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Two years after marriage, my wife decided to bring her sister to come and leave with us. I asked her, “Do we need an extra hand in this house?” She responded, “Not that we need an extra hand but my sister had finished SHS long ago and she’s doing nothing in the house. She should rather come  and live with us instead of wasting away with my parents.” I said, “No she shouldn’t come and live with us if that’s the reason you’re bringing her. The two of us have been managing since we got married plus this is a small place so we can always handle things around here. If she needs assistance we can always extend it to her. She shouldn’t necessarily live with us before we can help.”

My wife is the sort of person who always wants to have her way. If you try to stop her, she’ll go to every length to make your life uncomfortable. After this discussion, she went moody. She got upset very easily and even answering simple questions from me turned into a fight. One day she told me, “My sister is coming tomorrow.” I said, “I thought we agreed that she wasn’t coming?” She said, “This time I didn’t ask her to come. It’s my mother who asked her to come so if you won’t agree, call my mom and tell her your mind.”

I saw the trap she was setting up for me. I was too old to fall into it. The next day, her junior sister was around. It’s a two-bedroom house we live in so she made herself comfortable in the guest’s room. I didn’t say a word. 

Nothing changed when she came around. She was there when I woke up each Saturday morning cleaning the bath and mopping the floor. My wife too did what she ought to do. All this girl did was to sleep and wake up at any time she wanted. She spent most of her time in the hall, watching telenovela and discussing it with whoever would listen. At the night, she could make calls until dawn. Her sister didn’t complain about her behavior and I felt out of place to say a word to her. 

One day, she came asking me for money. I asked her, ”What do you need the money for?” She said, “I need it to purchase one or two things. You know, a girl needs money sometimes.” I asked, “Have you told your sister about it?” She said no. I told her, “Then wait when she comes, I would discuss it with her and decide to give you something.” She said, “Ain’t you the man of this house. Do you have to wait for her before? If that’s the case then stop. I’ll get the money from somewhere else.”

This girl was so disrespectful I didn’t know where she had that attitude from.

Another time I was in the bedroom when she came knocking. When I opened the door, she was in a very short knicker and in a blouse that exposes everything. I asked her, “What do you want?” She said, “My sister promised me some amount. She hasn’t given it to me yet so I’m asking if you could give me the amount. Immediately she gives it to me, I’ll refund your money.” I close the door, went inside, and gave her the money. She never paid the money back and I never asked her. One day, she came up with the same strategy asking for money. I watched her as she turned and wobble. I said I didn’t have money.

One Sunday I didn’t go to church but my wife went. I was in the room taking a nap when this girl knocked and entered. She didn’t even wait for me to ask her to enter. Again she was scantily dressed. “Yes, what do you want?” She said, “Nothing, I came so both of us could have a conversation.” I asked, “What conversation?” She said, “Just normal conversation. It’s not good that both of us would be in the same house and not talk.” I said, “Ok, let’s go to the hall.” She said, “I like it here because of the air-conditioning. The hall one doesn’t work.”

I was lying in bed, shirtless. She was seated at the edge of the single sofa, turning and shaking. We both sat there, saying nothing. I left the room and went to sit outside. She followed. She said, ”It looks like you are scared of me. Do you think I will tell my sister something? I’m not a child.” I asked her, “What do you want from me?” She said, “I don’t need anything but if you give me money, I’ll take it.”

I saw where the whole thing was going and thought it wise to discuss issues with my wife. It was hard at first. I didn’t know the angle I should pick things from but I didn’t want her to suspect anything before I voice out so one night when we were about to sleep, I told her; “Your sister. She’s up to something.” She frowned a little and asked, “What do you mean?” I told her, “She behaves funny around me whenever you’re not around.” She asked, “Like how funny?” I poured out everything to her. The number of times she had asked for money and when she entered our bedroom for a conversation. Everything.

She said, “You mean she did all that?” I said, “How can I lie about something like that…” She got up, rushed to her sister’s room to query her. I tried stopping her but she walked over me. I heard them exchanging words. All I heard her sister say amidst tears was, “He’s lying. I’ve never done such a thing. He doesn’t like me and I know, I’ll leave his house for him tomorrow.”     

My wife came back and said, “I know what you are doing. If that’s your way of trying to kick my sister out, then it won’t work. I can live here with your family without complaint so you have to learn to live with  mine.” I was shocked. I was like, “So you mean I’ll tell such a lie because I don’t like your sister?” She said, “You’ve never liked her and I know it.” 

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I walked to her sister’s room, she followed. I asked her, “You said you’ve never asked for money from me wearing scanty dresses? You said you didn’t come to our bedroom while I was sleeping?” The kind of act this girl put up that night could have won her an Oscar easily. I was so shocked I thought I was dreaming. Back in our room, my wife said, “She’s only twenty-three and there’s no way she could do any of the things you said. I’m beginning to suspect you are the one trying to hit on her and because you thought she’ll report you to me, you rather came reporting to me. I’ll do my own investigation around here.”

This event happened on the 12th of March, 2021 and to date, my own wife doesn’t talk to me. I give housekeeping money every week but she doesn’t cook in the house. She had formed an alliance with her sister while treating me like the common enemy. I love my wife. She’s a good person—quick to anger but very sweet to be around her if you know how to handle her. This issue had become an albatross hanging around my neck. While they sit, laughed, and eat together, they cast weird looks my way as if I’m walking around with flies behind me.

I’m stuck and don’t know what to do. I feel it’s too early to invite a third person into our marital issues. What do I do to get my wife to believe me?

—Julian  

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