There is a proverb that says, “If you want to make God laugh tell him your plans.” It sounds weird but when I look at my life, I believed God laughed very hard when I mapped out the road that I presumed my life would take. His plans for me were not the same as my plans for me. And though the turn of events was disappointing, I had to make the best out of the situation. What am I ranting about? You may ask. Well, when I completed senior high school in my late teens, I believed I would get good grades and further my education.

However, the release of the results made me feel all the years I spent in school were a waste. I studied hard, and I gave the exams my best, but the outcome was nothing good to write home about. In order to pursue higher education, I would have to rewrite all the subjects. But I was too disheartened to go through that again so I decided to find something to do so I could earn money. I did a few things here and there, but none of them stuck until I ventured into painting. Painting people’s houses was sort of therapeutic for my soul. The satisfaction of transforming a surface from something unappealing into something beautiful was what drove me. My ability to use my hands to make an old-looking building into something new also fascinated me. Not to mention that the money I earned helped me to survive, and save something for my future.

I worked as a painter for many years. But at age of twenty-seven, I realized that it wasn’t the dream. The problem was, I couldn’t pursue my dreams without pursuing higher education, and to do that I had to rewrite my WASSCE. It was a fate I couldn’t escape. So I made inquiries about schools and classes. Finally, I enrolled in secondary school at Kpando, in the Volta Region. This was in last year. I joined the third-year class but I was too old to stay in the dormitory so I was given accommodation at the teachers’ quarters.

It was during my stay there that I met a lady called Jane. Like me, she was also there to rewrite her WASSCE. We lived in the same house in the quarters. She mostly kept to herself. After school, she would shut herself in her room and only come out when it was necessary. That was something I liked about her. It gave me the impression that she wouldn’t be someone who would go looking for trouble. So I got close to her, and we started talking. From our daily conversations, the seed of love was planted. But we didn’t want to get distracted from our purpose in school, so we kept things light.

We didn’t even have our first shuperu until we completed school. After that, I returned to Accra to continue my work as a painter while I awaited my results. Jane was living in Kpando so that’s where she stayed until she came to Accra to visit her sister. That was when we both gave all our efforts to make the relationship beautiful. She didn’t have a job or any source of income so I took it upon myself to help her start something. I asked her; “What do you want to do?” She answered, “If there is one thing that sells very well in my hometown then it’s alcohol. So I am thinking of establishing a small drinking bar. The reason I haven’t done it yet is the money to start.” I told her, “I don’t mind taking care of you, but I also want you to be financially independent. So look into the cost of starting the business and let me know.”

We looked into the cost and it took all of my savings to pull something together for her. By the time she went back to her hometown earlier this year to start the business, I had nothing left for myself. Things were hard but took comfort in the knowledge that I made a sacrifice for the woman I love. “If she succeeds, it’s for our future,” I thought. A few weeks after she established the business I noticed that she started withdrawing from me. I complained several times, “Why don’t you return my calls these days? What is going on?” Jane told me, “You know that I am running a business now. I am no longer as available as I used to be, so quit nagging me all the time.” I was hurt by her response but I didn’t talk.

I had to attend a funeral at Kpando so I was happy that I would get to see her. On my way, I bought her a smartphone because she didn’t have one. I felt the phone would make our long-distance relationship more bearable. At least we would see each other’s photos and have video calls. But I was wrong. Jane changed for the worse when she got the phone. She wouldn’t answer my calls or reply to my texts. As for video calls, she never answered even one. When I complained, she used the business as an excuse and then called me a nagging boyfriend again. But I didn’t relent. I kept pushing her to tell me if something was wrong. Eventually, she told me; “It’s about the father of my child. He wants to come back.” “Do you still love him?” I asked. She went silent for a while before answering, “I don’t know.”

READ MORE: Sometimes, You Have To Let Go Before You Can Welcome Happiness Into Your Life

I told her to take her time and think about things, but in my heart, I hoped she would choose me. I waited for her answer for weeks but she kept dragging her feet. And then we argued one day and I asked if she was seeing her baby daddy behind my back. Jane got angry and said; “Are you accusing me of cheating on you? So you don’t trust me. Well, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me. It’s over between us.” I apologized several times but she refused to take me back. I loved her to no avail so I refused to give up. Whatever she asked me for, I got for her. I did all this in hopes that she would take me back but she never did.

Now my problem is, whenever the business is not doing well and she needs money I am the one she calls. I still care about her so I always give her whatever she asks of me. The other day I asked her, “You say you don’t want me so why do you keep asking me for money? I already set up a business for you. What more do you want from me?” She told me, “I don’t know why I keep asking you for money. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a boyfriend. I am still considering whether or not to take you back so I haven’t said yes to any man.” Her indecisiveness is making me confused. Please what do I do? Should I continue to give her money? Or should I stop?

— Jamie

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