However, Akos boldly said; “I am giving you permission to cheat on me. I just want you to make sure that I don’t find out.” I am a one-woman kind of man. So I was very upset when she said those things. However, I didn’t want us to fight so I ignored her.

Now here is my problem. I have told her repeatedly to stop going out with the men but she doesn’t mind me. I feel disrespected when she behaves this way. I believe that she should consider my feelings and wants in this relationship, but she only does it when it favours her. When she goes out with the men they give her huge sums of money so she doesn’t care that it makes me uncomfortable. She even tells me, “This man is like a brother to me. You have nothing to fear.” There have been occasions where she accepted money from men right in front of me.

You must be wondering why I am still with her after everything I have seen. First, she is a good cook. She is also very generous. She has demonstrated so much love toward me by buying me gifts. She always knows what to buy me to make me happy. Apart from that, she always wants to be by my side at any point in time. Shuperu with her is also good. She tries as much as possible to satisfy me at all times.

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We wouldn’t be having problems if only she listened to me and respected me. Another thing that bothers me is her anger issues. She would throw tantrums when she is angry and say all manner of hurtful things, only to turn around and apologize after she had calmed down. I think it’s easier for her to lash out at me because she is older than me a year or two.

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What I believe is, that she is not serious about staying in a relationship that will lead to marriage which is why she is acting in that manner. However, I am having thoughts of marrying her. She doesn’t seem to care about anything concerning marriage. Meanwhile, anytime I tried to break up with her she would apologise. I tend to accept her back looking at how much love she has shown me and also understanding how difficult it is to get a lady who truly loves you in this current age.

I am actually planning on breaking up with her because her repeated mistakes are too much for me now. Please am I making the right decision? I need advice, please.

—Kojo

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