I started spending nights with him when I started weekend school. His place is closer to my school so Fridays after work, I’d jump into a car, go and spend the weekend with him so I can attend classes on Saturdays and Sundays. So for the past four months or so, I spend my weekends with him even when I don’t have classes on certain weekends.

When we started dating, intimacy was far and rare because we didn’t see each other as often as we do now. I could handle that. I would visit him but not sleep over. Even my parents wouldn’t allow me to sleep over in a man’s house so currently, I’ve lied to them that I share a room with a female colleague when I go to him on weekends.

He’s lying. I like bathing. In my house, I bathe two to three times a day depending on how the day goes. If I didn’t bath the way he described me in his story, I would have been a walking salted fish. Mɔmɔne. I bathe and I do it consistently.

It’s only when I’m in his house that I don’t like to bathe and I have my reasons. My boyfriend wouldn’t be intimate with me until I shower. It’s his fetish. He hates to see me bathing. He can finish me now and I would walk to the bath. By the time I come back and he sees me dressing up, he would like to do it again. You can fight. You can push or shove him. Nothing will stop him when he wants to have a bite of the cherry.

Protection is not part of his language. He would do it and ask me to protect myself. The rate at which I was taking pills on weekends scared the hell out of me but I had no choice because I didn’t want to get pregnant at this moment in life.

I developed a strategy not to bathe when I’m with him. It pains me that I’m letting this secret out because of how popular his story has become but I have to defend myself. I don’t bathe as often as he wants me to because anytime he asks me to go and bathe, he doesn’t do it because he wants my welfare. He does it because he wants to knack. It’s his selfish interest that I bathe, not because he wants the best for me.

So I would resist. I won’t enter the bathroom not because I don’t want to bath ooo. I won’t enter because it’s my way of resisting intimacy. How can a woman like me not like bathing? I read the story and I laughed all day. Anytime I remember what he said in the story, I laughed and later settled with a smile. I would let the smile freeze on my face because how would a man I’m with believe that I don’t like bathing?

I’m a corporate woman. I’m an assistant to a white woman. I receive visitors on her behalf and attend meetings with her to take minutes for her. I’m always at my best because I meet people and engage with people. He met me through my work. If I didn’t like bathing, he would have known the very day he met me. You see he couldn’t say anywhere in the story that I had a smell on me? If I didn’t like bathing, I should have had a bad smell right?

Sometimes when I’m with him, I bathe at his blindside because I don’t want him to know that I’ve bathed. I would bathe quickly and rush into the old clothes I was wearing before he comes in from wherever he went. To him, I hadn’t bathed because I was wearing old clothes. That’s what I did that made him say from Friday to Sunday I bathed only once. When he was out and doing his thing, I was inside trying to protect myself from becoming a snack. If hunters have learned not to miss, birds have also learned not to perch.

When it became consistent and he couldn’t have intimacy for close to a month, he decided to use money as bait. I’m a woman, I love to be given money so I agreed to do it. But that day I was ovulating. I was in a position where I didn’t need to joke with my life because anything at all could happen. When he came to bed to see me pressing on my phone, he asked when I was going to bath. I said I would do it when I was ready. He started getting pushy, “It’s late, go and bath. You like doing that too much. Remember we have a bet.”

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I simply replied, “Keep your money let me keep my body.”

It’s the only way I can be in control of intimacy. He expects it every morning and day once I’m with him. Whenever I come from the bathroom, he would rush to have a bite. I could be sitting my somewhere minding my business, he would bait me to the bathroom and by the time I return, he would be waiting for me.

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I read the comments with him as he said. I was laughing my gut out because I knew what I was doing. That very evening, I told him the reason I was doing that since he was worried about my attitude towards bathing. I didn’t want it to affect the future of our relationship so I came clean to him that evening. I told him the reason I don’t bathe when he’s with me. I insisted it wasn’t going to change because of this unless he gives me control as to when and how often we do it.

To me, it was an opportunity for me to press the reset button and I did. We’ve made some concessions. We’ve made a pact that the two of us are going to go by. If he sticks to his part of the bargain, he wouldn’t have to pay me money before I bathe. I will bathe morning, afternoon and night. Even if he wants me to sleep in the bathroom, I would sleep with the shower on.

— Ara

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