This was not even a breakup. We had a little misunderstanding that led to an exchange of words. She needed me to do something for her on a weekend. I couldn’t promise to do it because I had a wedding to attend. She wasn’t happy that I was choosing a wedding over her so she started talking. She said I was fond of choosing everyone over her which I knew wasn’t true.

I defended myself and then an argument ensued. It went too far than I anticipated. She brought out the history of all the times I’d chosen people over her. To me, those were lies so we argued until tempers went high. She called me names and I did the same too. I got up and left so it didn’t escalate. On my way home, she called and I didn’t respond. She blocked me.

When I realized she had blocked me, I stopped calling her. According to her, she didn’t need my call. She wanted me to return to her place so we talk which I didn’t do. So for four days, we didn’t talk. On the fifth day, I went to her place so we talk things over. She told me, “Unfortunately, I accepted Charles’s proposal while you were away. We’ve been dating since you left me.”

I thought she was playing but she wasn’t. She showed me chats and evidence of Charles’ visits while I was away for just four days. They had gone on three dates and had exchanged gifts and I love yous.

I screamed, “Who does that? So all this while, you wanted me out of the picture so you could date Charles? Was that the plan?”

“You were out of the picture so you can’t blame me,” she answered.

We’ve been at it for weeks. We are back together and everything is cool between us but the only thing persisting now is the presence of Charles in the frame. “I can’t just wake up one day and tell him it’s over,” she told me. “Give me some time to break up with him the right way.”

We are on the second month since she said I should give her some time. They talk. They meet. They go out. The guy visits. She could call and tell me, “Charles would be around so kindly don’t come around. I will break up with him when he comes.”

Charles would visit and she wouldn’t break up with him. When I talk, she will blame me and say, “Did I ask you to abandon me for four days?”

This is so annoying I want to walk out and not come back again. The only reason I’m still hanging around is the fact that I don’t want that guy to feel like he has succeeded in taking my girlfriend.

When he started chasing her, he knew I was with her but he didn’t mind. He even had the audacity to tell her to leave me for him because he was ready to marry her in a year.

Marriage Turned Me Into Who I Was Not

They haven’t had sex yet which she has promised it’s never going to happen. While they haven’t, I would stick around and do my best to push him away but the day it happens and I get to know about it, I will walk away silently and not look back. But for now, I stay and fight for what’s mine.

— Adamu

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