Two years ago, I proposed to Belinda and she told me she had a boyfriend. I didn’t push it any further. I withdrew silently and concentrated on how to get my life in a better place. She came by often and we talked. She told me not to withdraw because of her boyfriend. I told her, “If I were your boyfriend, I wouldn’t like to see another guy around you, especially a guy who has expressed interest in you. She told me, “Don’t worry. My boyfriend has no issues with that.”

I didn’t want to stick around her knowing how I felt for her so slowly we drifted. I saw her less and less until there was no thread to bind us together. I saw her often on social media. Everything about her showed that she was a happy girl. I was happy for her though I couldn’t have her.

Two months ago, I had a call from her. She asked, “Are you in the house?” I said, “No I’m around town but I will be going home very soon. She said, “I want to see you. Can you come around?” I got anxious. I asked, “See me? Is anything the matter?” She said, “Oh nothing is the matter. I haven’t seen you in a long while. You came to mind and I decided to check on you.” When I was going home I passed by her house, just to know why she wanted to see me.

She said, “Thank you for coming. I needed to talk to someone.” I asked, “What’s the matter with you? Are you alright?” She said, “Yeah I’m alright. Trust me, I’m very fine.” She went to her bedroom and came back wearing a very short dress. She sat next to me and started being touchy. I was confused for a while. “What’s this girl trying to do?” I told her, “There’s someone waiting for me in the house, so I have to go.” She asked, “Your girlfriend?” I said, “Naa not my girlfriend. A relative came by to collect something from me.”

I ran out of her room and rushed toward my house. Later in the night, she called me. She wasn’t coherent. I was getting more confused. She said, “Two years ago you proposed to me. I had a boyfriend then that’s why I said no. Is that proposal still valid or you have someone else?” I asked her, “Where is your boyfriend?” She said, “Oh that boy? The relationship didn’t work and I don’t want to talk about it.

The sudden nature of her turn around made me suspicious. I thought maybe she was pregnant and looking for a man to give the pregnancy to that’s why she was doing all that. I took it slowly with her to see what the issue was. She kept asking me if the proposal was still valid. She said, “I’m not forcing it on you. If you don’t want me again, that’s fine. After all, we are both adults. We only have to talk about it and move on.

When I realized she was getting frustrated by my indecision, I soften my stands with her. One night, we kissed while returning home from a date. Another night, she visited and didn’t leave until the weekend was over. She asked me, “So are we together now?” I said, “Yes we are. I’m very glad that we could finally come back together.

The first two weeks of our love story were more than anything I’d ever experienced with any woman in my life. Life with her was spontaneous. We didn’t plan things. We just say it and the next minute we would be on our way going. That’s how come we were able to make love at the beach, kiss in a taxi with the passengers looking at us, and finally made out at the backseat of a moving trotro. All these happened within the first two weeks that we agreed to be together.

By the third week of our relationship, I was so in love with her that I couldn’t let a second pass without thinking of her. One day I realized that I was the only one doing the calling. She wasn’t hyper about the relationship as she used to. I asked her, “It’s everything alright?” She said, “Yeah I’m fine. Why do you ask?” I said, “I’m not feeling you these days. It’s like you’ve slowed down.”

I thought things would change for the better. It didn’t. She kept missing my calls and kept giving me excuses. She canceled on me thrice in a week. I wasn’t going to sit down without knowing what the issue was. So, one evening I went to her house to ask questions. She said, “I can’t keep lying to you. I and my boyfriend got back together.” I asked, “How and when did that happen?” She said, “He came back recently. It’s been tough for me but I guess giving him another chance is the best thing I could give to myself.”

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Our end happened as quickly as our beginning. I tried to get her to change her mind and be with me. I told her, “This is a guy who left you without a reason. I’ve been here for you in these few days and I’ve been able to prove to you that I can love you better.” She said, “The truth of the whole matter is that he didn’t leave me. We had one or two misunderstandings and as a result, stopped talking to each other. The pain was too much for me so I thought the best way to deal with it is to have another man in my life. You’re a good guy. You don’t deserve that. I’m sorry.

The relationship lasted for only one month but I still can’t get over what happened. Some days I get very angry over the way that girl led me on. It hurts me to know that she’s now happy and I’m the one suffering. I want to do something to hurt her relationship. I have the flirty conversations we had and those steamy photos she sent to lure me into a relationship. I want to send them to her boyfriend so he knows what she did while they were not together. I want to affect the foundation of their relationship so she knows how it hurts. I’ve told her what I’m going to do and she had begged me not to do it but that doesn’t stop the hurt I feel.

I don’t know how long I can hold myself from doing it but I know it wouldn’t be long until I draw her boyfriend’s attention to what happened between his girlfriend and me. We both deserve whatever comes upon us. I can’t suffer alone.

–Ghartey

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