Our first date went well, but she doesn’t want to see me again. She hasn’t said it directly, but she’s been making excuses since our date. I didn’t say anything wrong. I was at my best—the best I’ve ever been since I became a man. She thinks the fault is hers to bear, but I don’t see any fault in what happened. It was funny. I tried to keep things light. I really tried, but now, from the way she’s acting, it’s obvious this may be the end of us.

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After the beautiful date we had, I called an Uber, and the two of us got in. The plan was for me to get out along the way so the Uber could take her to her doorstep. We had a lot to eat and drink, so the laughter came easily and naturally.

I’ve forgotten exactly what I said or did, but she burst out into loud laughter, and while laughing, a fart slipped out. It wasn’t that loud. I don’t think the Uber driver even heard it. She swallowed the remaining laughter and covered her face. I said, “Don’t worry, I didn’t hear anything.” She replied, “I’m sorry. It wasn’t intentional.”

I tried my best to lighten the mood, but it was hard. She didn’t laugh again. Her best response was a grin. I could feel the shift in her mood. Instead of getting out along the way as planned, I stayed with her until she got home. I did my best to reassure her that sometimes farts fail the brakes and come out even when you’re trying to hold them in. She said she was okay, but her actions suggested otherwise.

When I got home, I texted to let her know I had arrived safely. We talked again, but her spirit was down. She kept saying everything was fine, but it didn’t feel that way. We should have ended the night with a lengthy chat that led to deeper conversation, perhaps even a proposal, but that little fart took the wind out of our sails and broke the mast of our beginning.

She doesn’t want another date. Whenever I suggest meeting up, she gives me excuses. When I text her, she responds, but not with the same energy. She says things just to push me away, but I’m not giving up. Not this early. A man once took my girl from me, and it hurt deeply, so I won’t allow a little shameless fart to take this one away too.

That Is The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Done In The Name Of Love

I’m ready to keep pushing until she comes to terms with what happened and accepts it for what it was—an accident. Don’t we all fart? Maybe not on a first date, but we do it all the same.

—Frank

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