Reaction: Please Help Me Get My Man Back

If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

It’s easy for people on social media, especially Facebook to just read one side of a story and decide that the other person is bad. After reading Hertho’s story, a lot of people concluded that I am a cheat and that I left her for another woman. Some people said I am a man who does not forgive so why would she want me back? Honestly, I ask myself the same question but not  for the same reason. I am not looking for validation or seeking to clear my name. I just want to tell you my version of events, so that next time you don’t shout “Crucify him” when you’ve only heard one person’s side of the story.

Yes, we met and started talking on 5th August 2022. And just as she said, things were incredibly good between us. I was crazy about her. I wanted us to have it all; successful careers, marriage, kids, and everything in between. We were perfectly happy until my ex called me out of the blue without my permission or consent. I answered the call but I didn’t even talk to her for more than two minutes. The moment I explained to Hertho that the person who called was my ex she started monitoring me.

So it happened one day that, a lady called me and asked for a favor. After that call, Hertho took the lady’s number and asked her about her relationship with me. This lady who is just a friend was so confused that she didn’t know what to say. It didn’t end there. She started checking my call log and took it upon herself to call anyone who called me and asked them about their relationship with me. Our relationship was fairly new then. She didn’t know my sister or friends at that time so I was hoping she would come to know all the women in my life and change. However, that never happened. Why was she with me if she didn’t trust me?

Truly, she was unemployed when I met her. So I took care of her. When she came to live with me she had nothing. She couldn’t even afford to buy matches until I gave her money. Imagine taking care of someone’s needs while they make your life hell. It is frustrating. So it got to a time when I became tired of her behavior.

I forgave her every time she crossed a line but for how long should I continue to do that? This is someone who took a client’s number from my phone and asked her if anything was going on between us. This client is close to my boss, so you can imagine how much trouble that caused me at work. I am still trying to resolve things at work as I write this.

Last year in December, someone gave her GHC2200. She gifted me GHC200 out of it. I went to visit her later and she said her money is missing so I must have taken it. I felt so bad that my own girlfriend would do this to me. Did our problems end there? No, they got worse. Again I ask, why does she want to be with me if I am a liar, a thief, and a cheat?

Maybe she doesn’t want to let me go because she doesn’t want to do anything that will fetch her money. I am the one who provided her with everything while she fought with me about things I haven’t done. I could spend GHC21 on food for her and spend GHC7 on my own food. That was how much I sacrificed for her.

As for the issue of the day she left my house, I watched her leave because she had a habit of storming off every time we were having problems. Every little thing, she would pack her bags and say, “I am leaving.” Sometimes she would do this at midnight and I would have to beg her to stay even if she was at fault. I am human, so I finally got tired and asked her to leave the last time she left. I am not perfect, I know this. But she can attest to all the ways she worried me.

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To everyone who said she deserves better, don’t you think I deserve better too? Do I deserve to be with a woman who gets angry when I send money to my mother? This same woman tore a shirt I was wearing when we had a little misunderstanding. One time she got and cracked my phone with her teeth. If she is doing all this while we are not yet married, then what would she do to me if I put a ring on her finger?

The last thing she did that sent me off the edge was when she called my pastor at 11:00 PM and told him to advise me. I had joined the church in less than two months. I didn’t even know my pastor’s number. Somehow Hertho found the pastor on Facebook, took his number from his page, and called him at that ungodly hour. Who does that?

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Whatever she said to my pastor painted me black in his eyes. The man now sees me as a bad person. Do we keep forgiving someone who refuses to learn from her mistakes?

I understand that we have individual differences. If any of you can tolerate what she’s doing, that’s fine, but I cannot.

My point is, I am no longer interested in the relationship. Those who will judge me should judge me. But I am at peace with my decision and that’s all that matters to me.