When women do heroic deeds, we call them heroines. However, it doesn’t feel right to me to call Maa Rose a heroine. So I refer to her as my hero. Someone like her cannot be confined to a specific gender role. This is because she has played the role of both mother and father to me and my younger brother. Raising kids in a two-parent household is not easy, so how much more raising them as a single mum with no support from their father?

It isn’t that my father was not alive when we were young or that he did not have the means to provide for us. The man had everything it took to be a responsible father but he chose to abandon us when my mother left him. I was quite young when she left. My younger brother was barely one year old at the time too. We both didn’t have the mind to comprehend what happened. My mother also never spoke ill of my dad for us to know that he was at fault.

The only thing she did not hide from us was that she was the sole provider of all our needs. Providing those needs did not come on a silver platter for her. She went through so much but she never gave up. She would tell us, “My life is this hard because I don’t have any formal education. That is why I am striving hard for the two of you to go to school and make something out of yourselves so you can have a better life than I am giving you.” And she went ahead to back these words with her actions.

She broke her back to give us the basic, secondary, and tertiary education she never had. I have seen her go from grace to grass because of us. When all hope seemed lost, she sold her personal belongings to keep us in school. When she was not selling her stuff, she was selling plantain, banana, and anything that was in season. It got to a point where she risked her life by traveling on the Volta Lake without a life jacket. She would be gone every two weeks just so she could buy, smoke, and fry fish to come and sell.

People mocked her because she was always taking loans but could not pay back. I have seen her lost in thoughts so many times because of life. Sometimes when we were all asleep, she would wake up in the middle of the night and pray. Sometimes she would sit and stare blankly unaware that I had trained my eyes to watch her in the dark.

In all this, her mantra was; “Never give up. God is in control.” My mother’s attitude toward challenges and this mantra of hers has been my guide through life. I have learned to be calm and adapt to every situation because of her.

I remember asking her once why she left my father when we could have been well provided for if we had stayed with him. That was when she spoke of his cruelty. “Ekow was a baby back then, barely a year old. He was very sick and his temperature was off the roof. Your father’s car was packed in the compound so I went to call him and asked him to take us to the hospital. By then he was in another woman’s room, probably in her arms. I knew but that was not my concern. I just wanted my baby to get medical care. So I turned a blind eye and asked him to drive us to the nearest clinic.

“Ewura, do you know that your father refused to go? Our son was dying but he chose that woman over his responsibility as a father. Even if Ekow was not his child kroaa, what happened to his humanity? I had to strap the sick baby to my back and walk in the sun for an hour to get to the clinic. When I got there I received the insults of my life from the nurses. They thought I intentionally kept my sick son at home till the situation got worse. If only they knew.” She then asked me if it would have been wise for her to stay with my father after that incident.

I was so sad and surprised at the same time. Sad because I couldn’t believe a man like that birthed me. Surprised because my mother never did or said anything to make us hate our father. Even after she shared her story with me, she still spoke of him in a neutral light. We didn’t hear any bad word from her against him till he died. And we all know that nobody speaks ill of the dead.

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They say in all things we give thanks to God. Despite his irresponsible behaviour that fateful day, my brother survived. He is now a wonderful twenty-four-year-old man who is studying at the School Of Hygiene. After she left my dad, she never remarried. When I asked her why, she said she did not want anyone to maltreat us. A mother like this, who can find?

The most inspiring part of her life for me was the way she took care of other children. She took in a lot of stray kids from the riverside even though we were struggling as a family. There was a time when we were eleven children living at home with her. That’s how far her kindness stretches. I am now a professional teacher because of her sacrifices. This is why I always say that Maa Rose is the perfect gift from God to us.

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She turned fifty on 1st May and I just have to share her story with the world. Help me thank God for her life. And say a prayer for her for me, that she will live a very long and healthy life to enjoy the fruits of her labour.

Thank you so much for being an amazing mother, my dearest. I can’t wait to complete your joy.

May God continue to bless all hard-working parents, especially single parents. May you not die prematurely but live in perfect health to enjoy the fruit of your labour. We love you so much.

— Ewura

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