They say as human as we are, you must accept it when you mess up. That way you can work on changing for the better. That is why I am here to admit that I am the problem in my marriage. I’m not going to lie or pretend that I am the victim in this situation. I married a good woman. God-fearing too. I am crazy about her but my actions have driven her away from home. And now she won’t speak to me. I know she is one of the avid readers on this page so I’m sending her a message through this medium in hopes that she’ll know how deeply I regret my actions.
I am a young pastor in one of the churches here in Ghana. That is where I met Nadia. She was the choir leader. I knew I wanted to marry her right from the moment I saw her. The way she carried herself around with poise and grace was everything I wanted in a wife. When I started talking to her, I became more enamored of her. I liked the way her mind worked, I still do. We easily became friends.
I was hoping if she got to know me, she would like me enough to accept my proposal if I was ready to take that step. However, after two years of friendship, she turned me down when I asked her to marry me. By that time, I had gotten to know her better. Her kindness, and humility, coupled with all her other qualities had me willing to do anything to win her heart.
I was not deterred by her rejection. I came back more prepared and determined but once again her answer was, “No, I just see you as a friend. I don’t want to marry you.” Still, I refused to accept it. I would come back stronger and each time she would turn me away.
This went on until one day I asked her, “Nadia, do you know why I have decided not to give up on the idea of us? It’s because I don’t want to disobey God.” I remember the disbelief on her face when she asked, “What do you mean?” I seized the opportunity to tell her, “My proposal to you is an act of obedience to God. You see, he revealed to me that you are the woman I am supposed to marry.” It was a lie but it worked. She agreed to give me a chance after that conversation.
She gave me the condition that we wouldn’t have shuperu until marriage. It was difficult to do but I agreed to do it anyway. While I convinced her that I would abstain, I was busy having carnal knowledge of other ladies. I flirted with some and slept with those who avail themselves. I thought I would get away with it but she found out a week before marriage. She saw messages between me and some of these girls. They were explicit enough to tell her what was going on.
She wanted to call off the wedding but I didn’t let her. I apologized persistently until she forgave me. I promised her I would change and that I only did it because we were not intimate. Unfortunately, I didn’t stick to my promise after marriage. Once I had tasted the thing, I didn’t want to give it up. She did everything a dutiful wife is supposed to do but it was not enough for me. I continued to cheat on her with any woman I fancied.
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When she caught me doing things with other women, I used anger as a defense mechanism and abused her. Because I was cheating on her, I wanted to make sure she was not doing the same thing. I hacked her phone and accessed her WhatsApp. I didn’t find anything. You would think I would let it go but no. I wanted to keep an eye on her. So I forced her to quit her job and become a housewife. She didn’t want to do it but I made life hell for her until she did.
Recently, I read her messages and found out that she has been talking to her ex-boyfriend. I became possessed with some anger that I couldn’t control. I am not proud to admit this but I put her in the hospital. After she was discharged she refused to come home. Instead, she went to her grandparents’ place.
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I thought she only needed some time to cool off but once again I was wrong. She says she is not coming back. I know I should let her go but I am not ready to give up on our marriage. We are not yet one year into the marriage so how can I watch it all burn? Her absence has taught me how horrible I have been to her.
Nadia, I am sorry. I know what I did was wrong. You don’t deserve anything I put you through. Nobody deserves to be disrespected that way. I am filled with regret. Please give me one more chance to do better by you. I know you are still talking to your ex but I don’t care anymore. I just want us to work on our marriage. So stop talking about divorce and come back home, please.
— Michael
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This Michael is definitely not an angel of the Lord, he bi counterfeit. Nadia, don’t go anywhere
What loving God would give a woman a man like you😭
Nadia, I beg you in the name of God, don’t go back to him
Her absence has not thought you how terrible youve been, it has taught you she has a choice and you cannot control her.Nadia, averagely an abused victim will go back 7 times before they are able to break free.Please dont add to those statistics, theres nothing tying you to him, please walk away and dont look back.He will not change
You need to work on yourself. Get therapy and work out your demons. Keep her posted on your efforts and when you are healed you may try again. There are no guarantees and if she still declines know that a better version of yourself will be available to treat any woman right.
Nadia, if you can read this comments, I’m so sorry for what you have gone through on the hands of this supposed man of God. If you were somehow related to me, I promise you this dude would also have been put in the very hospital with you.
Anyway, within just a single year of marriage and you’ve been put in the hospital bed for assault for technically no fault of yours? Now, imagine after 3 years when the passion has died down….
You can decide to choose a peaceful bed of your old self, a hospital bed, or a ‘coffin’ bed.
I hope you sit down quietly, pray and make a damn good choice. Oh, before I end, you remember the Nigerian gospel singer who was allegedly abused to death by her partner? You’ve heard the pastor here in the US who allegedly shot his wife to death?
If you listen to too much please, you may be signing your own death warrant or your physical disability warrant. I rest my case
People are using the name of God to do things paa. Hmm. I’m out of words mpo. Your best position is to find yourself in Christ before you think of the next step. Any foundation outside Christ will lead to distraction. Be it emotions or desires. Kindly find yourself before you ask her back or the cycle will continue. May the Good Lord have mercy on you and restore you unto Himself
Nadia, please run !!!, remember all the times he said sorry and didn’t change ,it’s the same thing. Just 1 year he has already put you in the hospital, can you stay with someone like this for the rest of your life ?. And you , you call yourself a pastor mtweew.
Mike don’t just talk . If I were your wife I won’t mind you because you have proven to be a lier . Just do the action. First work on yourself and also add prayers to it. If she doesn’t accept you back then let things be. Did you love her at all or you married her to destroy to kill or destroy her life?. Please stop being a pastor wai because even someone who is of the world won’t be this wicked and cruel to her.
Listen and Listen well. You are disqualified from ministry. You can no longer be a pastor. You are a liar and cheat. You used the name of God to fool a woman to accept your proposal. You don’t deserve her. Give her a divorce. Go to the elders, confess your sins and resign from ministry forever. There are a whole lot of you fools who are hiding behind Pastor and Man of God to commit all kinds of sins. May you cup be fool, may God expose you all. Wifey, if you read this message, dont go back. There shall be no forgiveness here. Divorce him and tell the elders all that he has been doing, so he can learn some sense. This is not the time for ‘fa ma nyame, fa ma nyame.’ this guy lied to you in the name of God. He has been committing fornication but wants to control you and have you all for himself. He is crazy. leave him, if you love your life.
Everything you’ve said! Alllllll of it! I second!
This post you’ve made right here, shows what a manipulative and abusive person you are. Did you really think we would advice Nadia to stay with you ?, so you can kill someone’s precious daughter ?. Go to therapy you need help. Nadia divorce him, the right man will find you for being such an amazing woman.
Damn!! That’s a lot coming from a supposed pastor. Did you know that she can ruin your calling by showing this to the elders and senior pastors in the church? You have alot of work to do cos I don’t think this woman deserves all what you put her through. From the lies, manipulation, deceit, cheating on her with different girls. I don’t wanna judge you but you are a terrible human being. My Ex made me believe that a cheating partner is not only dangerous, they’ll surely beliebe their partner is equally doing the same thing. That lady is talking to her Ex again, wanna know what that means? She’ll soon be warming his bed and maybe she’ll be dating someone else. So it is either she forgives you and move back in with you or she ask for a divorce. You need to first ask for forgiveness and ask yourself, are you truly a pastor? There are so many of ur type out there, sleeping and bedding diff gullible girls using the name of God in vain.
Nadia honestly if you were related to me in anyway I have personally sent his dowry back to him without a second thought. Please run for your life.
Silent beads please we will need an update on this story
Reasons why i believe my uncle should do dna on his child. Some of you pastors are really disgusting!!!
After all this, she should come back to you! Lemme ask you, would you go back to you if you were in such shoes? If that was your sister, would you advise her to go back to someone like you?
You don’t need a wife! You need time in anger management and other therapy and most importantly you need Jesus! Cos there is nothing you’ve said here, that is a reflection of Him. I also wonder what you teach your congregation? Ha God help us!
You are yhe type who keep making Christianity unattractive. First you lied to get her hand in marriage. By your confession her, this can be used as testimony in court to seek divorce. You said you are a pastor but does not live a chaste life during courtship and even after marriage. Unfaithfulness in marriage (adultery) is the only ground Christ gave for divorce. By law and divine measures, this marriage cannot continue. Nadia, please don’t go back to the false prophet Micheal.