Becky and I started dating when we were in school. We were young and clueless, but as time went on, it became clear that we were meant for each other. We completed school, did our national service, and remained together. Right after national service, she landed a job while I was still home, hunting for one.

She had so much faith in me that she disobeyed her parents to be with me. Her father advised her to look elsewhere, insisting it wasn’t possible for us to get married. Her mother asked her to pray for a better partner—someone who wasn’t me.

Two years after I’d been at home, Becky sent me a job opening she thought I was qualified for. The opportunity came from a company where one of her friends worked. Her friend was in HR, so after I applied, Becky gave my CV to her friend personally.

I got called for an interview and landed the job a few weeks later. I was so happy I couldn’t contain myself. But when my first salary came, I didn’t manage it wisely. It seemed so huge that I started spending recklessly—on myself and on other women. By the time I got involved with a third woman, Becky caught me.

She found me with the woman at my place. Although nothing intimate was happening at that moment, the woman fought back when Becky questioned who she was. Becky didn’t utter a word. She left my compound and never came back. That was the end of our relationship.

Six years of love and commitment went down the drain. No apology would work. We had been just one year away from marriage. The plan was for me to get a job, work for a year, and then get married. Instead, I got the job, earned money, and squandered it on other women.

When Becky left, my life was never the same. Without her to keep me grounded, I spiralled, doing reckless things to distract myself from the pain. To this day, my life hasn’t improved. The women I’ve dated since then didn’t know my past or where I needed to draw the line. We date, then either they leave, or I leave.

Three years later, I’m still at ground zero. Becky, on the other hand, is thriving. She’s engaged to a pastor she met online. The last time we spoke, she told me, “I never forgave you, and I don’t think I ever will. You’re the reason I hated men who came into my life. It took the grace of God for me to open up to this one.”

She Came To Do Industrial Attachment

Her words made me shudder. Knowing I caused her so much pain is unbearable. Since Becky left, I’ve never cheated on another woman. The thought of cheating tastes like gravel in my mouth now. I tell my friends, “It’s all fun until you lose the only one.” They laugh it off and say, “Girls come, girls go. Who’s the only one?”

They don’t understand. But one day, they’ll learn the hard way that some women aren’t just fleeting lights at the end of the tunnel—they’re the light within the tunnel itself.

— Jude

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