She Disabled Her Love For Me Because I Wasn’t Physically Challenged

One early morning, I saw her at the bottom of the staircase. She was sitting in a wheelchair, contemplating how to get up there. A lot of people passed her by but they didn’t stop to ask what she needed. I got there, looked at her and she looked away. I asked, “Do you need help?” She answered, “No, I’m waiting for a friend.” I nodded and climbed up, leaving her where I met her. I went to the administration to check on something. When I got to the bottom of the stairs again, she was still there. I smiled and she smiled back. I asked, “Are you sure your friend is coming any time soon?” She answered, I called her a few minutes ago and she said she was on her way coming.” I told her, “The help I will give you wouldn’t be different from the one your friend will give you so let me help you.” 

I held the back of her wheelchair and started pushing her up. The reason she didn’t want me to help was that there was a trick to it which her friend knew too well. I didn’t know it so it was difficult. She told me what to do and slowly we got to the top where she was attending lectures. She thanked me and I left her there. The next time I saw her again on campus, she screamed, “Eii my friend, it’s been a long time. How are you?” 

She was in the midst of friends but she spent time talking to me and even introduced me to her group of friends as her new friend. Since then we met often and exchanged hellos and how are you. One day we exchanged contacts and started talking on the phone. My hostel was closer to her lecture block so sometimes I’ll go and wait for her beneath the staircase and we’ll talk. I’ll help her go up and sometimes when she’s stranded at the top, she’ll call me and I’ll go and help her. One day she asked me, “Why don’t you visit me at my hostel one of these days?

The following weekend I was there in her hostel. She cooked a beautiful meal and she served me. That was my first time seeing her full body because she was in a short dress that exposed her fragile legs. She said, “Polio. I’ve had it since I was a child. If I followed the suggestions of people and listened to what they told me, I would have been by the street begging for arms but look at me now, going through the hustle to earn my degree.” Her story was motivational and I fell in love with her drive to succeed. One morning, I saw her call on my phone. She said, “I fell down the stairs so I’m at the hospital.” I rushed to the hospital and stayed with her until she was discharged later that day.

What I was feeling for her wasn’t just friendship. It was deeper than that. I was thinking of her more often than I thought about anything. I hatched a plan to let my feelings known to her. When she was at the hostel and recuperating, I went to her every day. One evening I told her; “I think I’m in love with you. I want you to be my girlfriend.” She looked at me and smiled. She said, “Come off it. Stop joking with me. What do you see in me that you want me as your girlfriend? Please, if that’s a joke, it’s not funny.”

Her problem was how people will think when they see us together. “Won’t your friends laugh at you? Can you honestly take me home and introduce me as your girlfriend? Will they accept me?” I took my time and explained everything to her. “I’m convinced they’ll accept you. It’s not what they see. It’s what I see in you and what I feel for you?” Slowly she came to accept my explanation and we started dating. It was beautiful the way things were. A lot of people doubted us but I believed she was the one. She was a year ahead of me but I was older. She completed school and left me on campus but our love story never ended there. 

I visited her often on weekends. Her parents warmed up to me, especially her dad. He always had kind words to say to me as if I was doing them a favour by being in the life of their daughter. I’ll try to take her out and she would say no. I will insist. She’ll give me all the reasons why she thought it wasn’t a good idea to go to where I was suggesting. “It’s going to be awkward. How can u go to a place like this with a wheelchair? I hate it when I’m not in control. I don’t like it when I have to be vulnerable in the eyes of the world.” I won’t listen to her. I’ll wait until she gets ready and then I will push her away. I love to see her smile and was ready to go all out for her. 

I was doing my national service when she started working with an NGO. She was in Accra and I was posted to a school in Konongo in the Ashanti region. I was coming home often because of her. When it got hard and my finances couldn’t support it, she came to my aid. It got to a time when she started talking to me about the new people she had been meeting. There was one constant name she mentioned in every conversation we had. She said, “He’s just like you, kind and warm towards me. He helped me one day and we became friends.” I was happy for her because she wasn’t a person who opens up easily to people. Whenever she met someone new, whether a guy or a girl, we celebrated it like a milestone. 

Things started changing along the line. If I didn’t call her she wouldn’t bother. I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me so one day I decided not to call for the whole day. She didn’t call or even text. Late in the night, I sent her a message, “You’ve changed. You don’t call like you used to. What’s happening to you? Life is so good that you’re forgetting about me?” I thought she’ll be sleeping then but she came to read my text and ignored me. The following morning when I called, she accused me of acting like a kid, “You sound like an over-pampered kid. You nag too much. What’s wrong if I don’t call and you call me? Is it not the same conversation we’ll have regardless?” 

I went to visit her one day and my fear was confirmed. Everything had changed. She couldn’t look at my face and talk to me. This is a woman who never bothered to put a password on her phone. Even when I tried convincing her to do it she asked me, “What do I have to protect apart from my life?” She never did but that day I realized she had put a password on her phone. I told her, “Be honest with me, I know things are not the same. We don’t have to keep lying. Tell me, do you need space? Should I stay away for a while so you figure yourself out? I’m human, I’ll understand you.” 

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Her face was on the floor when she nodded in affirmation to my question. My heart jumped out of place. All of a sudden my mouth turned sour. I couldn’t believe her answer was going to be that quick. I started staying away while watching everything unfold on her Whatsapp status. She had found a new community, new friends and new colleagues she was enjoying life with. One person was consistent. She posted him often. One critical look and you realize that guy too was physically challenged. I asked her one day, “Is he the one?” She ignored my message. I called her dad and told him everything. He was so shocked he burst out laughing. “She’s giving you attitude because she’s in love with another physically challenged man? I’ll talk to her.” 

A day later she called and was very angry, “Are you a kid? You ran to my father thinking he decides my life for me? You got it all wrong. Go on with your life while I go on with mine. After all, this isn’t leading us anywhere.” I was calm. I asked the questions I needed answers to. According to her, I didn’t take her to meet my parents because I was embarrassed about her but this guy took her home just a week after meeting her. She also thought at some point I’ll listen to society and abandon her. I told her, “You have valid fears but why didn’t we discuss them? Do you think the best solution is to brush me off? Anyway, I wish you well.”

I had completed service and was jobless. All I needed was a job to turn my life around. To avoid being broken, I invested all my time in looking for a job. It hurt but I tried to forget. I’m sharing this story because after a year and a half, she called to say sorry and that she didn’t know what she was thinking. Her relationship didn’t work because according to her, the guy had a crazy temper. All I said was, “I’m sorry, another man will come along and make things right.” I sighed when I hung up the call. It was tiring talking to her.